Good morning Humanoids! I’m Lonestar Stewart Smalley and these are today’s top stories.

Ring of Honor had one of those new-fangled Internet-PPVs this weekend and, as per ROH tradition, had some problems with the live feed, meaning diehard wrestling nerds fans paid good money for a crappy wrestling experience. And that was even before (enter name of wrestler you don’t like here) wrestled.

Oh snap, we just burned him bad didn’t we? Hoh hoh!

Anyway, Ring of Honor released a statement via their facebook page outlining their PPV strategy going forward.

To our fans,

This past weekend at “Best in the World” in Baltimore, MD , Ring of Honor proved once again from top to bottom why our talent is truly the best in wrestling today. Unfortunately, there were some issues with the live iPPV stream that wound up distracting from the energy and action in ring. For this, we sincerely apologize to all fans that encountered problems.

Because of how much we value the support of our fans, and understand the imperfections of the live streaming technology, “Best in the World” will be the last iPPV stream that we will be broadcasting live. All future main event shows will now be offered as a Video On Demand, which will allow Ring of Honor to present a flawless show and truly depict the excellence of our product.

From now on, fans can watch ROH Wrestling on TV, VOD, or DVD, however there is still nothing like seeing Ring of Honor in person. We thank you for your continued support and are excited to be moving forward.

-Ring of Honor Wrestling

Raise your hand if you assume the Ring of Honor fans on facebook did not respond to this well? Alright, hands down, you were correct. At the time of my writing this column the above facebook post had 126 comments, most of them either from angry fans with apparent years of business and television production experience or people telling the angry fans to simmer the heck down.

Now, my personal, uninformed and totally uninvested opinion is that video-on-demand will probably serve ROH’s purposes a lot better than iPPV was able to, for a couple simple reasons.

1. ROH’s iPPV service has screwed up, I dunno, three or four times since it started.  Why continue something that’s obviously not working properly, even after the company increased its server capabilities?

2. Hey, remember those increases in server capabilities? And any kind of refunds given to fans who wasted their money on a faulty product? Yeah, those sorts of things cost money. Ring of Honor is a business trying to stay afloat on the stormy sea that is the American independent wrestling scene. So if the revenue from PPV orders isn’t returning their investment, and it sounds like with all the shenanigans it probably isn’t, why continue down that path? Why not go with a cheaper but still internet friendly alternative? Some fans have said “Going VOD isn’t progress.” Well, neither is going out of business. Just ask ECW.


For the next WWE video game, WWE 2K14, there will be a contest in which rasslin’ game enthusiasts can work their inner artist by designing the cover and choosing the WWE superstar to put on it. Of course this is for the inside cover only. The Rock automatically gets top billing, in what might be the most appropriate metaphor for the modern WWE I’ve ever heard.

Did anybody else mention Matt Striker was released? Cause Matt Striker was totally released. Somewhere in sports-world Todd Grisham is totally still gainfully employed.

John Cena seems to be hawking Capri Sun now. With fruity pebbles already under his wing, he’ll just need Lunchables and McDonald’s to be an omnipresent nutritional influence on lazy children.

By the way, this happened:

And after this week’s Raw you can add Ryback vs Chris Jericho, Del Rio vs Ziggler, and the Shield vs the Usos to the next PPV. The MITB match will feature RVD, Christian, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Kane, and Randy Orton. Because f**k even numbers.

And that’s the news. I’d like to thank Cewsh for answering my random ROH question and all of you for reading. But not Joffrey. Never Joffrey.