Welcome to this week’s review of TNA Impact wrestling. This is the first episode post-Hogan, and I can’t wait to see how this show flows. I’m actually somewhat excited. Ooh, and bonus for you guys, my old Headlines buddy Mike Aires was at the show, and he sent me some pics, which I will share with you. I also have one of him that I capped off my TV. Let’s just get on with this show, shall we?
After the narration, which my DVR missed most of, TNA president Dixie Carter comes to the ring. Last week in the comments section, I had a couple of people point out that Dixie likes to where flowing shirts that look like curtains or bed sheets, and they wondered if she actually had anything form fitting. Well, it looks like Dixie reads TJR’s comment section, because here she is wearing a tight dress and hooker boots. Looking good, Dixie. Anyway, she goes on a tangent about Hogan, refusing to say his name on TV like he was some sort of rabid Wolverine, and starts saying how she never needed a washed up, selfish,, non-team player like Hogan. Umm, I thought heels lied. She says that she doesn’t need any Vince (Russo? McMahon?), a washed up Eric Bischoff, a Mr. Stephanie Levesque, because she is the best this business has to offer. Okay, there’s the lying. She also says she doesn’t need the Jarretts either. She’s saying everything I’ve ever thought.
Dixie changes the subject to AJ Styles, and says that last week, AJ was asked to leave and he snuck back in. By the way, Dixie handles the heat directed at her by pretending they are booing AJ Style’s actions. Awesome. She says that she has cleared AJ with security, and he’s allowed back in the building this week, and she allowing Bully Ray to book AJ in any type of match tonight. Then she is interrupted by Sting. Woo?
To make a long segment shorter, Dixie blames Sting for bringing Hogan in, and chastises him for making a match for BFG with Magnus. She punishes him by saying that he has to team with Magnus against Bad Influence, and if either Sting or Magnus is pinned, then their match at BFG is off. Sting is pissed, and Dixie leaves the ring. I know Dixie stumbles a lot, but man, her bitch character is awesome. I am a fan.
Backstage, Awesome Aries talks about his match next with Jeff Hardy. He also runs down Hardy saying that he doesn’t need the high wire spectacles like Jeff, that Aries is a professional wrestler. Nice. He then dismisses the camera guy.
After a commercial, AJ is seen entering the arena. He says that Dixie is going to pay for her actions after he wins the title at BFG. Then we have our first match.
Match 1: Jeff hardy vs. Awesome Aries
This is a great way to start this show. Two guys who work their asses off, especially against each other, is always fun to watch. The story was that Aries was pissed off by making the X-Division title match and Ultimate X match. Hey, whatever. They have a really good match, which Aries wins with a sick top rope Brainbuster. Fun, fun match that told a great story.
After the match, Samoa Joe comes out. He congratulates both men on their match. Then he says that last week, Aries booked an X-Division title match, and Hardy made it an Ultimate X match, so this week, Joe wants to try something out. He books himself in the title match and says that at BFG, Joe is gonna kill you. Good promo, but why are they allowed to book their own matches? Meh, I’m turning my brain off.
This turns out to be a good thing as next up we see the Bro Mans saying stupid things about a horse, comparing said horse to ODB, and ripping each other for their losses last week, especially being pinned by a chick. Someone please punch them both. Thanks. Jesse says he’s going to take care of business.
After a commercial, we see EY and Joseph Park in a car. Apparently, they are travelling cross-country to BFG in San Diego in a car, and hijinks are bound to ensue. They pull off, but stop after about three seconds because ODB has a match and they have to be there for her.
Back in the arena, Jesse calls out ODB because he wants to beat a woman. Or something.
Match 2: ODB vs. Jesse
The best part of this match was the beginning when Jesse was getting ODB’s face and you kind of get the feeling that threatening a woman comes naturally to him. The match was just comedy filler. At least until Lei’d Tapa came out and destroyed ODB. I am not a fan. I think she needs more training. She finishes off ODB with a fireman’s carry into a stunner, which was actually pretty cool. Too bad it’s wasted.
Backstage, Bully is asked about the “revenge match.” He says he’s going to take care of it now. After a commercial, Knux and Bischoff are blaming Bully Ray for the lack of members of A&E. He ends up blaming Anderson and his ego for the lack of members. I guess that makes sense. I’m lying, no it doesn’t. Bully tells them that they’re going to fight AJ Styles and the title is going to stay with the club.
In a dressing room in the depths of the building, Magnus and Sting discuss various topics, such as their confrontation last week, and their match this week. Magnus calls his match against Sting huge, and Sting wants to prove that it’s still Showtime. Show’s over Sting.
At yet another dressing room door, there is a knock heard. Out pokes the head of Kazarian who says that they can’t see the Wizard, and then Daniels sticks his head out like this:
And cuts a promo like that saying, “There ain’t no party like a Bad Influence party.” No, there isn’t. I wish these guys could get a spinoff. They are absolutely my favorite part of the show.
After a commercial, they air a video for Angle’s induction into the TNA Hall of Fame, which leads to the EGO Hall of Fame induction of Bobby Roode. Out first is Bad Influence and they are dressed in solid colored suits, Kaz in all Orange, and Daniels in all Powder Blue. Just amazing.
In the ring, there is a throne that would make Triple H’s ego look small. Kaz cuts a promo about Bobby Roode that even manages to reference the famous poet Humpty Hump. Here’s the video because I cannot do this any justice:
I love Angle coming out at the end to set up the match at BFG. He looks good, and I seriously hope that his stint in rehab was his last.
After a commercial, Roode is livid about Angle interrupting his moment and says at BFG Angle s going to get it. Then we have our next match.
Match 3: Brooke Assmacher vs. Velvet Sky
This match happened, both girls are hot, and it sucked. Brooke won, so she is in the title match at BFG.
After a commercial, they show an “Earlier Tonight” clip of Ethan Carter III arriving somewhere, but it’s the exact same promo they showed last week, so someone messed up somewhere. Also, it looks like he will be known as EC3 going forward. That’s cool.
After that, we have out next match.
Match 4: Bad Influence vs. Sting/Magnus
For the record, Sting should always be the “babyface in peril” when it comes to teaming with the young guys. That’s just common freaking sense. The match was a good as you are going to get out of Sting, and they tease some drama with the finish, as Sting tagged himself in to pick up the win after showing signs of frustration with Magnus not going for a clear pinfall. At least they’re hyping the match.
Backstage, Dixie stops AJ in the hallway and says that he doesn’t have to wrestle tonight’s match or the match with Bully Ray at BFG. She gives him a check and says that he can take that money and run; he can go back to Georgia and open up a foundation for “all those redneck children who can’t read.” Careful Dixie, that’s about three-fifths your fan base. AJ says that the money wasn’t for him, and he rips the check up in front of her. Then Dixie delivers her best line to date: “I didn’t sign that check anyway.” I don’t know why, but that shit cracked me up.
After a commercial, we have our main event.
Match 5: AJ Styles vs. Garett/Knux
How in the hell did Garett Bischoff end up as one of the final members of A&E? What’s that? Nep-o-tis-m? Never heard of it. Wanna take a stab in the dark who won this match? If you said the babyface who needs momentum going into BFG, then congrats, you win a cookie. After the match, though, Knux and Bischoff beat down AJ, and Bully comes in takes over the beating. He really lays it in, and Impact ends with Bully standing over AJ Styles. And now, here’s TJR's Mike Ayers looking concerned for AJ Styles, standing on the right side of the cute girl in pink wearing his "Fingers 2 Keyboard" T-shirt.
Get in there bro!
This was a fun ass show to watch. I seem to be in the minority, but heel Dixie is awesome. I know she has trouble on the mic, but she is still finding her comfort zone. Let’s give it time to grow. Also, what a breath of fresh air it was not having Hogan around to muck things up. You can almost feel renewed energy in some of the performers. I hope Hogan goes back to WWE, not because I think that he belongs there, but because maybe Dixie can eventually grow her company.
Until next week, that’s all I got.
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