Monday Headlines: Bruno Sammartino Has Figured Out That The Internet Is Full Of Liars
Hey guys, first off I need to apologize for the absence of Smacking Of Smackdown this week. We had kind of a family emergency to deal with, and if I had known that the majority of my weekend would have been spent in a car I probably would have asked someone to fill in. Please know it wasn't my intent to just skip it all together. If you all want to pull together and make a voodoo doll of me out of my hair and poke it with sharp objects out of protest be my guest, but I'll make it up to you somehow.
Anyway, now that my heartfelt plea for understanding has been delivered, I should probably tell you that everyone on the Internet is a goddamn liar. I probably should have come up with a better top story to follow that.
Recently Bruno Sammartino sat down with Busted Open Radio and talked about a variety of topics concerning his WWE Hall Of Fame induction, but some of the topics were more interesting than others. For example, when he was asked if his deal meant he didn't have to interact with Vince McMahon.
“That’s a lie! I have heard so many different things that goes on in this internet and I don’t understand where it all comes from. Where do people get this information? People have told me so many things that they saw on the internet. That is nonsense. I absolutely have never suggested that the conditions be that I would not have anything to do with Vince or see him or anything like that. Absolute lies. I resent people writing these things when they have no idea what the heck they are talking about because there is no truth to it at all.”
Welcome to the party, pal.
Look, I didn't believe for a second that this rumor was real. Back when we were kids I heard all kinds of wrestling related rumors. Here are the following dumbest:
- Kevin Nash and Scott Hall were secretly under contract to WWE during their WCW run.
- Taka Michinoku had it written in his contract that he would receive a WWE title shot. In a fake sport.
- The whole Ultimate Warrior is dead, thing.
- CM Punk's pipebomb was real.
- Vince forced Stephanie to get a boob job.
So whatever, I'm sure there were people that bought this because people are easy to trick and assholes are all over the Internet. They could have at least made the lie more interesting, and said Bruno's real issues weren't with Vince but with someone like The Blue Meanie. In fact, I think I'm going to start that rumor now.
BREAKING NEWS: Bruno Sammartino Refuses to be Inducted In WWE Hall Of Fame Unless Blue Meanie Isn't Present, WWE Responds "No Problem."
IN OTHER NEWS
The Miz apparently almost murdered CM Punk at a house show, which actually sounds about right if you want me to be honest about it. (Wrestle Zone)
Michael McGillicutty recently tweeted "Nothing can stop me. No one will slow me down. I own my life. I own my future. I own the ring. Im the Boss," to which reality said "Guess again." (NoDq)
Kenn Doane (formerly Spirit Squad Kenny) is writing an anti-bullying book for kids. When I asked him about his motivation for writing this book, he responded "Your mom's jugs, homo," and then shoved me in the dirt. (Rajah)
TJR's Jacob Lindsey did a podcast with the guys at Falls Count Anywhere. You should listen to it. Or not, if you want to be a dick about it. (Falls Count Anywhere)
A rap-ist (is that the word? Rapperist?) named TKO emailed me a song he wrote about The Rock, and while Rap isn't really my thing I really enjoyed this. So while I've got you listening to things, check this out. (TKO-YouTube)
Final Note: I recently started a new blog about old Nickelodeon shows with TJR's own Lonestar and some other pals, and I'd really appreciate if you'd check it out. Nothing screams adulthood quite like blogging about wrestling and Nickelodeon on the web. For free. (Blogelodeon)