If you missed the Royal Rumble and are a fan of surprising twists and turns, than last night you missed a few awesome things. Specifically:

- The return of Chris Jericho

- A Rhodes Rumble show-down between Cody and his brother Goldust

- A Godfather appearance (although I would have preferred Papa Shango)

- Kofi Kingston using a rolling chair as a pogo stick

However, if you're not a fan of unpredictable outcomes and appreciate almost zero surprises and twists, have I got good news for you:

From Wrestling Inc:

The planned main event for WrestleMania 29 is John Cena vs. The Rock for the WWE Title, made clear at last night's Royal Rumble pay-per-view after Cena won the Rumble and Rock won the WWE Title from CM Punk.

I'm okay with The Rock and Cena winning, mostly because I've prepared myself for it for months, but at the same time I can't help but feel a tad disappointed that WWE decided to go the most obvious route. But whatever, it's fine, life goes on. The biggest upside I can see to this is that maybe Rock will finally be the guy to recognize the the spinner belt as the piece of garbage it is, toss it in the river, and bust out that Brahma Bull belt they made in the 90's and never used, which would be the next necessary step to eventually getting a proper new design. Chances are though they'd instead carry around the Brahma Bull belt for another 10 years because WWE has a thing for ugly ass eyesores to represent their most coveted title.

Anyway, whatever, I can't wait to go to WrestleMania this year and leave to buy a pretzel during the main-event. Main-event pretzels are the best pretzels.

Read full Rumble recap here.


Hulk Hogan tweeted a creepy ass picture of his daughter's legs this weekend, because what normal father isn't proud of his daughter's sculpted gams to the point that he'd tweet a picture of her in a short skirt to millions of people? That's right, none of them. (The Big Lead)

Chris Jericho has reportedly been signed to a short-term deal and will be working through WrestleMania, possibly against Ryback.Which sounds cool, if you're into storylines that make no goddamn sense. Jericho should just join the 3MB so they can kick out Jinder Mahal. Nothing proves wrestling is fake more than a guy from southern West Virginia being friends with a dude who enters the ring with a turban on his head, because I know from experience that that's never happened. West Virginia is racist as f**k, guys. (NoDq)

The Godfather is expected to appear tonight on RAW since the show is taking place in his home town of Las Vegas. Call me crazy, but was one of those hoes last night Lindsay Lohan? I mean I hear she needs work, but Jesus Christ. (Lords of Pain)

Email: johnsonator62@yahoo.com

Twitter: @TheAEJohnson

Tumblr: Andrew Johnson Is A Robot