Melo Out - WWE WrestleMania 29 Predictions
Hello everyone. I'm going to get right to it this week and with Wrestlemania just one week away, I've decided to look at the entire card and offer my feedback and match predictions. Yes, things could very well change between now and next Sunday, but regardless, these are my predictions in terms of the matches that have been confirmed, including one that has been rumored just to be safe. So let's get to it shall we?
WWE Women's Championship: Kaitlyn(c) vs. AJ Lee
This is the rumored match. In case it does happen, I'd expect Kaitlyn to retain. Lose on TV, win at Wrestlemania. It may change or be confirmed on the next and final RAW, but I don't see WWE taking the title off of Kaitlyn just yet. I see AJ winning it eventually, just not yet.
Melo Man's Pick: Kaitlyn
Brodus Clay, Tensai & The Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins
The perfect bathroom break. That pains me to say especially considering that the talented team of Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow are in this match. But why should I care about this match if WWE basically just put it together for the simple sake of putting a match together? If you are going to have a filler match, why not put Brodus and Tensai against the Prime Time Players or the Usos? I'd much rather see that instead of Team Rhodes Scholars being wasted like this.
If I had to venture a guess here, I'm gonna go with Team Brosai and the dinosaur ladies, because you know Vince can't have a Wrestlemania where someone isn't dancing like a buffoon. Or in this case a group of them. At least Nikki Bella can debut her new chesticles. Ahhhh yeah. Twin magic will never be the same. She ruined it for the both of them now. It would be funny to see them even try it. But if they do I'll probably miss it because I'll be literally urinating. Tons of urinating, not funk.
Melo Man's Pick: Brodus Clay, Tensai & The Funkadactyls
Intercontinental Championship: Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz
Yawn. I don't care. Miz is still annoying and therefore I can't take him seriously at all as a face. Of course if you read my column last time, you already knew that. As far as Wade Barrett is concerned, I should care more but along with the current United States Champion Antonio Cesaro, both of them have so many non-title matches on a weekly basis that I just don't care anymore. I don't care about either title and I don't care about this match. Instead of having Cesaro in the rumoured per-show match, I would much rather see two heels like Cesaro and Barrett have a brawl and unify these two titles with Barrett winning and just having the Intercontinental title with Cesaro winning it in a rematch at Extreme Rules.
But since this is the match we are getting and WWE is desperately trying to get Miz over as a face, why not Miz then. Who cares?
Melo Man's Pick: The Miz
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango
This one is a real head scratcher, not in terms of who I think will win, because there is no one on the current roster who is willing to put new stars over like only Jericho can. I'm just wondering why. If it's to try to get Fandango over, then he couldn't ask for a better opponent. It just shocks me that Jericho would come back for this. I mean after all it's Wrestlemania. And talk about the pressure on Fandango as well, to debut on the grandest stage of them all. Here's hoping that although he is going to get the win that he doesn't mess up too bad. But again, thankfully Jericho will be there to make him look good.
Melo Man's Pick: Fandango
Ryback vs. Mark Henry
I don't think there is a more obvious choice here other than Ryback. Granted yes Mark Henry did just come back and has been booked pretty good. Because that's what he does apparently. But it is even more obvious that the match will end with the amazing sight of Ryback lifting Henry up onto his back, stomping around the ring and delivering the Shellshock for the three count. This one could be quite interesting or a boring one. We will just have to wait and see I guess.
Melo Man's Pick: Ryback
WWE Tag Team Championship: Hell No(c) vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston
I don't know what exactly is going on with Dolph Ziggler and WWE management at the moment and I'll never understand why they paired him off with Langston either, but one thing I am pretty sure of is there is no way Ziggler and another random muscle head are winning the tag title off of Hell No. I refuse to call them Team Hell No because we aren't idiots. We know they very well they are a tag team. And although I feel Hell No has run its course, they are still a good team and it really wouldn't make any sense for them to put the titles on Ziglang. Yes I made up a crappy tag team name. Deal with it people.
Melo Man's Pick: Hell No
Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show vs. The Shield
One thing I must say that WWE has done well is the way they have booked The Shield so strongly. With that being said, it would be a huge shame to derail that train now. And with all the focus on can Sheamus and Orton trust Big Show, I think most people are forgetting the other rumor of Orton turning heel. Will he do it here and cost his team the match? Will he snap after the match? Who knows? All I know is like the tag team match, it would make no sense to Shield to lose this one and I am hoping they don't. Regardless, I expect a good match here as should all of you.
Melo Man's Pick: The Shield
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio(c) vs. Jack Swagger
I wonder if this match will start the show. It would appear to be a new trend with opening Wrestlemania matches with the World Heavyweight Championship being defended. It also clearly makes it that much less important than the WWE Championship and in hindsight basically just a modern version of the Intercontinental Title when you really think about it.
Before Swagger's DUI arrest, I would have gone with him to win, but now I'll have to go with Del Rio with the belief that the only reason Swagger hasn't been punished yet is because of this storyline and match booking that he is currently involved in. One would think that Del Rio retains and then Swagger gets punished, but knowing WWE and my luck, Swagger will win and have a lengthy title reign. For shame. One can hope though can't they? By the way, it is also worth noting that although I am a Del Rio supporter, I dislike what they have done to his theme music and still feel he is much better as a heel, even if it was getting stale. Just my two cents.
Melo Man's Pick: Alberto Del Rio
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (No Holds Barred Match; If Lesnar wins, Triple H must retire)
The logical choice here is Lesnar should dominate and Triple H should just retire and do whatever he is doing behind the scenes. I don't really follow it too much but from what I've read he is doing good things. It still does not change the fact that he is Triple H, he is getting his rematch with Lesnar here at Wrestlemania and will more than likely win because one would expect people to give much more of a flying kite about his retirement match than what is currently being displayed. But hey maybe I am wrong. Maybe Lesnar does win and go on to dominate WWE on his part time contract. After all, even if he wins the WWE championship, it's not like he has to be there. Just ask The Rock.
Melo Man's Pick: Triple H
The Undertaker vs. CM Punk
Out of all the matches on the card, the one that I am most looking forward to is this one. Would I be saying that had Paul Bearer not passed away and had WWE chose to not incorporate that event into this storyline? I probably still would, but it is pretty sad that they have had to resort to that just to get my interest level up.
Personally I feel Undertaker should have just wrestled his last match last year. It was a great match and a great Wrestlemania moment when Triple H, HBK and himself hugged it out. 20-0. It would have been a great ending. Instead we are being treated with CM Punk trying to take a crack at the streak. He talks a big game and believe me he is the best right now when it comes to talking on that mic, but don't be fools, people. He isn't ending the streak. The streak will never end. And if it does than damn you Undertaker for making me look like an idiot.
Melo Man's Pick: The Undertaker. 21-0.
WWE Championship: The Rock(c) vs. John Cena
The main event. Once in a lifetime. Whoops sorry twice I meant to say. Honest typo I swear. Greatness vs. Redemption. That is how the WWE are billing this match. Only problem is, greatness hasn't really been around to properly build this rematch that not many want to see and is only being done as a smart business move to generate a crap load of money. And don't even get me started on Mr. Redemption. That guy doesn't really need to win the WWE championship again as much as he is trying to make us believe he is or needs it.
If there is one thing he does need and one thing that they have been building to is that Cena needs to win and in my opinion, will beat The Rock. One interesting thing to note is Cena keeps saying he needs to beat The Rock, just like Stone Cold said he needed to beat The Rock back at Wrestlemania 17. In the end and as we all know, Stone Cold won and turned heel. As cool as it would be to see that here, I don't think we are going to. Cena ain't gonna turn heel and Vince ain't going to come down to ringside to slide him a steel chair. It's just not going to happen. WWE is too afraid of losing merchandise sales and upsetting the children.
Would the long awaited Cena heel turn be cool to see here? Of course. It would be a memorable moment, but I fear that we are going to just get a Cena win with a Rock salute and that's it. So that is what I am going to go with.
Melo Man's Pick: John Cena
So there you have it. Those are my picks. Do I sound angry? I'm not. I'm upset. There's a difference. I am upset because for the first time in years, I am very disappointed with WWE. It feels like just because Wrestlemania is already sold out that they know they are gonna get their sweet money and therefore they haven't really cared about the overall quality of WWE programming that we have been treated to enjoy at this time of year. It should be the best time to be a wrestling fan, but instead we are treated to 3 hour lackluster RAW's each and every week.
I have paid to see Wrestlemania every year since Wrestlemania 17. It's the one time of year where I am that excited to give WWE my hard working money to see what is supposed to be the greatest show of the year, but I just can't do it this year. My interest level is just not there. I should be excited but instead I am disappointed.
I am disappointed because I know they can do so much better than this. The potential is there. The talent is there. The desire? I hope I am proven wrong and Wrestlemania 29 goes down in the history books as one of the best ever. I just don't see it happening. I can't be the only one.