Good morning Humanoids! My name is Lonestar Crosby and here are today’s top stories.

The big news coming out of Raw this week is the removal of Dolph Ziggler from the Extreme Rules PPV because of the concussion he sustained during last Tuesday’s Smackdown taping. With Extreme Rules coming up this Sunday the WWE is taking no chances with their champion and has turned what was a triple threat ladder match into a #1 contender’s match between Alberto Del Rio and Mr. Concussion Kick himself, Jack Swagger. Except it’ll be an “I Quit” match. This change would be a bigger deal if the match wasn’t already only the third most important bout on the card.

Also newly scheduled for the PPV is a US Title match between Kofi Kingston and Dean Ambrose, a Mania-rematch between Fandango and Chris Jericho and a tornado tag match between Team Hell No and the Shield (Rollins and Reigns), for the Tag Team Championships. Just added to the pre-show is a match between the Miz and Cody Rhodes, proving once again that no one will pay to watch the Miz do anything.


As our own Fozzie Wozzie covered this weekend, Christy Hemme announced the wrong team on last week’s episode of Impact Wrestling and Austin Aries responded like a mature adult and stuck his junk in Hemme’s face.

Something tells me Aries has a better grasp on technical wrestling than he does on what constitutes sexual harassment.

In an interview with Wrestling 101, Bob Holly had this to say about working with Brock Lesnar:

"Let me clear something up, people write stupid s--t on the internet all the time saying me and Brock didn't get along, me and him got along just fine and we worked well together. I did break my neck during a match with Brock but he called me all the time whilst I was in the hospital checking up on me. People say that he did it on purpose and I got what I deserved, let me tell you something no one deserves to get a broken neck number one, and he didn't do it on purpose!"

So there ya go, straight from the jackasses mouth.

And that, believe it or not, is the news. Have a great week, I'm going back to sleep.