Welcome to Commentfest, the beloved weekly collection of idiocy that is collected from the TJRwrestling facebook page. I’m your host of the week, Andy Staed (also known as the good one). The comments from the readers are in blue and green. I add in the comments in the brackets. Pretty easy to understand, right?
Without further ado, away…we…go!
I love commentfest, if its a bad Raw, this makes it a whole load more fun (Commentfest, making shitty RAWs mediocre since…some point.)
If Cena isn't going to be there, this will be a good Raw!!! (And so it begins)
Santino's unibrow wow I miss that (Really?)
I wonder if Raw will rebound in the ratings tonight *sees that Dallas and Chicago are on Monday Night Football* ..............nope.
Welcome to Commentfest. Where everything is made up and the points don't matter.
So it was John Cena, in the ring, with the lead pipe. Damn, I had Colonel Mustard.
I miss JBL already. can he not commentate via satellite from on top of a mountain? (That’s Dwayne’s gimmick)
I have the Hiccups...maybe Ryback can scare them out of me... (With the prospect of him having a match longer than 2 minutes)
Raw's in Oklahoma. "Well Shit"-Jim Ross
You know what I hate? The fact that everyone thinks that Punk HAS to beat Cena at HIAC to solidify his reign, or whatever the junk is that they are trying to get us to buy, but Punk has beaten Cena almost every time they have fought. It makes no god damned sense at all.
Paul Heyman for RAW GM!!!!
ITS THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE! Vickie vs Paul. (Fozzie can’t participate)
Yes! Yes! Yes! DBry is the tag team champions!
Twirling his beard...He. Is. Amazing.
This is getting dumb.
Commentfest is clearly the tag team champions. Freebird rules!!!
A world championship debate............................fuck you, Vince.
A Championship debate? This is going to be one of those "filler" shows, isn't it?
Nice of them to give us an extra toilet break this week with that World Championship Debate (Almost like a Pay-Per-View is on Sunday)
oh PLEASE not a debate... can we have a rematch of Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco Evening Gown Match from KOTR 2000 instead?
I would rather watch Melina vs Alicia Fox in a 1 hour Ironman match than a world championship debate.
WWE has enough teams for a tournament. Are we all dead or something because I never thought I'd live to see the day when WWE had more than 2 tag teams again.
I was wondering, since cena is out for a few weeks, couldn't they just get darren young to trim his hair and say cena went on a quick vacation and got a really good tan?
I just hope that the debate isn't like those backstage segments in TNA when Hogan has the guys talk about why they deserve to fight for whatever title is deemed important that week.
Did..did Michael Cole just correct JR? What the shit Bizarro land are we living in? (Also, tag teams.)
For the record, I don't miss King or Cena. I hope they both get well, but stay the hell off the show for as long as possible.
I wonder what stupid thing Sheamus will say this week... (Fella)
Sheamus current direction makes me embarrassed to be Irish. He is a total douche who fails to be funny and comes across as mildly offensive and racist. (Only mildly?)
Brodus Clay still exists? .... Why?
How do you say this "five languages gimmick is slowly getting tired" in five languages (In English, “zzzzzzzzzzz.”
Wow! Ceasaro is awesome! Now if only he could dance...
Oh great, another Brodus Clay squash match...Wait Clay lost a squash match? To a guy with a mid-card title? Did I miss something? AM I dead? What the hell is this glorious feeling I have? Sat-is-fac-tion? hmmm. (Also, tag teams. And you’re funny, Fozzie! Oh, wait, no, still not that one)
AJ is unstable "at times" JR? I hear that the surface of the sun is "a little warm" too.
Larry King is still alive?
Larry King is the social media ambassador? does that old bastard even know how to use a cell phone?
Oh my God, Larry. You can't just ask people why they remain so white!!
Larry King thought that was the corpse of Katie Vick!!
Miz vs Ryback. When will it happen? (last week)
So let's see: watch stupid wrestling debate or watch football game? Sorry, Vince, you lose.
Wait wait wait Linda McMahon dodged debates but they have one on Raw?
My name is Sheamus...and I love to fight
Show, you had my vote at "this is pointless".
Seriously, if I was booking this show and some writer suggested a debate, I would suggest he pack his things and be out of the building by close of business that day.
We want wrestling, clap clap clap clap
Sheamus should never be confused w/ a funny guy. (Much like Fozzie)
oh god no. not a tout
They should debate how to keep jobs in the US because that podium was clearly made in China.
Cheap furniture, Touts, and bad "comedy". Can I please get that ten minutes of my life back?
If Ryback is so hungry, can't someone just buy him a pizza or something?
The crowd: "do we chant Goldberg or Albert???"
Ryback, hunting Norse Gods, climbs to the top of the mountain and yells "Feed...Me.... Thor!!!!" (Terrible puns always make it in.)
Feed me s'mores! (See?)
Rhodes Scholars have saved Raw! Hopefully in the future they can save us from tractor pulls and The Jersey Shore! (One down, one to go.)
I don't wear pants when I debate either, Sandow. Well just long mass debates. (Fozzie is a master debator.)
I heard Ryback bought that clothesline finisher from Virgil at the local Macy's
Larry King: "This Eve woman looks like my future 8th wife." (Larry “The King” Lawler?)
Divas match. Back to football.
The best thing about jr being on is he references the past which is great but must make vince nervous
JBL = awesome
Wait, Slater, Mahal and McIntyre brought back the JOB squad?
now if they can just get steve blackman out of retirement
Is Heath Slater trying to reform the Village People? (They should be working at the YMCA)
I’m just glad to see Drew McIntyre back on tv
What brought them together? They don't have shit else to do.
Sandow is from California? I am now doubting how he can be smart....
The easiest way to get in Commentfest is to say not to print something. (Don't print that) (Wait, what?)
Props to both Sandow and Sheamus on a fantastic match!
"Valedictorian-like toughness" JR, I love you man, but... what the fuck does that even mean? (Don’t question the JR!)
They can't be mean to Jr. Remember don't be a bully be a star. (Like Sheamus…I mean, John Cena…I mean, Randy Orton…er…)
I hear voices in my head. They'd rather I be a heel instead. They talk to me.
Let’s hope this stays dignified. Punk interrupts with Heyman?Any takers? (Winner)
"How emotion are you tonight?" Hey Cole, How good English is you?
Ryback would probably save him. (Either we’re smart, or…nope, WWE is just predictable.)
Does Ryback or Stone Cold save JR? I'm picking Kelly Kelly.
He knocked JR's hat off. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!!!!!
Punk's right. Punk's 100% right. Boo him all you want, the Thunder aren't playing the Heat next month for another shot at the NBA title. They have to earn it. 100% fucking right. (It’s almost like it’s scripted!)
The straight-edge superstar vs the hgh superstar.
quick someone get tensai out there to lay in front of punk because we know ryback can't pick him up
Ryback: Feed Me JR's BBQ sauce!! (Reminds me of the Kane Chef Boyardee commercial)
Hey I was watching football. Can I just assume that CM Punk demanded respect and called himself the best in the world for 10 minutes? Just a hunch.
Ryback is the future, a future performance enhancing drug suspension that is.
Face Cole is much more tolerable than heel Cole.
did jr reshape his hat or does he have a spare?
Punk ALREADY earned that distinction. What was that whole Jericho storyline for? (Filling time)
This show has been kind of boring. Well, at least there hasn't been a crappy Cena promo.
Maybe Kane and DBry could take turns being the tag team champions. (Sharing is caring)
AJ is wearing Shawn Michaels' referee outfit. I think it looks better on her. (Agree to disagree)
The only person who could actually hold their own with Ziggler in the ring is Starman from Nintendo Pro Wrestling... (AKI Man/Star Man/Ziggler triple threat to headline Wrestlemania)
I love how Cole keeps trying to pretend the crowd is trolling Bryan when they're really behind him 100%. Just turn him fully face already and stop playing.
When was the last time a tag champion beat the WWE champion?
I think Gerald is the tag team champions.
That's it for comments? Did people get blocked out because it was a photo or just low interest?
Well that's all the time we have for you tonight Cantonia. I can say that I have converted to being a "Paul Heyman guy". Tonight we saw a hand full of useless matches but we did see a good tag team main event and a 4 star Sandow/Sheamus match. CM Punk is God should be trending on twitter. F*ck Fear. Well my followers I must adjourn for the night, had way too much fun at the Pants Party. From here at the KVWN-TV Channel 4 Evening News we thank you for commenting, and remember don't punt Baxter, don't touch mah hair, don't wear Brian Fantana's Sex Panther, and you all are invited to the epic pool party at mi casa here in San Diego. You stay classy Cantonia, I'm John Burgundy. Till next week.
And that’s all she wrote for the week. To join in on the fun be sure to visit the TJRwrestling facebook page now!
Tune in next week when Marc “Fozzie” B dumbs it back down for you. Hope you enjoyed, and as always, let me know what you thought in the comments section or on facebook, twitter or Tumblr.