This past Sunday, all seven of the Total Divas wrestled on the same tag team for an elimination match at Survivor Series. How they performed was fairly indicative of how WWE views them and what they can do for the company in the future. Ariane (as Cameron) and Eva Marie were eliminated quickly, but Jojo actually got a big story in the match going against her amazon-like opponent, Tamina Snuka. Jojo is actually pretty talented in the ring, especially for a 19-year-old. I think Jojo has that certain special something that could give her a future in WWE.
So why the heck has she not had a single storyline on this show since it came back on the air?
While we ponder one of life’s great mysteries, this week on Total Divas focused on four divas (Nikki, Brie, Ariane and Nattie) and the issues they’re having with their mans.
Nikki spent the entire episode pondering whether or not to sign John Cena’s co-habitation agreement. The voice of reason ended up being her mother’s, as she explained that John has a legal team set up to take care of him, and he also just recently got divorced and was trying to take care of himself. Nikki eventually met John out for dinner, and Cena actually dropped a pretty big bombshell: that he was also supporting his family by buying his mother a house and taking care of his younger brother’s medical bills. It showed a sign of Cena that was genuine and not as manufactured as his rah-rah gym teacher speech promos. They kissed and made up.
Brie spent the entire episode dealing with Bryan Danielson’s newfound success, and Bryan constantly leaving her to do interviews and appearances. The voice of reason ended up being her sister’s, as Nikki reminded Brie of a time where Bryan could barely get on television and Brie was the Diva’s Champion, and Bryan supported her, and she can’t take it now that the roles were reversed. Brie eventually apologized to Bryan while letting it be known that she’s needy and wants attention from him. They kissed and made up.
Ariane spent the entire episode afraid of sex with her boyfriend Vinny because of how painful it was. The voice of reason ended up being her sex therapist, who convinced Ariane and Vinny to try new things and see what turns Ariane on. Vinny was actually pretty charming in this episode, which is a complete 180 from how he’s normally portrayed on the show: drunk and annoying. Vinny went out and brought home some sex toys. They kissed (and did other things) and made up.
Nattie spent the entire episode jealous of the fact that her husband TJ was training with Eva Marie. The voice of reason ended up being Eva Mar…err, no. Not her. Never her. It ended up being TJ, who called Nattie out on her insane behavior and said that he was just helping out a coworker who idolized Nattie and wanted to be as good of a wrestler as her. They kissed and made up.
So we end the episode exactly the same way we started. All four couples are in love and happy with each other and everything’s fine.
Why the hell am I watching this show again?