Morning peoples. It’s St Patrick’s Day today, which is meaningless to me but quite exciting to hordes of folk in this country, all of whom will get extremely drunk this evening drinking Guinness. Heck, from where I sit typing this there is already one woman with an oversized Guinness hat on. So, if you’re Irish, have a great day, and if you aren’t have a fantastic one nonetheless. We’ve got some wrestling news to deal with first and foremost. Let’s get into it.

Sting was in these fair Isles recently, and Rajah has a solid report of his Q and A session in Camden (London). Judging from the quotes taken from aforementioned session, the Stinger is hell-bent on heading to WWE. He says that the only match left for him is against the Undertaker. It’s something that has been talked of for a few years now, with it frequently being cited as something of a dream match. Now, I’ve never actually heard anyone openly say they want to see it, but still. Sting in his prime against Undertaker now would be a pretty great Mania match, but Sting now? The same Sting who wrestles in a t-shirt? No thank you.

Sting also mentioned that he has barely watched TNA since leaving the company, something that goes without saying. I watched about 15 minutes of TNA last night, and that was enough. He also credits Scott Hall with coming up with his Crow gimmick and credits himself with bringing Bill Goldberg to WCW. Goldberg trained at the same gym as Sting and Lex Luger, and the rest is history. Finally, he said he didn’t enjoy working with Vampiro and wasn’t too hot on working with Robocop. Oh god, Robocop. His favorite opponent? Well, that’s a no brainer.

What else have we got? Well, Total Divas season 2 began yesterday, and according to everyone (Rajah) one of the main stories throughout the season will be how Nikki Bella copes now that she is on a break from her relationship with John Cena. Nikki herself confirmed this break whilst on the Arsenio Hall late night talk show recently. What is an Arsenio Hall? Anyway, Summer Rae is on this season of Total Divas. That certainly isn’t going to make me watch it, but there we go. If you do, all power to you.

Former WWE superstar Tyler Reks released a fitness book and website this weekend, according to Rajah. The book is entitled ‘Body Spartan: Genesis’ and is available for download in a number of formats. It’s essentially a look in to his fitness regime, inspired by talking about his physique on social media. Supposedly the book is pretty motivational, taking on the tagline ‘Change your physique…and your life’. Deep. As a 28 year old smoker who feels physically sick seeing other people run, I feel like this book may be wasted on me, but there we go. Oh, and Reks had dreadlocks, so I don’t know if I can trust him.

For those wondering where JTG and his myth-man-in-training Ezekial Jackson have been, wonder no more. The website that accompanies Reks' book was a collaboration between a number of folk, including the most un-sackable man on the WWE roster. Ethan Carter III/Derrick Bateman also helped out, and he’s pretty awesome. Oh, and Brian Cage, and he is ace. The website is, so head over there and change your physique. And your life. Or both. Or neither. Maybe.

CM Punk resurfaced on the ‘Talking Dead’ show last night, and as my last two Monday updates have led with Punk news I’m not going to go into this one. Needless to say, he said he felt refreshed. That’s ace.

This week in ‘Washed Up Former Wrestler Complains’ we have everyone’s 5th favorite member of Raven’s Flock, Scotty Riggs! Come on down Scotty! For those who aren’t familiar, Scotty Riggs was at his most interesting either wearing an eye patch or teaming with Buff Bagwell in the American Males. You could argue that Scotty Riggs is the Marty Jannetty of the American Males. That’s right, the Jannetty of a team including Buff freakin’ Bagwell. Anyway, in an interview with the Undisputed Wrestling Show (via WrestlingInc), Riggs ripped on John Cena, saying that he found Cena’s boring matches to be ‘sickening’. That seems a little over the top. Out of date milk is sickening. Moldy bread is sickening. Thinking of things that are sickening is sickening. Boring wrestling matches aren’t. Riggs goes on to say that Randy Orton hasn’t found his place yet. I despair.

Saying that, Riggs did have plenty of positives when it came to Perry Saturn, and as my first column on this beautiful website was Perry Saturn related I can’t be too hard on Riggs. Saturn for life!

That’ll do for now. I’ve got a noisy pop album to finish and a Slovenia to move to. Twitter me (@pingvinorkestra) or email me ( for more info on La Parka. Happy birthday Samoa Joe!