Total Divas Review: 9/1/2013
Before I begin this week's recap, I'd like to talk about AJ's promo on the Total Divas last week on Raw. Since the show started, WWE did this weird thing where it separated the Divas into two separate divisions. You had the Total Divas, which consisted of the seven characters on the show, and the "other" Divas like AJ, Kaitlyn, and Layla. For a while, they stayed away from each other. AJ and Kaitlyn had their feud, and the Bellas and the Funkadactyls had theirs. Considering there are only 10 divas (and only six of them actually wrestle), it just made sense to combine them all. AJ will defend the Divas Championship at Night of Champions against Brie Bella, Naomi (Trinity), and Natalya (Nattie), and I would not be surprised to see her drop the belt considering how happy WWE is with the success of the show. Nevermind the fact that when AJ put down the Total Divas, she was cheered like a conquering hero.
I'm here this week to talk about the worst part of the show. Yes, I've been very hard on Eva Marie and Ariane especially over the past few weeks, but this character is the lowest of the low.
It's Ariane's boyfriend, Vincent. Or Victor. Whatever, I don't want to know his name. He's terrible.
Here's all you need to know about Vincent.
- In the first episode, he threatened to fight Brodus Clay, a 400 pound former bodyguard for Snoop Dogg.
- He nicknamed Ariane's breast implants.
- He's got a sleazy accent.
- I'm pretty sure he's over 40. Ariane mentioned in the episode she dated a 40 year old when she was 20 so I wouldn't put it past her to be robbing the grave again.
- He's just generally an awful person.
Vincent weaseled his way to the girls' Vegas bachelorette party for Nattie in which only WWE talent were allowed (shocking how he managed to get there). I'm sure the producers told Vincenzo that he has to be as annoying as possible to get the gang to look at him strangely. He came into Ariane's room like a house afire, and I'm fairly sure he was on coke. He was bouncing off the walls. At dinner, he generally acted like a jackass, and at the club, he drank too much and bragged about "buzzin" to Ariane's coworkers.
I don't know if being around somebody as sleazy as Vincent makes me like Ariane more or less. Probably the latter.
Elsewhere, Nattie is having dreams of Jaret, Brie got drunk, and Daniel Bryan put her in her place the next morning with the best hangover cure I've ever seen.
That's why this man is the best in the world.
JoJo finally learned what it's like to be played at the ripe old age of 19 as she caught feelings for 31-year-old Justin Gabriel, who made out with her, ended up going home with another girl, and then laid a guilt trip on JoJo about being too young. And that's how it's done, ladies and gents.
Abbreviated review this week. Blame it on Labor Day Weekend and there not being much to talk about on this episode. Next week's mid-season finale (phew) looks promising with some tension between Eva Marie and JoJo.
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