Welcome, Internet cool kids. Are you ready for this week’s edition of WTF? Well, that’s too damn bad, because here it is! Sorry for the late posts recently, but work has been doing its best to kick my ass, but next week it should all be better. Now without further ado, let’s get on with the show.
The show opens with Dixie welcoming back some dude back to TNA. Apparently this is Pacman Jones, who I didn’t recognize without a prisoner number. By the way, this is Dixie’s “former world champion” that she teased us about earlier in the week. Yes, I know he held the tag team titles for TNA before, but come on! When you say former world champ, I want to see someone like Jeff Jarrett, not some dumbass football player that will do nothing to help viewership. Wait a second…Did I just wish for a Jeff Jarrett appearance? Damn you, Dixie!
Pacman and Dixie bump into Mr. Anderson. Dixie says she doesn’t want any of his shit tonight, and Anderson says he just wants a match with Bully Ray. She agrees to give him a match if he agrees to “take it to him.” Dixie is the most confusing heel ever.
The flashback guy goes over AJ Styles leaving with the world title and Dixie’s subsequent tournament featuring the “Wheel of Dixie”. Then Mike Tenay’s shrill, nasal voice pierces my eardrums to tell us that Pacman Jones and one of his teammates from the Bengals is here. No shit, jerk. Then the music of the MEM hits and here comes the fake Mafia. Sting has the mic in his hand, which I am already cringing at. He says that in June he put the MEM back together to get the World Title off of Bully Ray, and to keep A&E at bay, but now they can say “job accomplished.” Way to go Mr. Bush. Sting then announces that he is disbanding MEM. Then he cuts a promo about going to take care of entitled people who think they can just walk in and be on top. He also says the words “This Business” enough times to make Triple H feel all warm and fuzzy. Sting says he loves these guys, hugs them, and then leaves. Samoa Joe then says he will win the tournament, even though he knows it will probably go through the MEM guys. He leaves, and Magnus says that he would take Angle out if he had to, and says that Angle’s road to redemption is Magnus’ road to destiny. That was a good line. Magnus comes off as kind of a jerk here, but that’s cool.
Angle is left alone in the ring. He starts talking about how he’s going to win the tournament, but is interrupted by Bobby Roode. Roode tells Angle that he beat him twice in a row, and if they meet in the finals, Roode has no problem beating him for a third time. Angle says that he hopes that they meet in the finals, but he doesn’t want to wait until then, so he punches Roode, and we have a BRAWL FOR NO REASON! Seriously, I understand that they hate each other, but a brawl? They fight until the commercial break, which was convenient.
When the commercials are over, Angle is in the ring, alone. He decides that he wants to call out Bobby Roode. I know, just go with it. They brawl, again. This time they are separated by Bad Influence and the MEM. Angle finally relents, and retreats back up the ramp with MEM, trash talking with Roode as he does. Tenay and Tazz go over what just happened, but then we cut back to Bad Influence talking trash to Pacman and his teammate. Of course they have to fight, and OF COURSE the Bengals are left standing tall. Whatever.
After another commercial, we see Garett and Knux walking in the back when suddenly a wild Anderson appeared. He uses logical thought! It’s super effective! He basically tells them to leave the group. They get all deep in thought, and then we get our first match.
Match 1: ODB vs. Velvet Sky vs. Brooke to determine a #1 contender for the KO title
Again, I hate how Tazz treats ODB in his commentary. He keeps calling her everything short of a dirty, drunk whore, and he should be ashamed of this. This match inexplicably gets a commercial break and ends with no winner when Gail Kim and Lei’d Tapa interfere and destroy everyone. Gail then gets on the mic and says that there is no competition left in TNA, so she issues a challenge to any lady not in the company, and if she beats Gail, she will get a title shot. I am interested to see who they bring in for this.
After a commercial, we see some video packages relating to AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy. Then there is a backstage segment with A&E. It begins with Knux and Garett saying that maybe Anderson was right earlier when he said they should disband. Bully shows up and says he’s aware of their talk with Anderson from earlier. This leads to a shouting match between Knux and Bully over the club losing its direction. Knux demands that the three of them plus Taz should go to the ring and have another vote. Wow, at least they remembered Taz was part of the group. Then, another commercial. This is where the action never ends? Okay…
After a commercial, Dixie is shown in her office screaming about someone embarrassing her. They never mention names, but I believe she was talking about AJ Styles. She throws her phone in disgust just as her nephew, EC3 walks in. He says that tonight’s opponent that was picked out for him was a tough choice to make, and that he may lose. Dixie tells him that he’s going to win because they’re Carters, and the world needs them. I dig that catchphrase btw.
Back in the ring Knux and Bischoff are standing there. Knux says that they are going to vote on the future of the club, and invites Taz into the ring, and then calls out Bully Ray. Bully gets to the ring and does his “Do you know who I am” catchphrase. Bischoff says that he knows who Bully is; he’s the poison that’s brought A&E down. Whoa, look at the big balls on Brett. Bischoff says that the vote is happening now, and Anderson’s music hits.
Anderson comes down to ringside to watch the procedures. Bischoff says that he’s out. Bully goes up to Knux and says that he’s been his rock since day one. Knux says that he doesn’t need Bully and he doesn’t need the club, so he’s out. Bully gets on the mic and says that this is going to end in a tie, because he’s voting to keep the club together, and his best friend Taz is the kind of guy who does what his president tells him. Taz looks at Bully and says that Knux, Bischoff, and Anderson are right, and that the club has been serving Bully’s agenda. He then says he’s out. Bully is pissed and tells Taz to put his colors back on. Taz screams at Bully to make him. Bully and Taz repeat those steps, but with Taz threatening Bully. Knux and Bischoff leave the ring during this. Bully turns his attention to Anderson and says that this all Anderson’s fault. Anderson then says that in two weeks, in Orlando at Turning Point, they are going to fight in a No DQ match. Bully says that for someone who respects Stone Cold Steve Austin (…yeah) he forgot the first rule.
Knux and Bischoff return to jump Anderson. They throw him into the ring as Bully whips Anderson with his chain to emphasize the words “Don’t Trust Anyone.” The segment ends with A&E standing tall over Anderson. This was easily the best segment of the night.
After another commercial, Tenay is yelling at Taz for the swerve. Tenay looks like a frustrated High School principal who’s at his wits end and needs to enlist the help of Tom Berenger to rid the school of this unruly gang. All of a sudden, Bobby Roode comes back out and screams at the camera that he wants Kurt Angle. This was unintentionally hilarious. The lights go out and the music of EC3 hits. I thought it was going to be Roode vs. EC3, but I was dead wrong.
Match 2: EC3 vs. Not Napoleon Dynamite
The opponent is really Dewey Barnes who EC3 beat a couple of weeks ago, and has had more screen time recently than James Storm. Guess who won.
Backstage Bad Influence starts picking on Joseph Park, who is eating Halloween Candy. They make an allusion to Abyss not being around while Park is there, and then they throw the candy on Park. EY shows up and the self proclaimed “scientist” says he has an experiment he wants conduct. I think that means he’s challenging them to a match. After a commercial, and we have that match.
Match 3: EY/Park vs. Bad Influence
EY and Park are TNA’s Santino and Khali, except Park is way better than Khali at everything. Seriously, the only thing missing from this match was a stupid little midget. I am so glad Bad Influence got the win here too. I am a huge fan, in case you didn’t know.
After a commercial, Angle comes out and calls out Booby Roode. Instead, Austin Aries comes out. Aries says that he understands what Angle is going through with Roode, but next week, Angle isn’t fighting Roode, he’s fighting Aries next week, and if Angle doesn’t have one hundred percent focus, than Angle has zero chance of winning.
Dixie Carter appears and says it’s time to spin the Wheel of Dixie. How come I get the feeling that “Wheel of Dixie” was her nickname in high school? Anyway, she spins and we have a submission match! Snooch the mother f***ing booch! That’s going to be awesome. The Bobby Roode comes down and we have another BRAWL FOR NO REASON! This time Aries gets involved because f**k shoes at this point. Pacman Jones didn’t get involved this time, mainly because I think he was beating up random women at the time. Then finally, we have our main event.
Match 4: Chris Sabin vs. Jeff Hardy in a Full Metal Mayhem Match
This match was all types of awesome, which I expected because of the participants. If this is the type of quality matches we will get from the Wheel of Dixie, than keep spinning that shit. I’m really hoping that Magnus wins the whole thing though. It would really make him a star. Jeff hardy won this match, and that doesn’t do anything for me. I would have loved for Sabin to get the win here, especially since he’s been trying out a new heel character, and really could have benefitted from the win. But what do I know? I’m just a poor wrestling blogger with no type of experience in backstage affairs, which makes me just about as qualified as whoever is running that shit now. Yes, this is my application to TNA for their open position in creative. I hope I get it.
This show was booked in a weird way. Why have so many segments with Roode and Angle, when you have so many wrestlers just sitting around not doing a damn thing. It makes me sad. However, the bright side is that the tournament is underway, and I’m digging the Wheel of Dixie, even though I really don’t think it’s needed. I would like a nice feud for EC3 though. Maybe that’s who Sting was talking about in his opening promo about entitlement. Who knows, but can someone please save James Storm before he falls into Chris Harris territory?
Until next time, that’s all I got.
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