Welcome to your Friday Headlines, straight from the news desk. I'm your humble correspondent, Princess Peach.

Not too much simmering in the vats of pro wrestling rumors for your upcoming weekend, so we'll lead off with the WWE's continuing practice of using actual STRAIGHT FROM THE HEADLINES news to generate their storylines, Law & Order style. The storyline in question concerns the ongoing shaming of The Big Show for his "financial troubles," which most recently included Triple H buying Show's house.

The inspiration for this flash of brilliance was apparently from a recent CM Punk DVD. The DVD in question featured a story about trainer (and MNM alum) Joey Mercury, who during a bout of personal issues was unable to secure financial backing to purchase his home until Punk stepped in. Aside from the fact that this tale seems like a really odd place to draw inspiration from, it makes this reporter wonder what other recent DVD releases the WWE creative team could scour for ideas.

I for one am waiting for what scintillating tales could be gleaned from the Inspector Gadget Megaset. (Rajah)


 
While we're on the topic of the McMahon Family and real estate, it appears The New York Post has finally uncovered the reason that Stephanie has been selling buckets of WWE stock at every opportunity for the past several months. According to the paper, Steph is "selling a portion of her class B shares for personal financial purposes that includes building a house."

Mrs. McMahon-Levesque has apparently sold off a full third of her class B stock to finance this construction, to the tune of a whopping $8.3 million dollars. And here Friday Headlines thought Stephanie had just completed watching Battleground and decided to sell, sell, sell. No word on whether the proposed domicile will be for The Big Show. (INC)

In the spirit of giving, Friday Headlines offers contractor advice:

One of the most revered games in wrestling is sitting in a circle and trying to top your friends in a round of "What's John Cena's Greatest Shame?" The answer, it seems, has been provided by the man himself. Interviewed on ESPN's Highly Questionable show, JC provided some most interesting commentary concerning his WrestleMania 28 match with The Rock:

"There is a giant underlying story that you may or may not know about. I really would have liked to be on top that night. It's the good with the bad. The unique thing about the WWE is that it's sport and that it's entertainment, and it's the best of both. Everybody wants to be the Super Bowl champion but there can only be one. And it was a bit of a disappointment that on that night I couldn't be."

While one certainly can't put Cena in the realm of Hulk Hogan when it comes to failure to job, this remark is a bit puzzling on a couple of levels. For starters, Cena defeated Rock in their "Once In A Lifetime (If You Believe in Reincarnation)" match the following year. Secondarily, and no less importantly, an outsider might suggest that a bigger shame to PaRappa the Rapper was losing to the Miz at WrestleMania 27. But, hey, it's his call.

For your consideration, I submit this:

Continuing Friday Headlines' storied tradition of bringing you all things John Cena, you will either be excited or horrified (depending on your age and degree of sanity) to learn that he has ventured into the clothing business. That's right, the upstanding lad on your block can head to the nearest Kmart and obtain a windbreaker or cardigan from the "Never Give Up" clothing line.

What can bring a local youth more hustle, loyalty and respect than some delightful fleece cargo pants? Provide neverending Twitter injury updates from the comfy confines of your faux Sherpa-lined hoodie. (That's right, no actual Sherpa was harmed.) And, of course, plot your latest comeback in your pajamas or robe. Unfortunately, absolutely NO jean shorts are in the line, which your reporter seems as a major oversight. Perhaps it's a rather good idea that so many of the items feature camouflage. (Rajah)

Inspiration for the name of the clothing line? Easy:

Finally, in the unceasing wackiness that is the saga of WWHHEU (Where Will Hulk Hogan End Up?), the insider perspective appears to be that he will end up returning to TNA. There is still a great deal of conjecture, however, regarding the WWE's interest in the Hulkster, particularly with a milestone WM right around the corner.

Should the inductions of Randy Savage or The Ultimate Warrior actually happen (and how exactly are we still talking about this at this point?) word has it that the WWE would like HH to be the one making that induction. That would be especially interesting in the case of the Warrior, as Friday Headlines is quick to point out that both men have been rather frosty to each other at times over the years. Then again, when it's the potential of a truckload of cash, let's just judge too hastily.

In addition, it's expected that as is their wont, WWE will be looking for a big name to add cachet to the event and help out buys. Last year's WM numbers were a bit softer than expected, and it doesn't seem that Rock or Steve Austin will be around to get folks ordering up. Hogan therefore could be a big name attraction that would assist in the selling of the company's biggest PPV.

Ultimately, and unexpectedly, he who pays most laughs last. It remains to be seen when the Hulkster will return, but Friday Headlines hopes it's not in a thong on top of a wrecking ball. Again. (Rajah)

That clears the news desk for this Friday, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to thank you for taking time to read the dirt of the day. As always, chime into the conversation roiling in the depths below or send origami ideas and holiday cheer to @DharmanRockwell. Have a great weekend and I'll see you Tuesday!