I don’t mean that in the figurative sense, in the way that Mick Foley or Mark Henry or Kaitlyn look like they could give really great hugs…ok, maybe Kaitlyn doesn’t fit in with those other two, but I still bet she gives great hugs. That is now my life’s goal…to get a hug from Kaitlyn.

No, I mean this.

From Hollywood Reporter:

Movie ideas and projects come in many forms. A script, a life story, a sentence on a napkin.

Now New Line has bought one based on an illustration, and it comes with Dwayne Johnson attached to produce and potentially star and Beau Flynn on board to produce.

The picture in question was drawn by Alex Panagopoulos, a Greek software engineer turned fantasy artist. It features a little girl asleep in bed while a small brown teddy bear -- brandishing a laughably small wooden sword and shield -- holds an enormous, fanged monster at bay. And in the fashion of a motivational poster, a caption reads “Teddy Bears: Protecting innocent children from monsters under the bed since 1902." (The teddy bear was invented in 1902 by Morris Michtom, who was inspired by a political cartoon featuring President Theodore Roosevelt and a bear he refused to shoot.)

Hiram Garcia, a former assistant to Johnson, found the illustration and brought it to Flynn’s FlynnPictureCo and New Line. The company, Flynn and Johnson together made the 2012 family adventure movie Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; Garcia was an associate producer on the film, which made nearly $328 million worldwide.

Johnson, Flynn and Garcia will produce what is tentatively called Teddy Bear. Michael Disco and Sam Brown will oversee for New Line; Adam Yoelin is shepherding for FlynnPictureCo.

No writer is attached and the story’s take is being kept secret, but New Line is hoping to launch a big four-quadrant franchise. They no doubt were emboldened by the megahit bear comedy Ted, which made more than $500 million worldwide for Universal last summer -- this project will be much different in tone.

Johnson has a big year ahead of him. The actor formerly known as The Rock next stars in Snitch from Summit, followed by the spring releases G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain. The former pro wrestler also has The Fast and The Furious 6 this summer.

Sigh. Essentially, in order to capitalize on the success of one awful movie about a teddy bear, The Rock is producing another one, and that means teddy bears are gonna be the next zombies/vampires/superheroes/boy bands, and I am not excited about it. I’m not sure if The Rock would star as the bear or the child star’s Tough Dad who says there’s nothing to be afraid of, but ends up being really scared of the dragonmonster, or whatever. What’s interesting, though, is that this guy who said his wrestling opponent has an imaginary scrotum (because…I don’t know) is still doing family movies. Because what family doesn’t love penis jokes and dudes who hate women?

In other news…

Speaking of The Rock, he was kind enough to give us an update on his condition, via Twitter, following the attack by The Shield on Monday’s RAW. Apparently he figured out how to tear a blood vessel? And his lungs are bleeding. (Ugh.)

 

“Superstar” Billy Graham is out of the hospital and ready to write more letters to current wrestlers about how they need to be more respectful and stay out of his flower beds. But srsly, I’m glad he’s ok. (411mania)

Paul Heyman recently did an interview with the US Airways Center, where he talks about a lot of things and promotes CM Punk’s match with The Rock. It’s a decent interview, and it does a good job of showing how good of a promoter Heyman is. And he doesn’t mention The Rock calling him “slinky tits,” because he’s an intelligent human being and The Rock is a child. (US Airways Center)

If you want to read an article about a guy who’s not really a wrestling fan getting a free seat to RAW’s 20th anniversary (or birthday or whatever) show, here it is, I guess. (Houston Press)

Stephanie McMahon was listed as one of Advertising Age’s “40 under 40” for her achievements within WWE. I clicked the link because the “headline” on some copy/paste site read, “WHY DID THE BRAND EXTENSION END EXCLUSIVE OMG.” The answer is not here, but she does say that people can use technology to be wrestling fans. So that’s good. (AdAge)

And that’s all for me this week.

Yo Gabba Gabba, y’all!

-Jacob (@chacobian)