Good morning Humanoids! This is Lonestar LeZeus’s crazy sex drive and these are today’s top stories.
Actually scratch that, I don’t really have a top story. What I do have is a series of observations you may find useful. Over the past few days and weeks, more and more news stories have hit that seem to indict two things. First, that the WWE is a thriving and evolving company that, despite boring and frustrating its more vocal fans, continues to make smart business decisions. Like the apparently amazing new training facility officially opening in Orlando this week, or the plethora of talented independent wrestlers they have signed over the past two years. On the other side of the coin, so many of the other, smaller wrestling promotions trying to carve out a decent life from the WWE’s scraps seem to suffering through some serious hardships lately. Let’s take a quick look.
TNA- Left their long time home at Universal Studios suspiciously close to when rumors started to appear about the WWE having some sort of attraction at the theme park. Just released a bunch of talent for budgetary reasons, many of whom were tied to a particular segment of the show, therefore devaluing said segment immensely. Supposedly not paying certain people on time. Average age of main eventer approaching the average age of a CBS viewer.
ROH- Sucked so much at the technical aspect of iPPV that they stopped doing them. Currently having trouble keeping their top talent (Briscoe brothers, Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards). That whole not having the world champ under contract thing.
Chikara- May or may not exist at the moment. Could be running the mother of all storylines. Definitely isn’t running shows. Sucks for the talent that was usually booked there.
NOAH- Money problems forced the exit (and retirement) of a Japanese wrestling legend, which led to an exodus of talent to another company.
All-Japan Pro-wrestling- Owner that doesn’t understand pro-wrestling and wants to eliminate pre-planned finishes. No, really. Clashes between ownership and Japanese wrestling legend caused exit of legend and exodus of talent to other companies.
So yeah. That’s the second and third biggest Japanese wrestling company and the second, third and whatever Chikara was American Indy, all dealing with some pretty serious issues. It’s kind of sad, especially for the men and women busting their asses out there for little pay. But as the number of viable promotions on the Indy scene shrinks, the WWE grows more accessible by the day, which I guess is my awkward segue to some pictures of former indy darlings enjoying their recent WWE tour to Japan.
IN OTHER NEWS:
The Wyatt Family made their debut last night on Raw. For those of you unfamiliar with the Wyatt Family and wondering just where these three hicks came from, the tall dude with the black hair, Luke Harper, worked the American Indy scene as Brodie Lee. The red-head is Eric Rowan. He’s pretty good at wearing a mask. Wyatt himself is the son of IRS and was formerly known as Husky Harris. There, I told you. Now you NEVER HAVE TO F**KING MENTION IT AGAIN, YOU *********F**KING A**HOLES!!!!
Sit down, enjoy the show, and shut the f**k up once in a while. If you have to chant something, try this on for size. “Everybody knows, nobody cares.” Keep it to yourself and repeat as f**king necessary.
Where was I? Right, former WWE diva Maria made this pretty clear last night.
I was offered a @wwe contract and the Bellas made sure I didn't get it. I'm not bitter. I just don't like people that mess with my career.— Maria Kanellis (@MariaLKanellis) July 9, 2013
I had a situation like this happen to me once, only it involved more fecal matter and decidedly fewer part-time models.
Vickie Guerrero was “fired” from her GM role on raw last night and replaced by Brad Maddox. I suspect this decision was based entirely on how good Brad Maddox’s ass looks in pants.
The WWE has finally responded to allegations of sexual harassment at NXT. This is their statement on the situation.
"There have been no sexual harassment complaints filed against any employee at the WWE’s training facility in Orlando. Instead there have been baseless allegations made by disgruntled talent recently released by WWE. Regardless, WWE takes these issues seriously and investigated this matter, concluding that there was no wrongdoing."
And that’s the news! Enjoy your week, enjoy wrestling.