A Simple Proposition to Wrestling Fans
(It's been a busy week, so here's a column originally written about a month ago after a lackluster Raw crowd in Green Bay. Hope you like it!)
Another Raw has come and gone, and we as fans were forced to watch at home while a crowd in attendance sat on their hands and had very little reaction to anything worthwhile during the show. The culprits this week, belong in Green Bay, Wisconsin. While those fans were either discussing the latest in dairy products or prognosticating just how much Aaron Rodgers contract will cost the team in the near future, one thing is for certain: those fans were absolutely awful in their lack of participation. WWE relies heavily on its fan base to create moments, to entertain the audience at home with their unique signs, dances and other assorted fanfare that makes the crowd a part of the show more than any other time in professional wrestling.
It is high time, that us as fans no longer sit back and relax when in attendance. We have a dutiful responsibility to make sure that our voices are heard, loud and clear. We cannot, nor should we, be denied the right to express ourselves as those that faithfully love something so near and dear to our hearts. Why would we, as such wonderful fans, not speak out and reach those each week and let them know that WWE has the best fans across all other sports. The proposition, at this point, is quite simple and modest. We as fans must be in tune with the product so we can make the product that much beter for both those watching at home and also the wrestlers performing in front of the live crowd.
Why bother paying good money for a ticket to a live WWE event and not be a part of the action, the excitement that is WWE? Quite frankly, it’s a waste of time to think that you wouldn’t want to partake in the spectacle that is WWE. As part of my simple proposition, here are some rules of etiquette that should be followed at all times.
Signs are forever an important piece of the wrestling fan experience. The first step to proper sign etiquette is to make sure you choose your sign color, the more neon or brightly colored the more likely it will stand out on TV. Who knows, maybe one of the wrestlers will read your poetic one-liner such as the following
This next sign is a proper example of making sure that you take up as much space around you as possible to hope that not only the wrestler it’s addressed to may read it, but so that other people don’t infringe on your own personal space and opportunity to make it onto TV for just a split second or two.
Did you forget what you would look like? Ever wondered what you would look like if you wanted to superimpose your head with Zack Ryder’s hair? Fear no more as these next signs are perfect for their square footage and that the people behind them are sacrificing their view for the greater good. Besides, there’s a giant Titantron in the arena they can watch the show on, what’s a view really worth these days?
Or if you simply want to stay classy, let it be known by your classical approach to your signs.
Enjoy your time on camera, because only you the fan can make any of this possible. A picture is worth a thousand words, but a picture with words in it? That’s worth even more.
Beyond the use of signs on TV, as they will hopefully make a monumental return to TV in the near future, it is important that our voices as fans be heard.
Voices of The Voiceless:
What better way to be a part of the action than shouting at your favorite superstars? It’s important to make sure that the talent hear you as fans, and certainly in unison. Instead of doing nothing, it’s always a good idea to make sure that you are doing something to both enlighten the crowd at home, but also make your presence felt while you’re in attendance. This will help the product be much more interactive and create a much better atmosphere at WWE’s live events through the use of our lungs.
Aside from the general cheering and booing of the good guys and bad guys, fans must go above and beyond the call of duty to make sure the fans at home can value their worthwhile opinions. Let those that are working hard and sweating in the ring know what you think about them and their athletic ability, the best way to do this would be through the chant and clap method, otherwise known as C&C.
Research has been done on this particular method, and while controversy stems from the ratio of syllables to claps, the current customary syllable to clap ratio is 4:5. That is to say this ratio is the only chant possible. There is also the 3 syllable variation, along with the slower more methodical 2 syllable chant. Examples are as shown below.
If a fan were to use state, “This is awesome!”, they would then clap 5 times afterward and continue said fashion until everyone around them has heard them and proceeds to continue with such chants themselves. Don’t stop in the slightest for those around you might believe you to be a complete and utter moron, don’t let that happen to you. Let them know you are enriching the product with your input and it’s better off because of you.
Though perhaps coarse or rude, the traditional, “You fucked up!” stands as a 3 syllable chant on its own (no claps necessary) and is important to the bottom line of the WWE product. Why do you ask? Without stating these important words, wrestlers will never know they made a folly in the ring. It is certainly expected that these physical specimens, most of which have been training for multiple years, would be in such condition that they would not make mistakes, but that is certainly not the case. A reminder is important to let the wrestler know that you are paying attention and you have a high demand for perfection in the squared circle.
But I must digress on the matter as it’s important to provide sufficient examples of the C&C method. Here are some useful lines to use,
“This is awesome…”
“You can’t wrestle…”
“You still got it…”
It also appears at times that WWE’s audio systems don’t work a majority of the time. In those instances, make sure you let them know by chanting, “What?”, over and over again until you feel the pointed is made to the talent that WWE needs to simply adjust its audio quality.
Bold & Interactive:
Still feeling left out at this point? What better way than to pull out your smart phone where you can tweet, tout and vote all at once with the WWE App. It’s really just another screen to look at while the show is going on, even so you’re still a part of the show by letting your Twitter followers know where you are, your Tout followers will know as well when you post that video at the live event. You can do all this while voting for whatever pre-determined opponent you wish another wrestler to face or choose the stipulation. Even though you might miss a match while working all this into the event, it’s well worth the effort because your voice matters, no matter how big or small. Fans in attendance need to be put to good use and this is just one of the many ways fans can be a part of the show.
Be a Non-Believer:
If you are a real fan, it’s your obligation to make sure everyone around you knows exactly what’s going on. Be sure to tell that seven year old boy attending his first WWE show that John Cena isn’t really hut, he’s pretending that way all parties are protected. Because of your uncanny ability to detect what is real and what isn’t, it’s important you share this valuable info with those around you. What else is it good for if this gift isn’t shared with the rest of the world?
You, the fan, are doing them a huge favor by enlightening those other parties with your vested knowledge of the product. You know the ins, the outs, and everything in between. Wouldn’t it be a crime if you didn’t share this information with everyone around you?
By following these guidelines, every single show can be that much better and improved upon the other. Who knows, maybe the next time you attend a show, your sign will take up the most air time and allow others to watch what’s going on in the ring via the titantron. Or maybe you will come up with that unique chant that gets the crowd jumping and in-tune with the product in the ring.
This is merely a simple proposition, and by following these tactics, the WWE will be a better place for everyone involved.
In case you couldn't tell, the article is clearly a satire in the same format as Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal.