Finally…no FINALLY…The Internet Wrestling Community, (sadly known as the IWC) has blown their freaking gaskets.
Seriously. I can no longer sit idly by and watch you guys kill yourselves. It’s bad for your health. I’m here to cleanse you (not in a Hitler way. That’s not cool, bro).
During and after the Royal Rumble, as well as throughout Monday Night Raw, I was reading up on the comments, blogs, ideas, message boards about the reactions to the shows. The reactions blew me away. People were down right miserable. They hated everything that was happening. CM Punk losing, Rock winning (hell, Rock just being there), The Shield, Daniel Bryan, Miz, Cesaro, John Cena…the list goes on for miles.
If you read these same comments, you would assume that this year’s WrestleMania is the worst one of all time. Granted *technically* no matches are set in stone yet, and things can easily change, yet everyone seems up in arms about the potential set up.
Why does this potential WrestleMania card want you to throw things? Is it because a few part-time guys are on the card? Is it because there are a few matches we’ve seen in the past? Is the fact that Cena winning the Royal Rumble, or that he is headlining WrestleMania where he has a good shot to win another WWE Championship sending you into a nerd rage?
I’m not going to argue about the fact that watching something that you bitch about every week is completely insane…but I will attempt to show you why your worries and hatred are unwarranted.
Let’s look at the rumored card so far, and figure out where the anger lies:
Rock vs. Cena 2: Electric Boogaloo (WWE Title)
Del Rio vs. Orton (WCW Title)
Jericho vs. Ziggler/Ryback
Punk vs. Taker
Brock vs. HHH
We’ll start at the top; the holy grail of matches: Once in a lifetime…again. Rock/Cena is one of the, if not THE biggest draw in the wrestling business in over a decade, and they found a way to up the ante by inserting the title. Why is everyone upset by this? The Rock, one of the biggest stars ever, and a guy ALL OF US loved 10 to 15 years ago is back and has the championship. On the flip side, John Cena did nothing last year. Is he still a 3 move guy in the ring? Yes. That isn’t going to change. Neither is his huge star power. He’s this generation’s Hulk Hogan. However, unlike Hulkster, John Cena actually helped put people over last year. Hell he helped put over Johnny Laurinitis. The title being on a “part-timer” is not a big deal. The title doesn’t matter. What matters are the people involved. Rock and Cena can tell a fun story for the next two months, and I’m sure they will both find ways to make it seem fresh.
Next are Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton. Everyone is sour on Orton saying he has become boring. Well, if this rumored match happens, chances are that Orton goes heel again. Can we all just agree he’s better in that role? On top of that, Del Rio has made his transition to a face effortless. He’s effective. Seeing these two battle it out but on the other side of the coin can make this fresh and fun. Plus Orton always seems to bring it at WrestleMania. He and Del Rio could have a fun feud.
Now that Chris Jericho is back for the next few months, it is a question of who he will face. Will it continue his feud with Ziggler, or move onto someone…bigger, like Ryback. Obviously it’s a huge question because his character might go back to a heel if he faces Ryback. Is he a part-timer just like the Rock? Yes. But for you hardcore wrestling peeps, Jericho literally ENJOYS putting guys over. Both guys could use a bump. Jericho and Ziggler could be match of the year quality, while Jericho could probably carry Skip Sheffield to an above average match. Doesn’t matter either way; It’s Chris freaking Jericho – case closed.
The biggest question mark remains if Undertaker will for sure come back, and will he face The Best in the World. If Undertaker returns, like everyone ultimately expects, then we have a legit question on if the streak really would continue. The amount of matches and appearances that Undertaker has left for his storied career can probably be counted on two hands, so will he want to go out on top, or help launch someone’s career to legendary status by losing to them? On top of that, this storyline can write itself. Punk wants respect and needs to show he’s the best in the world, and he can get help from those by doing the impossible: Beating Taker at WrestleMania. It also should be brought up that in a lot of ways; Undertaker is who put Punk on the map by a lot of the mainstream fans. Their match and later feud early in Punk’s WWE career catapulted him up the card. Now, once again, Taker could help Punk’s status and give him a cherry on his amazing career’s sundae.
Finally, there is Triple H and Brock Lesnar. They had their feud last year, and it seemed that every time Triple H would get an upper hand, someone’s arm was getting snapped. We’ve seen this match before, but it’s time for Triple H to once again defend his inner circle. First it was HBK, then it was Stephanie, and now it’s good ol’ Vince. On the surface, this match might not be that appealing since we’ve seen it before, BUT, in the wake of the news that Brock has signed a 2-year extension…this is basically the finale of a feud before he starts another one. Triple H, like Taker, only has a few matches left, and he and Brock can deliver a quality match. Plus who knows what roles CM Punk, The Shield, Paul Heyman, Brad Maddox, or any of Triple H’s supporters could have. Triple H is a legend, and Lesnar is an athletic freak. I’m ready to see what Lesnar has up his sleeve, and where his career will go over the next 2 years.
I’m sure many of you could nitpick hundreds of reasons why each of these matches “are boring” or “taking away from someone more deserving” but just check yourself. Enjoy it. Stop worrying about who gets pushed or who doesn’t. If the story is good (which during WrestleMania season, they are usually above average), and the wrestlers are telling that same story in an effective way, who cares? The reason the Attitude Era worked so well was because we were invested in the storylines. Characters were written well. We had a conflict that would result in an actual resolution. We are witnessing some great matchups, by some great storytellers. Whether they are part-timers or not, stop worrying about who has what title, and just focus on the positives from the best 3 months of the entire year. If you negatively breakdown every matchup, you are just setting yourself up for more disappointments, and ultimately forcing yourself to not enjoy a product I know that we all love.
That’s it for this week. I love you all. If you hate me or things in general, make sure to leave glowing comments on the section down below. You can also tweet me suggestions, ideas, or hate messages. I read them all.
Don’t forget to check out Tuesday Headlines every…well…Tuesday, as Fozzie and me torture each other by having a conversation with one another about all things wrestling. We hurt ourselves for your enjoyment.
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Until next time kids, remember that if you shake it more than three times, the other guy in the stall should stop counting and watch his own freaking junk.