Happy Monday Humanoids. I’m Lonestar Hathaway filling in for Jacob Lindsey (have you been reading his Summerslam columns?) and here our today’s top stories.

The internet continues to have no god damn idea what the heck is going on with one Kia Stevens, the wrestler better known as Kharma in WWE and Awesome Kong in TNA. Late last week conflicting stories surfaced online about her job status after Kharma appeared in the Alumni section of both the WWE’s website and their official twitter account….thingie. Kharma tweeted the following in response :

“Getting a flood of DMs. Guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

“Yes. I have officially been promoted to the alumni section of the WWE Roster.”

So what the hell does that mean? Well shit son, if the nameplate on my desk said journalist I could give you the real answer! Instead it says “Biologist Aide” and I have no freaking clue. Neither does the internet. Now, there’s been a lot of speculation but nothing I would call official confirmation. According to Dave Meltzer, the WWE was in the process of releasing her when they remembered that the WWE Universe pays attention to shit like this.

“Wrestling Observer editor Dave Meltzer addressed Satin's claim on the F4WOnline.com message forum and stated that WWE had planned to finalize her termination on Friday. However, he speculates the organization may switch course due to the news prematurely surfacing online—similarly to how they briefly reinstated Florida Championship Wrestling tapings in March to save face after news leaked prematurely that they were ending and because they weren't ready to announce the changes to NXT.

"I don't want to say anything, because it's WWE and they change their minds if stuff gets out," he wrote. "But she was to be released tomorrow, and they're pissed somebody screwed up and it got out a day early." Source: Rajah.com

And yet that was days ago. Here we are Sunday night and neither the WWE nor Kharma have given any further explanation. As of right now Kharma remains on the WWE Alumni page of their official website, in between Kevin Nash and King Kong Bundy. I find that oddly appropriate. However, she has retweeted several messages from fans that makes one wonder if the WWE isn’t just messing with our heads a bit.

From KarlieMildraed: We do not know what all happened. I wish Kharma peace.

From Noah Roberts: I hope Kharma stays in the WWEAlumni until she returns and beats the crap out of Barbie doll divas.

From Kharma herself: Thank you to all the offers pouring in. However, I am not taking bookings at this time. :)

Interpret that as you will. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I think the women of the WWE better watch out…..and Heath Slater too for that matter.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Nikki Bella, the one in the picture with the big-ass fake titties, just got herself some big-ass fake titties. This must be the first time in the history of the WWE that a woman got breast implants after their time in the company. Rajah.com

NXT is going to be running an 8-man tournament to crown a *gasp* NXT champion! The participants are as follows: Bo Dallas (Bo Rotundo), Richie Steamboat, Leo Kruger, Jinder Mahal, Seth Rollins, Drew McIntyre, Michael McGillicutty, and Justin Gabriel. Rajah.com I don’t think I’d be pissed if Leo Kruger or Jinder Mahal won, mostly because I’d be asleep before such an emotion could register.

Today I read the magazine Mentalfloss at lunch, which had a surprising statistic about the WWE and Wikipedia. As of their May/June 2011 issue, the page for the WWE Personnel List was the 2nd most edited Wikipedia page ever, meaning it had been edited more times than pages for controversial subjects like Adolph Hitler, Michael Jackson and Jesus. The only subject to have been edited more? George W. Bush, naturally.

…….Yes, I’m a dork.

As reported last week, one of the independent wrestling scene’s top female wrestlers, Sara Del Rey, has been signed by the WWE, but newly revealed is the WWE’s intent for her to train some of the other divas. Rajah.com First of all, great idea. Second, I would pay good money to watch Sara’s attempts to teach Alicia Fox to do anything without looking like a windmill falling over.

Dolph Ziggler and John Cena won their respective MITB briefcases last night. WWE.com Ziggler won his thanks to his year-long performance art piece “I am a human slinky” and Cena decided it was just time for another title-shot, brother.

I have no reason to put this picture of Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella here. I just thought it was cute.

And that’s the news. Tune in tonight to see what the WWE hopes will be their last two hour Raw ever.

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