Greetings everyone. May I cut in? Assuming you were dancing of course. But even if you weren't, too bad because I'm cutting in anyway.
Did anyone else see this random Fandangoo teaser on the most recent edition of Monday night RAW? Apparently (and spoiler alert in case you don't already know) it is the new gimmick for current WWE Superstar Johnny Curtis. At first I thought this is going to suck balls. And not literally I hope. Was I the only one saying to myself how this guy sort of reminds me of a gay version of Disco Inferno? Funny part was I read a comment on a forum with someone else asking the same thing and another guy replied that Disco Inferno was the gay version of Disco Inferno. That made me legit LOL.
Going back to this whole gimmick change, will it work? Or will it flop? As with anything when it comes to WWE, time will tell. But at least they are doing something with Johnny instead of letting him be just another typical generic wrestler on the roster. I hope for his sake it works and it will be entertaining. I also hope he does an SNL Chip N' Dale type skit with Brodus or Big Show. No actually I really don't. Vince does, though. Wouldn't surprise me.
Speaking of gimmick changes, I was thinking about how funny it would have been if other wrestlers had got some of the gimmicks we have seen instead of the wrestler that actually got it. For example, when Big Show debuted, could you imagine him with the Funkasaurus gimmick instead of Brodus Clay? Or what if Kevin Nash had debuted as the Undertaker? How different would careers be today? Or what if Dolph Ziggler debuted as a male cheerleader or with a golf caddy gimmick? Wait nevermind. That actually happened. Hey Kerwin White. How you doing? NICKY!
Dear mother of all that is holy. This AJ / Vickie / Cena storyline is brutal! BRUTAL! I mean I really want to try and point out the good that is in WWE right now but wow is this ever painful to watch. Not only is it stupid and doesn't make any sense what soever, but even if it did I'm pretty sure I still wouldn't care. Why would we care? AJ is no longer GM so why drag this on? And AJ not being GM is a good thing because that means we will get to see more matches from her that average in at three minutes. That's a pretty sweet gig. Look all sexy and work a three minute match if you are lucky and you get to travel the world? Sign me up WWE. Oh wait I'm a dude. Never mind. Still a sweet gig though.
Honestly, is this the best WWE creative could come up with right now? And does Vickie realize just how stupid she looks for actually going through with it? I know these people are just doing their jobs when they are handed these scripts, but why they never question it is beyond me. If I were Vickie, I would flat out question the fact that accusing a fellow wrestler of having an affair (even though it is public knowledge by now that Cena is divorced so explain that one to me) with another wrestler makes her look like such a hypocrite. But thankfully Cena was kind enough to make her look like a fool and point that out this past Monday. And then shortly after that I feel asleep, which brings me to my next point.
Three hour Raw episodes. I hate them like a fat kid hates his vegetables. Not only does the live crowd clearly get worn out by the third hour, but us fans at home do too. I've mentioned before how being from Canada means RAW airs from 9pm to 12pm for some reason and so far, I've only been able to stay awake until the end once. Two factors come in to play here. The first is that I am up early every day of the week with work and a new born. The second is that WWE programming just plain sucks right now. But hey, it's that time of the year. Never a good time of the year that's for sure. The point is that I hope they come to their senses and go back to two hours soon. Three hours is just too much wrestling. Sorry let me rephrase that. Three hours is too long in general, but it wouldn't be so bad if they actually had good storylines, feuds and wrestling matches. But we haven't exactly been getting that. It's harsh but it's the truth.
FEED ME MORE! Chicken. FEED ME MORE! Hot Dogs. FEED ME MORE! Watermelon! Wouldn't it be hilarious if this is what the crowd started chanting after Ryback did his catchphrase instead? Just blurt out some random food item? My friends and I were doing it at the last house show we went to, but it didn't seem to catch on. For shame. But hopefully enough people read this and word of mouth spreads fast before Monday. Fingers crossed. Come on new bike! (Simpsons reference people. Come on.)
Well that is all for this week. Until next time, sit back, relax and Melo Out because that's what wrestling is all about!
Steve “The Melo Man” Melo