The WWE has always been a breeding ground for the ridiculous. From a masked man named Kane that can make fire shoot from the ring posts, his hand, and most recently a garbage can, to a little person named Hornswoggle that lives under the ring with a society of other little people, the WWE never ceases to push the envelope in the category of absurdity.
WWE like any form of entertainment is most memorable and fun when it’s at its best, or at its absolute worst. I love an Oscar quality film, but I’ll be damned if there aren’t a few train wrecks on my favorite films list, and the same goes for the WWE. As good as the WWE can get, there is something about a colossal failure of an “out there” idea that is appealing in a morbid sense. In my estimation, it is because in the case of both a huge success and a horrendous blunder, there is an effort to give me as a viewer something I wasn’t expecting. Entertainment is definitely at its worst when you can tell that there was a lack of effort in all aspects, from the idea to the execution.
So in a way I admire the bizarre and often wacky lengths that they are willing to go to illicit a reaction, completely ignoring any semblance of reality within the world their weekly programming exists. The fact that they prominently feature a character whose entire right arm has a mind of its own once he adorns it with a green sleeve at one time would have completely insulted my intelligence. While I don’t find it funny per se, I understand it is the WWE fishing for a reaction from a younger crowd while at the same time trying something completely outside the box for the sake of comedy and to an extent to add some variety to their programming.
Let’s face it; with five hours of prime time television to fill on a weekly basis (not to mention the extra three hours dedicated to Superstars, NXT, and Saturday Morning Slam), the completely rational and realistic stories can get repetitive and sometimes dull. It takes the completely preposterous stuff like R-Truth believing he has an imaginary friend named Little Jimmy, to make us as viewers truly appreciate the reasonable and logical stories we get.
That being said, I still find myself wondering, can the WWE ever be too ridiculous? Its hard to imagine because the WWE is already has supernatural beings, unexplained phenomenon, etc. so for there to be a logic line that somebody wouldn’t venture across with the WWE at this point, seems preposterous in itself. Taking that into consideration I have decided to present to the loyal readers of TJRWrestling.com, three of the wackiest ideas I’ve ever had concerning the WWE. You tell me if any or all of these off the wall concepts would fly with you as a wrestling fan. Let’s Do This!
Absurd Concept #1 - Little Jimmy Crosses Into Our Dimension Via Dimensional Rift
From the beginning of the “Little Jimmy” saga of R-Truth’s character, I’ve wondered if the WWE would ever in their wildest dreams have the ball s to make Little Jimmy a real guy that exists in an alternate dimension. In this scenario, R-Truth can communicate with Jimmy across dimensional planes due to head trauma that he suffered sometime last year. For months and months heels can call R-Truth insane, while other babyfaces will humor him and his supposed delusions. Maybe at Survivor Series, R-Truth can be on a team that needs another team member but can’t find anyone, at which point R-Truth would suggest Little Jimmy. People would think he’s finally snapped, but the Friday before Survivor Series, during an electrical storm of some sort, R-Truth and a “scientist” use the storm to cause a rift in the space-time continuum that creates a portal between the two dimensions, via which “Little Jimmy” crosses into our world, proving to in fact be a real person, and if possible a “Big” person (the “Little” Jimmy name is ironic in this case).
At the end of the day I’m really just in love with idea that R-Truth was never crazy, because Little Jimmy did exist. It’s unexpected, its funny, and its ground the WWE has never tried to break before. From there Jimmy and R-Truth can be a tag-team going forward, and Jimmy can tell us about how his dimension differs from ours in possibly hilarious comedic segments. Is this idea preposterous? Absolutely, without question! However is it that much more ridiculous that The Boogeyman, The Undertaker, or Kane? You tell me.
Absurd Concept #2 – A Star Is Bourne
Not Evan Bourne, but in this case Jason Bourne. Maybe its because I just recently watched the Bourne Legacy, but I can’t help but think the concept of that film can be transferred somehow to the WWE. Find a promising wrestler from NXT and debut him on the main roster in a tryout match. During the match he will appear uncoordinated and completely out of his depth, before being destroyed by whomever he’s facing (let’s just say Tensai). Have him go to the back disappointed in himself before being told by Booker or AJ that he doesn’t have what it takes. Before he leaves the arena, we see him approached by a man in a suit that offers him the opportunity to be something better than he is.
A Jason Bourne procedure later, and he is suddenly coordinated and a technician in the ring. He is given a second try out match against Tensai and he is performing maneuvers and submissions he has never learned en route to defeating Tensai and receiving a contract. Everything seems fantastic until he discovers that the company that manufactured his abilities owns him both contractually and mentally. He will need to fight against them and what they attempt to reprogram him to do as a WWE Superstar.
This could be fun, a WWE Superstar version of Jason Bourne or Captain America, who has to fight against the nameless, faceless corporation that created him. Is it believable? Not really, but the real question is could it be entertaining enough to give it a shot?
Absurd Concept #3 – Cobra Consciousness Transfer
As I mentioned during the intro, Santino’s Cobra is easily one of, if not the most absolutely ridiculous thing on WWE TV right now. The fact that striking your opponent with the tips of your fingers can render them unconscious is one thing, but the fact that by putting a sleeve on said hand and arm gives Santino’s hand a mind of its own can only be described as unrealistic. My motto is if you’re already absurd, what can even more absurdity hurt?
WWE Creative has already had the Cobra get distracted by Aksana and cost Santino matches, and his United States Championship, thus establishing that it has a mind of its own. Why not make “The Cobra” a complete asshole. I’m talking a pinching General Manager AJ’s butt when she isn’t looking, wrecking Booker T’s office when he isn’t around, and playing mean spirited pranks on other superstars, kind of douchebag. Of course Santino would be blamed for these actions and be punished for them. To make matters worse, The Cobra could start dating Aksana, whom Santino would hate, not approving of her dastardly ways (oh the comedic segments we could squeeze out of Santino as the constant third wheel, like when Cartmen’s hand became Jennifer Lopez on South Park). Eventually Santino would get fed up and attempt to remove the Cobra from his hand, at which point the Cobra’s consciousness would be transferred from Santino’s hand to it’s very own body (all you’d need is a masked superstar to play The Cobra from that point on). Following the transfer The Cobra could attack and feud with Santino, now that it has its own body and can be a superstar on its own.
Santino’s character is already absurd, so this isn’t too much of a stretch if you ask me. If the segments are funny, and the performances are good, I truly don’t think that the fact that this story is completely unrealistic should matter.
That was surprisingly fun for me, but as always I want to know what do you think? Can the WWE ever be too ridiculous? Do my ideas cross the line of believability? Would you still watch if they adopted any of my absurd concepts? What are some absurd ideas you’ve had?
I’ll be back next week with an edition of A Matter of Character on… Michael Cole (seems fitting to look back on the character since his heel persona is pretty much done from what I can gather). Until next time folks, I’m Matty J. Douglas saying that as ridiculous as the WWE gets, they’ll never be more ridiculous than those damn Rent-a-Refs the NFL is using. What a joke!