Good morning Humanoids. Put away your new Batman DVDs because I’m Lonestar Navidad and these are today’s top stories.

Michelle McCool. Remember her? She was the Michelle less known for stripping. Annnyway, McCool occasionally gives interviews to her fan-site and has recently been talking about some of the divas she worked with when she was an active wrestler. It’s been mostly praise but her interview concerning Melina has a few interesting nuggets….such as:

"So, I never actually had a problem with Melina and we worked a lot together. When she came to SmackDown, we worked a program together. We had a match at the Pay-Per-View, Night of Champions. There, we put a mark on things -- we totally got in trouble!"

Please be sexy trouble, please be sexy trouble.

"We got in trouble for our match at Night of Champions. We got in trouble for our match being quote-unquote "too good... for girls." So, I don't care how much I get in trouble if that's what I'm getting in trouble for. It started where I drop-kicked her on her split-entrance to the mat -- crazy, crazy bump -- which she was always game for. The crazier, the better! We always worked well with each other, always wanted to come up with something different; some new way to come out of her moves, get into one of my moves, something you don't always see the girls do."

Yeah, that’s sexy enough trouble. I’ll take it.

It was that day [Night of Champions] I was like: "could you not tell anybody, but do you think we could do a DDT on the barricade?" And she was like: "Ohhhh! Yeah!!!" -- Not even thinking twice about it. We kind of hid it all day, even though we did ask our agent for approval, I think it was Fit -- which is no secret that he was always fighting for the girls. We just made sure that we can stand up and get our balance, but we never actually did the bump {before the match}. She was the one who was going to take the huge bump, and there was no doubt, no hesitation, that she would make it look ridiculous -- and it did! [During the match] She finally takes the bump, it looks sick, pops off -- up to that point, that was the best match I've ever had. We had the pay-per-view, we had time, I was really proud of that match."

"The next day, one of the agents came up to us and was like: "I can't believe y'all did that! You have no idea! We were all backstage, scared to death!" We were like: "...What? We know how to safely bump. We wouldn't do anything that would put either one of us at risk. We're totally fine! If the men can do it, why can't we do it?" He said: "It looked too good! You can't go out there throwing punches like that, or taking bumps like that -- that looks better than some of the guys! You can't do that!" Finally, I remember Chris Jericho, who was by the ring, hears all of this going on. He said: "Look, if the guys can't follow what the girls are doing, then the guys need to step it up! I thought it was awesome. They did great. And it's not their problem that it looked that great!" I was like... "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Because out of respect, we can't say anything, and here comes one of the boys -- Jericho, of all people, sticking up for us!"

So yes, ladies and gentleman, the WWE does officially tell its lady wrestlers to tone it down so the big bad men-folk don’t look silly. Later on in the interview McCool even mentions that she and Victoria were forced to retape their match once because some of their punches looked too good. Heaven forbid the women do their job well.


John Cena spent Christmas with the Bella twins. In related news I spent Christmas with my girlfriend too, but hey I’m not a celebrity so the mundane details of my life are of no interest to the unwashed masses.

WCW wrestler and NFL guy Steve “Mongo” McMichael has done the necessary paperwork to run for mayor of a Chicagoland suburb. Blazing Saddles references in campaign ads or we riot.

Sin Cara is expected to come back from knee surgery way sooner than expected, like maybe this Saturday even. Meanwhile I stubbed my toe a few days back and I still can’t dress myself without a beer and a lot of assistance.

And that’s the post-Christmas news. Do be careful with that new BB gun. You could, in fact, shoot your eye out.