The Royal Rumble has been and gone, and Batista is on his way to WrestleMania. The real story however, is how hard the crowd shat on the Rumble once it became clear Daniel Bryan wasn’t turning up. Has a crowd ever shat on something that much? I’d wager no. It’s pretty baffling, truth be told. What we have now is a WrestleMania main event that the vast majority of the crowd most likely will not care about. I half assume things will change, because WWE can’t be so deaf to their audience surely?
The Rumble was a decent show though, (read about it with Big Boss Man’s live report here) with Roman Reigns coming out as a huge star by breaking Kane’s eliminations record, Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan setting the bar pretty high for Match of the Year and much more. The Mania card started being set up as well, as the Wyatts attacked Cena, Sheamus returned and Corporate Kane eliminated CM Punk to further his squabble with the Authority. Many on social networks are calling it as a shambles, a rip off and whatnot. It was a decent show, with one great match, two non-descript matches and a decent Rumble. Two huge stars were made, and the crowd made it clear that Daniel Bryan is their only hero. And Alexander Rusev looked awesome.
There must be other news though right? Read on young Padowan.
Well, not yet. The immediate reaction to the Rumble on the Internet was one of disgust, and not many were angrier than the Hardcore Legend himself, Mick Foley. Prior to the show, he had threatened to throw a brick through his TV if Bryan didn’t win the Rumble. Obviously Bryan did not, and Foley took to the web to vent his frustrations. Rajah have it, and it makes for very interesting reading. Foley even does a swear at some point, something which is completely shocking. Much like every other human, Foley realizes that WWE quite obviously despise their audience. Here’s hoping they have something huge up their sleeve.
Big Show Has A New Reason To Cry
It would seem that the Brock Lesnar and Big Show match was as it was due to an injury picked up by Show at a house show over the weekend. Reported by WrestlingInc, Show is rumored to have injured his hand. This would make absolute perfect sense for what happened at the Rumble, as Lesnar dished out an unnecessary amount of chair shots to Show. It got a little ridiculous. As I don’t have Show on my Jack Daniels bet Mania card, this isn’t so bad for me. It sucks for Show though. But upon further inspection this is why that whole angle was bull-honkey.
He's Been Ill This Whole Time?!
Ironically, PWTorch are reporting that for the first time in his life, Brock Lesnar is healthy. Paul Heyman made an appearance on Mark Madden’s radio show, stating that the Beast Incarnate had blood work done which showed he had diverticulitis, but his body had managed to fight it off for a while. Because Brock Lesnar is a total freak. When I close my eyes at night to sleep, I pray to wake up as Brock Lesnar. It doesn't happen.
Hulk Hogan Is Going To Shatter Into Little Pieces
He may not have returned at the Rumble, but I think it’s fairly inevitable that we’ll see Hulk Hogan in a WWE ring by Mania time. Rajah are reporting that he’s not been cleared by WWE doctors to do anything physical though, not even have someone run into a bgi boot, so it’ll be interesting to see what role he takes on. I think most people and their dog assume it’ll be something with the Real Americans, but if he hits a leg drop and proceeds to shatter into a thousand pieces I’m not sure how the crowd would react. Probably with a little shock and a chant with an expletive.
Summer Rae Will Make Anything Interesting
Total Divas is returning for a second season, and WrestlingInc are claiming that Summer Rae will be showing up as a frequent character on the show. I’ve still not seen the show at all, but I assume it is the worst kind of hilarious. Summer Rae herself is one of the most entertaining divas on the roster at the moment, and any sort of enhanced profile for her can only be a good thing. It still doesn’t mean I’m going to watch it. Honest.
Vince Russo? TNA? Oh Sweet Lord.
In non-WWE news, Rajah is reporting that Vince Russo might be making a return to TNA in some form. Of course, it’s still steeped in rumor, but anything is possible in the whack-job world of Impact Wrestling. Russo is synonymous with some of the worst ideas in the history of professional wrestling, with his time in TNA previously being particularly goofy, what with the electrified steel cage matches and all that. Last week we saw how miserable the house show attendances are looking, and it seems that at least some in the company believe that rehiring Vince Russo might right this slide.
It really will not. TNA needs to go away so that the workers who make up the company can find liberation and freedom. I really don’t need to see Jesse vs. Robbie E in a Zema Ion On A Pole match. Vince Russo will not be TNA’s savior. We all know who the only true savior in professional wrestling is.
ILU, La Parka.
That’ll do for now. Raw tonight should be very interesting, as the season of pointing at the WrestleMania sign is now upon us. I’m on the twitter (@pingvinorkestra) if you fancy jawing it out.