WTF: TNA Impact Review for 2/7/13
Blimey! Welcome to another edition of Impact Wrestling from the UK! This is going to be a shorter review than normal, as I am really pressed for time today, so let’s get started already, shall we?
The Announcer goes over the two major storylines from last week – The Reinstatement ob Bully Ray, and the heel turns of Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco. I really loved the heel turns, by the way. I know it was predictable, but the way they built the story was a lot better than most of what they do. I hope the follow through is good as well.
We are welcomed to the arena by Taz, Todd Keneley and Mike Tenay, and immediately the music of Aces and Eights starts up, and out comes our beloved (ok, maybe not) biker gang.
Devon is on the mic first. He says that a few weeks ago he said that A&E will dominate Impact Wrestling. He then introduces a video package of how they set up Kurt Angle. After the video, Devon introduces Garett and Wes. Garett does his best Eric impression, by thanking the fans for their boos, and Wes says that Hulk Hogan is to blame for Wes’ actions, because Hogan made Wes wait two years before he was given a shot. Wes says that he is a Brisco, and shouldn’t start at the bottom. He says that his father was the one that gave Hogan his start, and that he felt disrespected. Wes concludes by saying that with the help of A&E, he will climb to the top of the ladder. Devon gets back on the mic and says that if he was Kurt Angle, he wouldn’t think about coming back to TNA. He then says that it’s fine if Hogan wants to book them in a tables match, because A&E always has an ace inside their sleeve. It’s up your sleeve, jerk.
Backstage, Tara and Jesse are talking about someone, and Jesse says everything is cool, because he sent “her” a message on Myspace. What’s a Myspace? Anyway, Tara and Jesse walk into the locker room, where Brooke Hogan is waiting. Brooke tells Tara that Tara has a match with Mrs. Ass, and that Jesse is banned from ringside. Jesse says that he flew all the way over to England, and wants to know what he’s supposed to do. Brooke tells him to get her a cup of coffee. I liked angry Brooke. About time she stopped acting like a teenage girl.
After a commercial, we have our first match.
Match 1: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. RVD for the X-Division title
During the match, Tenay says that these three are what the X-Division are all about, so I guess the X-Division is all about rushed spots, bad storytelling, and obviously choreographed moves. RVD picked up the win after hitting King with the frog splash and pinning Ion, who was incapacitated by a devastating suplex. I didn’t like this match.
Backstage, Awesome Aries and Bobby Roode pump each other up for their tag title match later on.
After a commercial, there is a video package about something called “British Boot Camp” which was one by someone named Rockstar Spud.
Then they cut to the A&E promo from earlier. Why? I have no idea. Then they cut to Brother Love and D’lo Brown are discussing the Brisco/Bischoff thing. They essentially blame themselves for allowing Brisco to be on the roster. Brother Love says that when Kurt Angle comes back, there will be hell to pay.
After another commercial, Jesse is in the ring. He says that even though Brooke banned him from Tara’s match, he’s going to give the crowd something to cheer for. He acts like he’s going to start a pose down, but is interrupted by James Storm. Storm says that the crowd isn’t interested in taking pictures; they’re here to drink beer and watch someone get their ass kicked. He says that he’s going to kick Jesse’s teeth out of his mouth.
Match 2: James Storm vs. Jesse
Yeah, guess who won. I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t Jesse. In a funny moment, Storm propped up and unconscious Jesse and treated him like a ventriloquist’s dummy.
We got to commercial, and after that we have our second title match.
Match 3: Roode/Aries vs. Hernandez/Eddie’s Nephew for the Tag Team Titles
This was a really fun match to watch. Aries and Roode have great chemistry together, and their interaction is priceless. I love them as a team, but they do have a kind of “Hell No” vibe to them that makes me think that they are a knock off, but they make it work, so I really don’t care too much. Roode and Aries won the match and the titles after a spinebuster by Roode and a 450 splash by Aries on Chavo. Finally the universe is balanced – Chavo Guererro no longer has a title.
Backstage, Sting and Bully are going over their match when Hogan walks in. Sting leaves them alone and Hogan says now is the time for Bully to prove that he’s the “good guy” that he says he is. Bully says that just because he treats Brooke well, that doesn’t make him a “good guy”. He says he remembers what A&E has done to Hogan, Sting and Brooke, and that his name is Bully Ray and he’s a “bad guy.” Great promo. Bully leaves and Hogan gives a look back and says “good”. I swear if Hogan turns out to be the “higher power” behind A&E, then this storyline is a complete fail.
After a commercial, we have our next match.
Match 4: Tara vs. Ms. Ass
Jesse is banned from ringside, and Tara keeps looking out of the ring and calling for him. Other than that, the match is kind of weak. I’ve seen them have a better match than this pile of crap. It didn’t help that the crowd was almost completely dead for this match. Ms. Ass picks up the win after a boring few minutes. AT least they’re hot, right?
After a commercial, Jeremy Borash welcomes a “very special guest” – Rockstar Spud. Before the video package earlier, I had never heard of him, and now he is a “very special guest”? Whatever. He says generic babyface things (It’s good to be here!) before he’s interrupted by the Two Robbies. Robbie E. insults Spud, and then hides behind Bigger Rob, who “accidentally” drops his clipboard allowing Spud to punch Robbie E. Then Spud and Robbie T. dance in the ring. Yes, this happened.
Backstage, Sting and Bully get each other pumped up for their match as Brooke cheers them on. Sting says it’s Showtime! Brooke kind of patronizes him, which was funny, but then gives Bully a hug for luck. There are so many clichés here that someone has to be turning heel soon. The only question is who.
After a quick update on Jeff Hardy (he’s fine) we have our main event.
Match 5: Bully/Sting vs. Devon/DOC in a Tables Match
The match was ok. It was probably the best match you are going to get out of these guys, so there’s that. There was also the predictable run-in, this one by the wrestler formerly known as Mike Knox. They haven’t given him a name yet. But, the baby faces overcame the odds, and after Bully “hulked up” (because apparently it runs in the family, even if you’re not blood related) he chokeslammed Devon through a table for the win. Hulk and Brooke came down and celebrated as Impact went off the air.
This episode seemed like it was just a filler show. There was no real flow to it, and there was really no storyline advancement, other than the Tag Title change and the A&E angle. I really missed Bad Influence on this show, and not having Hardy there was kind of a bummer. I’m not saying this was a bad show, but it wasn’t that great also. Maybe next week will be better.
That’s it for me this week. I apologize again for the rushed review, but I promise next week I will be back on my game. Until Headlines on Tuesday, that’s all I got.
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