Yes, I’m still here. It’s time for a confession. I only wrote that column on Wednesday because there was a marathon of Storage Wars on and I couldn’t pull myself away long enough to write anything meaningful about wrestling. Well, not really. That story is a lie. I still don’t know what my situation is going to be moving forward, but I’m here with another day of Headlines for you fine folks. Before I go on, I want to thank everybody who commented with words of encouragement, pleas not to leave, and everlasting tears at the thought of me not writing anymore. Seriously, thank you all for your support. I really wanted to respond but I still can’t figure out which Facebook setting is causing my comments to not show up. In my possible future, I’ll create a Yahoo account or something to comment with so I can actually talk to you guys. I do read every comment and take it to heart, but I’ve apparently drank too much alcohol in the past few years to learn how to respond properly.

With that said, let’s forget about my melodrama and see what’s up in the news. In news that I wish was a direct result of my column on Wednesday but definitely isn’t, WWE is apparently looking to make people care again. This 1000th Raw is going to be a big deal if the reports are true. Supposedly, the company is going all out and treating this show like a major pay-per-view event. As one might guess, they’ve reached out to the usual legends like Jimmy Hart, Jimmy Duggan, Jimmy Johns, Roddy Piper, etc. Basically, all the legends they always bring around for these types of shows. However, they’re also looking for some bigger surprise names that we don’t always see. This could be a pretty big opportunity to have a majorly talked about moment if WWE plays its cards right. I’m thinking the return of Ric Flair could be a big deal for this show if they do it correctly and he keeps his clothes on. Unless he’s elbow dropping his jacket, of course. That’s just awesome.

One guy they are going after is The Undertaker, which shouldn’t be too overly hard because, you know, he’s contracted to the company. The hope is that advertising his appearance a few weeks out will help boost the ratings that are sagging lower than Mae Young’s prosthetic whatever-those-were. Other rumored ratings ploys are introducing new talents as well as building a pay-per-view level card and promoting it three weeks out.

That last one scares me. The definition of a pay-per-view level card can vary greatly in today’s climate. We could get CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan in an Ironman match, or we could get John Cena in a handicap match taking on a cardboard cutout of Penn & Teller. Either one seems suitable for the latest string of pay-per-views.

In the same article, it’s also mentioned that WWE is looking to do another “knock your socks off” angle for the summer similar to The Nexus invasion and the Summer of Punk 2. This is also being done to boost the ratings and have the product be less stagnant. If this turns out to be true, then the 1000th episode of Raw seems like a good place to do something major. Cue the Cena heel turn rumors.

Despite my waning interest in today’s product, I’m still looking forward to seeing if WWE truly pulls out all the stops for this show. Depending on who they can get to appear, it could be a Hell of a night. Or it could be the equivalent of watching a three hour long director’s cut of anything Adam Sandler has done since Happy Gilmore. Time will tell. (Lordsofpain)




Shane McMahon will be ringing the opening bell at the NASDAQ stock market this morning in Times Square in New York. He will ring the bell by climbing to the top of where they drop the ball on New Year’s Eve and elbow dropping the bell, then try to force the bell to stop dating his sister. (

The Miz announced on Twitter that he has begun weapons training for his role in The Marine: I’m The Miz and I was never discharged from the military. He posted a picture of him aiming a gun at the camera. Maybe it’s the lighting, but he appears to be trying to grow a beard. The beard will probably work very well for a while only to completely forget what it’s doing and stop trying midway through its bearding career. (Twitter)

Randy Orton’s suspension is costing him somewhere around $200,000 for not working for 60 days. In other news, fuck Randy Orton. (Lordsofpain)

That will do it for me today. As always, continue to enjoy all the great articles here at and thank you for reading.

Cody D.