Fozzie's Den: Respectfully Bored
You know what one of my favorite things about this column is? This is my chance to rant on whatever has been bothering me in the world of wrestling. And since I cover TNA, you know that my stress levels have been high. But all that aside, what is bothering me now is how there is a superstar on the WWE roster who gives everything he has to the company, can talk on the mic, can pull off good matches when he has to, and is a goodwill ambassador for WWE, but somehow, a lot of fans can’t seem to stop hating him. You think I’m talking about the Miz, right? No, I’m talking about John Cena.
Let me just put this out there: I am not a huge Cena fan by any stretch. To be honest, he drives me insane. However, being the objective, rational writer that I am, I can see his appeal, and I can judge him for his talents. The truth of the matter is that when Cena is on top of his game, he is untouchable. You guys may not like to hear it, but Cena is one of the most talented people they have. Sure his acting stinks, and he tells a lot of dumb poop jokes, but a lot of that is the way he is booked. He is the face for the children, and that hurts his credibility amongst us older fans. But let’s think about things another way. Back when I was a little kid, there was one person who made me a fan, and that was Hulk Hogan. I literally became a fan of wrestling for life the moment he slammed Andre. For a lot of new fans, their Hogan is Cena, but instead of “say your prayers”, it’s “Never Give Up”. Guys like Cena are needed to be the clean cut good guy that the kids can root for. That’s his spot, so let’s get over it.
The next thing I want to talk about is Cena’s in-ring ability. While he will never be mentioned as an elite worker, he is not terrible in the ring at all. He has had some classics with CM Punk recently to prove that. And in case you’re just thinking Punk carried him through the matches, Cena also had a match against Batista a few years ago that had no business being as good as it was. He can turn it up when he has to, and that’s a skill that not many wrestlers have.
This brings me to my next point. Can we just stop already with the whole ‘Five moves of Doom” thing? Almost every wrestler ever has had some sort of sequence of moves that set up their finisher, even guys who are held in great revere. Don’t believe me?? Steve Austin, a man who is listed in anyone’s top ten had his Thez Press, lots of punches and kicks, fist drop, elbow off the middle turnbuckle, kick to the stomach, and Stunner. Rock too. My point is that Cena is capable of wrestling when the situation calls for it. It’s the booking that calls for him to be superhuman, so we can’t really blame him for that.
The truth of the matter is that John Cena has been a top guy for about a billion years, and his character has gotten stale. That’s it. There is no other way to say it. I’m as bored with him as the next guy, but to say that Cena sucks or that he can’t wrestle is just ludicrous. The man has talent, plain and simple. He has drawing power as well, which is why he is always around the top if the card. McMahon looks at him and sees dollar signs, and who can blame him. Besides, Cena works as harder than anyone to promote the company, so that earns him his spot.
Like I said earlier, Cena is this generation’s Hogan, their super hero, if you will. Adults hate him because we have all become jaded to how life has treated us, so we see through his shtick. But Cena is for the kids, to usher in a new generation of fans, and that is really what this business is all about – getting new people interested in a product that has been around for many years so that they can be around for many more. Wrestling is a cyclical business, and Cena’s run on top will end eventually. Hell, he may even turn heel, but until that day comes, let’s remember that at the end of the day, Cena is just doing what his boss tells him to do, and he does a good job of it.
What do you think? Am I right, or am I just feeding you guys horse shit? Please let me know in the comments below. I’ll be back tomorrow for WTF.