WTF: TNA Impact Review for 10/3/13
Welcome guys and gals to another edition of WTF, your weekly foray into the weird and wonderful world of TNA. This week is a big one, as we find out Hogan’s decision about joining “Team Dixie” or if he’s going to walk away. If you’ve read this column more than once, you know which side of the coin I hope lands. Let’s get on with the review now, shall we?
My DVR comes on in the middle of the opening narration, it it looks like this week will focus on Wes Brisco being kicked out of Aces and Eights, and The Hogan Situation.
When the show opens, we are greeted by the BFG series winner and number one contender for the World Title, AJ Styles. He says he appreciates Hogan trying to smooth things over, but as much as he likes Hogan, he’s not here to talk about him. He is also not here to bury Dixie Carter; he’s here to talk about Bully Ray. He says he knows who Bully Ray is the man that AJ is going to beat for the title at BFG. He says that he hasn’t seen a World Title in over a year, and he’s hungry. He says that people say that Bully is the toughest man in TNA, but he begs to differ. That cues up Bully Ray’s music, and out comes our champ along with his side piece, Assmacher. She is looking very fine tonight.
Bully gets on the mic and says he heard AJ say that he hopes to win the title. He didn’t say that Bully, pay attention. He says a true champion knows he will win. Bully says AJ knows who he is, Bully is the guy who beat AJ in a last man standing match two years ago, and there is nothing AJ has that Bully wants, so Bully wants to tale AJ from the people because he’s tired of people always chanting for Styles. AJ says that Bully is like Dixie, because he uses people. Bully thanks him for the compliment, and says that he’s going to send AJ home to his wife and kids without a contract or the world title. AJ tells Bully to get ready for his match later. Bully says that he doesn’t have one, but AJ says that Hogan hates Bully and that Joe is gonna kill him. It looks like Samoa Joe vs. Bully Ray for later. The segment ends and Taz, on commentary, is protesting this, saying there must be a typo. A typo, really? When did you stop giving a shit Taz?
Backstage, Dixie throws AJ out of the building.
After a commercial, we have our first match.
Match 1: Kenny King/Chris Sabin vs. Manik/Jeff Hardy
Awesome Aries is on contract, and Taz spends most of his words kissing his ass. I’m confused though. Judging by last week, shouldn’t Aries be in the match, not Hardy. But what do I know? The match was ok, but it seemed rushed a bit, and came off as a mess. Hardy picked up the win by pinning King after a series of moves, including a Swanton. It was forgettable.
After the match, Sabin started beating on Manik, which caused Aries to run n for the save. He gets on the mic and says that if Sabin really wants to prove how great he is, then Aries proposes a match for BFG: Sabin vs. Aries vs. Manik vs. Hardy. Sorry Kenny King, you’re out. Hardy says he’s down, but he wants to do something he hasn’t done before, and proposes an Ultimate X match. Everybody seems to be down with that. That match should be fun, but again, poor Kenny King. He deserves better.
After a commercial, Sting and Hogan are sitting in an office. Sting says the last time they had this situation, Bischoff was on his power trip. Not sure if he was talking about WCW era Bischoff or not, but he could have been. An intern then brings Hogan a gift from Dixie which, after a hilarious attempt to open the box, turned out to be a watch. This is a good thing because Hogan’s watch is stuck in 1996.
They show a clip of EGO taking Magnus out of his match last week, then showed some footage of Sting going to speak to Magnus who wants to fight EGO in a match. That match is happening right after the commercial.
Match 2: Magnus vs. EGO in a Gauntlet Match
Now TNA knows what a gauntlet match is?!? What the hell? I’m not complaining this week, but if they go back to a battle royal format for the next one, I’ll complain in all caps, so you know I’m serious. Anyway, Daniels comes out first. Daniels is very easily one of my favorites in TNA. He is so very entertaining. However, this was not Daniels’ night, and Magnus pinned him after a failed BME. This brings out Kaz and a commercial break.
Magnus really has no trouble with Kaz, and makes him tap to the cloverleaf. This brings out Bobby Roode, but before Kaz leaves, he clips Magnus’ knee, which fells the Brit. Roode moves in, but we get another commercial break.
The story of the third match was Magnus and his bad knee. Roode kept the focus on it, but Magnus fought through it. In the end, Roode tied up Magnus in an ankle lock, and Magnus tapped.
After the match was over, Magnus started flipping out and throwing chairs. Sting comes out to calm him down, but instead things escalate. Magnus says that he doesn’t have what others see in him, and Sting says that Magnus is being too hard on himself. Magnus says he’s not getting results, and Sting says that he was the same way when he was younger, but he had Ric Flair to put him on the map. Magnus asks who’s going to put him on the map. Sting says he will, at BFG. So there you have it, Sting vs. Magnus at BFG. If Magnus loses, he better turn heel. Or better yet, h e better not lose. This is what Sting should have been doing since the beginning.
Backstage, Aries gives Hogan some vitamins and says that he hopes Hogan makes the right decision. This leads to a retrospective of Hogan’s TNA career, which brought back some terrible memories.
Backstage, Sabin is asked why he isn’t going out to the ring to accompany his girlfriend, Velvet Sky to the ring. He says that she’s a big girl and can take care of herself.
They cut to EGO celebrating Roode’s victory. Holy shit, this was awesome. Daniels and Kaz start off singing words to Roode’s theme song, which was funny, then they tell him that Roode is the first inductee to the EGO Hall of Fame. Here’s the video. I love these guys.
In the ring, we have our next match.
Match 3: Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Assmacher
The best part of this match was the ring entrances of the girls. I say that not to be a perv, but because the match never got underway. Lei’D Tapa made her debut and quickly attacked poor Velvet Sky with some of the weakest looking kicks I have seen in a long ass time. They barely connected, and poor Velvet sold it like it hurt. Brooke bailed out before the attack though. This match was supposed to determine a number one contender for the KO title, but obviously that never happened.
After a commercial, there is a vignette for the new “Ethan” character. The character is supposed to be better than anyone, apparently. In case you missed it, Ethan will be played by Derrick Bateman.
They show a video package highlighting the tag team champions, GunStorm, who I keep forgetting are a team. The video package was actually really good, and it showed some early pictures of Gunner from his days in the military. Tenay and Taz run down the card for BFG, and then there is another video package, this time for the Kurt Angle induction into the TNA Hall of Fame. Another quality piece. Then we have our main event.
Match 4: Bully Ray vs. Samoa Joe
These two guys should never wrestle each other again. They brought out the absolute worst in each other. It was just slow-paced and sloppy. My favorite part was the ref bump, when Earl Hebner didn’t even try to move out of the way. He just let Joe flatten him. Of course, Joe then made Bulky tap, but since Hebner was out, Joe just dropped him down. Bully then grabbed his chain, and used it to deliver a double axe handle off the top. However, and I am just as shocked to write this as you probably are to read this, Earl Hebner SAW THE USE OF THE CHAIN! I almost fainted. He DQ’d Bully, who then took his frustrations out on Samoa Joe before being run off by AJ Styles who then ran into the crowd to pose/celebrate with the fans. He is definitely very popular. I hope he wins at BFG.
Up next is The Decision. Eat your heart out Lebron.
Dixie is out first and babbles for a bit before bringing out Hogan. She asks him if he’s ready to take his career to the next level. Excuse me? I may not exactly be the biggest Hogan fan ever, but if you look at his career objectively, then you will know that his career has no other levels it could ascend to. He has won countless titles and was arguably wrestling’s biggest draw of his time period. You want to use the “next level” line, go ahead, but use it on someone like Manik who actually has a level to get to, and not a sixty year old semi-retired wrestler. She asks him to take a ride on the Dixie Train, and I know at least two guys who would love that. Hogan gets on the mic and thanks Dixie for her generous offer, but says the offer is for someone else, and he quits. Dixie flips out and begs him to stay; she even holds his leg as he walks away, but he eventually shakes her off. Impact ends with Dixie screaming that she really didn’t want Hogan anyway, and that he was fired. Crazy bitch.
Hogan’s gone! I don’t know how his contract situation will be handled, but I really hope he does not come back to TNA anytime soon. It’s time to let the roster do what it’s capable of. Also, I think that Dixie begging like she did was a bit much as well, and it hurt her character a bit, but it wasn’t too bad. I am looking forward to next week’s show though, so they must be doing something right.
In case you missed it, I did a podcast with TJR’s own Thomas Briggs. Here is the link to the stream:
My part starts around the 22 minute mark.
Until then, that’s all I got.
Do you have any questions or comments? If so please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or you can friend me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fozzietjr or you can follow me on Twitter @Fozzie MB.