Good Morning Humanoids! My name is Lonestar Mercury and these are today’s top stories.

Sunny, a woman frequent “Headlines” readers are no doubt familiar with, is in the news once again, this time for annoying the WWE enough that they’ve officially called take-backs on their free rehab gift. Here’s why:

Sunny accused WWE of sending her to a nice facility simply because Linda McMahon was running for Senate at the time - and then sending her to a rundown dump facility as soon as Linda's Senate campaign was over. She was particularly upset because the company kept sending Scott Hall to expensive, high-end rehab facilities. She says that when she brought this to their attention, they told her, "You're not Scott Hall." Source:

First of all, nothing about her explanation sounds unbelievable. I would totally believe the WWE used her rehabilitation (among others) as a tool to make Linda McMahon look good for political purposes. I would also totally believe that Scott Hall gets preferential treatment from the company, especially when a friend of his remains a very important figure in said company.

……..but……’s quite hard to sympathize with someone complaining that her free gift isn’t as good as someone else’s free gift. It’d be like me complaining about the free cookie my boss gave me and comparing it to the bigger free cookie my boss gave my longer-tenured and higher ranking employee. Except in this situation the cookie is getting off the smack, I guess.

WWE issued a statement to this week and have now publicly stated that they will no longer fund rehab for Sunny. Here is their statement:

"As part of the Former Talent Rehabilitation Program, WWE has sent Ms. Sytch to rehabilitation numerous times, with all costs covered by WWE. Unfortunately, Ms. Sytch has continued to make poor personal choices and is ultimately responsible for the consequences of these decisions. WWE has always provided rehabilitation at a certified treatment center; however, given Ms. Sytch’s inability to change her lifestyle and successfully complete treatment, WWE will no longer fund her rehabilitation."

And so they giveth and so they taketh awayeth…eth.

It is kind of a harsh thing to do, to cut off an addict’s easiest access to a healthy future, but at a certain point I guess you have to let them figure their own crap out, however painful that might be. Of course I say this from the experience of someone who’s never, ever had to deal with this sort of thing……’s a picture of Sunny from the good old days?

Here's the video of Tammy talking with Kayfabe Commentaries too.


Hey that Scott Hall guy is going to stay with DDP and hopefully turn his life around like Jake the Snake, making this edition of Friday Headlines the least jokey edition ever. ( Shine on you crazy diamond, shine on.

The man we know as El Generico showed up in NXT at a live event, looking pretty much like El Generico. He didn’t actually wrestle, but instead hung out with Brodus Clay and danced with him and a non-funkadactyl after the match. ( If that’s not a test to see if the big name indy guy will crack, I don’t know what is.

There’s a rumor going around that blank did something with blank. Since apparently rumors are reported as news now, I’m going to do the same. John Cena and the Rock both cheated on their ex-wives…..with me.

And that’s all the news you can use. Want some more comedy with a 90s nostalgic bent? Check out Blogelodeon. I’m writing about Rocko’s Modern Life and Andrew Johnson is covering Are You Afraid of the Dark? Which, yes, I might have been.