Good morning Humanoids. My name is Lonestar Jackhammer and….oh no, my pants are gone!

According to lordsofpain.net there was some internal debate over whether or not next year’s Wrestlemania should use 30 as its numeral designation or the roman letters XXX. The triple X’s do of course look and sound cooler than plain old 30 and wrestling just loves its “3”s but there is one slight problem with that idea. In fact, to demonstrate, go google XXX wrestling right now and see what happens. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

(DISCLAIMER!!!! For Pete and Pete’s sake, don’t do this while on any sort of work computer, ya stupid schmuck!”)

(DOUBLE DISCLAIMER!!!!! If you do google those words and click on those links I am not responsible for any feelings, positive or negative, that may result from these instructions! I also don’t want to hear about them!)

(TRIPLE DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!! Here’s your pizza giant fake booby lady. If you don’t have any money you can pay with “the nasty”)

Yeah…….XXX is porn. Porn, porn, porn. In honor of such an internal debate, I will now reveal the secret porn names of the biggest stars currently in the WWE. Ahem.

CM Punk = C**k Monster Hunk

John Cena = Dong Cena

“The Viper” Randy Orton = Ill-tempered Trouser-Snake

Sheamus = Small Package

The Rock = Rocky Johnson

Triple H = Jean-Paul Levesque

……..

……..

No, I’m not ashamed of this. Why are you asking?

IN OTHER NEWS:

The WWE recently had a tryout camp and nobody can figure out whether or not Sami Callihan was there. (Rajah.com) One would think that would be pretty easy to determine. Then again, the copy paste sites couldn’t figure out whether or not the Briscoes were going to show up despite the fact that they said they weren’t going to so….whatever.

TNA is ending their lease with Universal Studios at the end of March. (Rajah.com) No word on whether or not the theme park gets to keep Garrett Bischoff for their cotton candy stand.

Shelton Benjamin appears to be wrapping up his commitments with Ring of Honor. (Wrestling Observer) And my workplace is hiring a new stockroom manager. Coincidence? I think not.

Dixie Carter’s latest big announcement was that Jeff Hardy re-signed with TNA. (Lords of Pain.) Jeff’s an easy negotiation really. All you have to promise is the title, a relaxed schedule and unlimited access to day-glo paint and you’re good to go.

And that’s the news! Enjoy your weekend and check out Blogelodeon, a blog about your favorite childhood tv shows. It’s nostalgia-riffic!

Twitter.com/LonestarTJR

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