For those of you who don't frequent the WWE's homepage very often, I have to tell you you're missing out. Sure it's a lot of kayfabe writing and "WHERE ARE THEY NOW?" features (something that could have been resolved with a 20 second Google search), but every once in a while they'll put up a slide show of cute dogs dressed as wrestlers, and suddenly it's the greatest wrestling site in the world.
Well, with the recent Ultimate Warrior buzz stemming from his inclusion in WWE 2K14 the company has canceled it's "Ultimate Warrior is bad" philosophy, because ultimately everything is solved when giant bags with dollar signs on them are added to the scales. With the Warrior Ban now resolved, WWE.com has been spewing out Warrior-related material daily, and while most of the articles are pretty meh, their most recent photo gallery titled "Ultimate Warrior Like You've Never Seen Him Before" is a goddamn treat for the eyes and hearts of wrestling fans new and old.
I don't want to comment on all of them, but below are a few of the very best/strangest photos they released.
All images courtesy of WWE.com
Oh my God, can you imagine how this interview went? I'll be honest, the idea of it kind of broke my brain. I wanted to write an example, but it ended up as just a bunch of rambling about the stars aligning with Jupiter and Destrucity, and "Kathy Lee is drunk" jokes.
Point of interest: does he look naked to anyone else? I thinks it's because of the moobs.
I once called the WWF Hotline when I was a kid, and listened to a pre-recorded message from the Ultimate Warrior. I'd like to retcon my own past, and say that it wasn't a pre-recording, but instead THIS happened, over and over, for every call that came in.
It looks like Warrior ate Ravishing Rick Roode and absorbed none of his talent but all of his facial hair.
This is officially the most adorable picture the Ultimate Warrior has ever taken.
Remember when the Ninja Turtles had like "Surfer Mike" and "Astronaut Donatello"? Well this is the Safari equivalent.
He's wearing sneakers?! Nevermind, this is the cutest.
Nothing destroys the ambiance quite like watching the Warrior put on his mascara, does it?
"WARRIOR" directed by Francis Ford Coppola.
"Can you do a butterfly? I'd like a butterfly."
"I don't know what to do with my hands."
See the rest and less hilarious photos here.