Hey WWE contracted FCW stars, I have some good news and some bad news ---The good news is that your developmental promotion isn't shutting down (despite claims yesterday morning that it was) and you're not going to have to go through the stressful process of moving. The bad news is, your promotion isn't located in a place where the only alligators you'd ever come in contact with would be on polo shirts.<!--more-->From Wrestling Inc.
All FCW events currently scheduled for this coming weekend will go on as planned. FCW President Steve Keirn is denying the rumors of FCW shutting down. All talents are at school today and as of this writing, no official announcement has been made.PWInsider just updated their story and reports that sources within WWE state there are no plans to shutdown WWE's developmental territory Florida Championship Wrestling. The show on the Brighthouse Network is scheduled to end however.
I understand that moving is a hassle and nobody wants to do it, but really they'd be better off getting out of Florida. Sure it's sunny, the home of Disney World, and has a lot of beaches, but those beaches are full of smelly bums, Disney is full of smelly kids, and that sunlight is full of cancer. The state is also a hot-spot for hurricanes (both natural and collegiate), not to mention that it's basically an industrialized swamp. Also, it is the home of blood sucking bugs, corrupt politicians, racist police officers, old people (who are everywhere
), fire ants, one of the highest costs of living despite having one of the highest unemployment rates in the country, and the f**king Miami Dolphins.So why not ditch that dump for somewhere less goddamn terrible? Instead of being chased in the streets by gators (I assume) the WWE developmental talent could be in a place like Stamford where everyone is rich (I assume) and can busy themselves with sailing lessons and wine tasting events. Enjoy a glass of port on a schooner, but make sure you don't spill it on your new members only club sweater vest old chap! Chip chip cheerio, and what what!
In Other News...
Matt Bloom aka Prince Albert aka Albert aka A-Train aka Giant Bernard is apparently going to be "pushed to the top" after he makes his WWE return as John Laurinaitis's bodyguard. It's funny what qualifies as being "the top" these days. (NoDq)
Follow Me On Twitter because for every follow I have, I will donate $1 to charity. Well, not me, but someone will. Maybe. I'm not made of money, you know. (Twitter)
WWE Officials apparently weren't aware of Shane Douglas's attempt to get on television until they read about it online. I guess Shane never read that old fable about the grasshopper that tried to get on a nationally televised event by unmasking himself in embarrassing fashion, only to be escorted quickly and quietly away by security, and then beaten to death with crowbars in an alley behind the arena. Well, he might once I finish it. (Lords Of Pain)
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