After a lengthy relationship, Linda Hogan and her mid-life crisis have split up. I think she realized that, if they got married, he’d get half of her stuff in the divorce, which was like 70% of Hulk’s stuff, so that leaves her with…I dunno, Scott Steiner is better at math than I am.

From Fox News:

"After almost four years together and a two-year engagement, Linda Hogan and her much younger partner, Charlie Hill, have parted ways.

'There was a lot of therapy involved, and the couple realized they needed to do their own thing,' Linda's attorney Raymond Rafool told FOX411's Pop Tarts column. 'The realization came this weekend. But it was a mutual decision, and a whole new chapter for both of them.

The relationship was shrouded in controversy when it was first formed in 2008 around the time Linda's son with ex husband Hulk Hogan, Nick, served a eight-month jail sentence over a driving accident that gravely injured his passenger. Linda was 48 at the time, while Hill was 19, and a school acquaintance of daughter Brooke Hogan.

The couple recently appeared on VH1's show, Couple's Therapy, where celebrity couples attempt to salvage their relationships."

LOL. I hate to poke fun at other people’s relationship issues, but after a weekend of hearing how broken up John Cena is, I think it’s funny that the Hogans couldn’t handle being out of the “relationship issues” headlines. It’s just too bad for Linda’s attorney (who is apparently also representing Cena’s wife), who you know had the biggest boner for the entirety of this couple’s two-year engagement. Was this the biggest news from the last couple of days? Probably not, but it made me laugh, so you’re welcome.

In other news...

Speaking of the Hogan family, the Hulkster himself is taking part in a “Memorial Day VIP Bash” during the Impact tapings in a couple weeks, where fans can pay $100 to meet Hogan and they get to sit down faster. In other words, TNA wants to take advantage of unwitting Universal vacationers over the holiday who still think “Hulk Hogan” is a thing. (PWTorch)

The Miz, star of WWE’s upcoming film The Marine 3: Shit, We Were Hoping for Randy Orton, did an interview with a Pittsburgh radio show where, according to the person who transcribed it, he sounded like the world’s biggest doofus going through a serious career crisis. "I'm doing a movie [The Marine: Shit, We Were Hoping for Randy Orton]. I'm huge. I'm going to be a huge movie star. I'm the most must-see WWE superstar, I'm a huge movie star. I mean, it's going to be the whole chi-bang." I didn’t listen to the interview, but good grief. Also, Miz, I think the Chi-bang happens in a different type of movie. (Lords of Pain)

Former WWE Superstar, announcer, and Minnesota Governor Jesse “The Body/Mind/whatevs” Ventura is releasing a new book next month called Democrips and ReBloodlicans: No More Gangs in the Government. I only bring this up because the title is stupid and deserves ridicule. (PWTorch)

Konnan is irritated with WWE…not that that’s newsworthy. He believes that WWE is selective in their Wellness Policy violations. Maybe that’s true, but I’m pretty sure Rey Mysterio doesn’t need K-Dawg fighting his battles for him, lovehandles or not. (Lords of Pain)

Wrapping it up on a couple of positive notes, WWE is using the ticket and merchandise sales from the NXT tapings to establish scholarships for students at Full Sail University. This is pretty cool, because it really creates a mutually beneficial relationship between WWE and the University, and because now we get to see Full Sail University commercials on Raw for the next two years. (WWE Corporate)

Finally, Barbershop Window, a site that specializes in mostly non-lame wrestling T-shirts is selling a Kamala tribute shirt to help James Harris pay his medical bills. Kamala is John’s favorite wrestler, so go buy this shirt while you still can. (It’s unavailable after tomorrow.) Also check out some of their other shirts in the Overstock Bin, because some of them are pretty cool.

That’s all for today. I filled in for Andrew today because he’s riding Space Mountain (the real one, not Ric Flair’s penis) and drinking so much butterbeer at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter that my stomach hurts. I’ll be back tomorrow with Disasterpiece Theatre. Until then, I dunno, enjoy your breakfast.

-Jacob

Follow me on Twitter: @chacobian