WTF: TNA Impact Review for 7/11/13
Hello freaks and geeks! Welcome to this week’s edition of WTF! Before we begin, a quick disclaimer. I am reviewing this show off of the internet, and not my cable, so if you watched the show, and notice I left something out, that’s your reason. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s just do this already so I can go to work.
Hercules Q. Voiceover starts running down the previous happenings of Impact wrestling, starting with Aries pretending to be Suicide, winning the X-division championship, Hogan making the three-way match between Sabin, Aries and Suicide (now known as Manic) Aces and Eights vowing to take care of club business, Magnus joining the new Main Event Mafia, and finally ending with Chris Sabin winning back the X-division title and stating that we may be looking at the next World Heavyweight Champion.
Backstage in the arena, Bully Ray approaches the roaming camera guy. Bully says that the camera guy is always looking for a reaction, but tonight he gets a preview. His gripe? That Brooke Hogan got engaged in real life. OK… He says that Brooke can move on when he says she can. I swear if her fiancée gets involved on TV, I’m going to cry myself to sleep.
In the arena, Bully makes his way out. The rest of A&E is already in the ring. Bully’s first point is to talk about Chris Sabin. He says that later tonight Hogan is going to ask Sabin to hand his title over so Sabin can go after the world title. Bully advises Sabin not to do this because Bully is a bad man and bad things will happen. He then says that tonight A&E will be voting in a new VP. He says A&E is a family and that it’s family business. That brings him to the MEM. Bully says that he’s turning down MEM’s challenge for a fight because they fight on their terms. MEM’s music hits.
MEM comes out. Angle says that next week they are going to take out all of A&E so that when Bully defends his title, he will do so all alone. Sting says that Bully is nervous, and that MEM has another member, a “heavy hitter” and we will find out by the end of the night who it is going to be.
They announce a “Joker’s Wild” tag-team tournament in the BFG series that’s worth twenty five points to the winner. I’m not sure how this will work, but I’m sure they will explain it down the line.
After a commercial, Borash explains the rules. There will be randomly selected teams, and they will face off against each other. The winning teams will then take place in gauntlet match at the end of the night, with the winner getting the twenty five points. This could be interesting.
Match 1: Jeff Hardy/Joseph Park vs. AJ Styles/Samoa Joe
Here’s a small observation. As much as I like the Joseph Park/Abyss storyline, I think the Joseph Park character needs to evolve a bit from the bumbling idiot that he is. The match was short, so it never really had a flow. Joe choked out Park for the win. AJ and Joe are now in the gauntlet match.
They show Taryn Terrell warming up for her ladder match later tonight. I could watch that all day.
Jeremy Borash and Christy Hemme draw the names for the next match.
Match 2: Jay Bradley/Hernandez vs. Anderson/Magnus
The story here is of course a member of MEM teaming with a member of A&E. They show a little discord in the beginning of the match, and Anderson keeps walking away from the corner when Magnus wants to tag. It was another short match, and Anderson never got in the match. Magnus picked up the win via roll-up after Bradley accidentally grabbed Hernandez’ leg. This has been a boring couple of matches. Highlight of this match was Anderson celebrating the win like he did all the work. That tells you something.
Backstage, Aries is complaining to Roode about losing the X-Division title last week. He says Roode should have been out there. Roode says that he had a lot on his plate, especially since he is 0-3 in the BFG series. The Bad Influence walk in, and say that they are the last four men left in the tournament, and since they’re in Vegas, and the odds are always in their favor, it’s going to be The Bad Influence vs. The Dirty Heels. That’s Daniels’ name for them. I like it. This also means that the teams will mixed and matched for the last tag team match.
Back in the arena, Borash announces the last two teams.
Match 3: Daniels/Aries vs. Kaz/Roode
What’s ridiculous about this segment is that Borash still drew the names for Kaz and Roode. He didn’t have to. It’s a minor gripe though. What I don’t have a problem with is these four guys in a match together. Their chemistry is ridiculous. The match was probably as long as the other two matches combined, which is never a good thing. The ending came when Kaz rolled up Daniels for the win as Aries comically tripped over the rope trying to make the save. I don’t know if they are building this up or not, but right now, I am dying for a Kaz/Daniels match. Their interaction here was limited to the roll-up, so maybe they are slow building to that. If they are, good for them. If not, they better start.
Backstage, Bully Ray tells The Last Bischoff to get Taz because they are going to be voting for the new V.P.
Brooke and her dad have a segment that felt like it wasted my time. Seriously, for a father and daughter, they suck together.
Backstage, A&E had their “election” for VP. They went around the room and each member alternated between Anderson and DOC, until it came down to Knux, who picked Anderson, which made Anderson the new VP. DOC stewed and stared down Knux. Knux said it wasn’t about DOC, it was about the club. DOC looked pissed off.
Then we have our next match.
Match 4: Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell
This is a ladder match to determine the #1 contender to Mickie James’ KO title. Mickie is at ringside watching the match. This match was great. If you haven’t watched it, do so. It wasn’t the best ladder match I’ve ever seen, but it was fun. I had a question I asked myself while watching this match: How come Taryn can put on a good match with her being basically a rookie, but someone like Velvet Sky, who is a technically a veteran, still sucks assholes? Then it hit me. Forget for a second that Taryn was working with Gail Kim, but Taryn has this “I don’t give a f**k attitude when she wrestles, and it helps her to look more legit. Gail won the match after tying Taryn to the ropes with her hair, which is one thing you never see, and retrieving the contract. Again, a fun match that you should all check out.
Backstage, Angle and Sting talk about Joe and Magnus doing well in the BFG series and then about the fifth member, who has yet to arrive. Sting’s phone rings, and we find out that it is this fifth member who called Sting to let him know that he’s here. Angle breathes a sigh of relief for some reason.
We then have our Gauntlet match.
Match 5: Kaz vs. Roode vs. AJ vs. Samoa Joe vs. Magnus vs. Anderson in a Gauntlet Match
The rules of a Gauntlet match are simple. Two men start until one is pinned. Then the next man enters. You continue that formula until you have a winner. Pretty simple, unless you’re TNA and you don’t give us a Gauntlet match, you give us a battle royal. Don’t insult me, jerks. Wait, why are they going for submissions? What the hell has TNA done to me? Did I miss something? And what was that ending? Did Magnus just pin Roode with his feet? What did I just watch? I’m all for the Magnus push, but what the hell?
Hogan makes his way out after a commercial break. It’s time for Sabin to make his decision, even though it’s been mentioned by Angle that Sabin is fighting Bully next week. Hogan says that live from Louisville, FREE ON SPIKE TV (yes he said that) we will have Destination X. He then calls out Chris Sabin. Sabin comes out and Hogan calls Sabin the greatest. Sabin takes the mic and says that he never thought he would be able to do this. He says that he watched Hogan dominate wrestling when Sabin was a kid, and that inspired him to become a wrestler. He says he wants to be world champ, and the only thing left is to hand over the title. Before he can, A&E comes out to the ring. Bully gets in the ring and tells Hogan he has unfinished business with Brooke. Bully tells Sabin not to hand over the title. He says that he’s a bad man, and that a little boy like Sabin will never beat him. Bully says that he’s going beat him bad.
Sabin then cuts an awesome promo about being the underdog, but that he’s ok with that because he’s always been the underdog. He says that he’s the man that pinned Bully in Team 3-D’s retirement match, and that he’s the only person to kick out of the 3-D finisher. He says next week, all he needs is one shot, and he will stand over Bully Ray as Chris Sabin, World Heavyweight Champion.
Bully says that Sabin is also going to have to fight A&E. MEM’s music starts up, and Sting says that next week it won’t be Sabin against A&E; it will be Sabin vs. Bully one on one. He says the Mafia will take care of A&E, and that includes their newest member: Rampage Jackson. What the..? Did I..? How in the..? F**K.
Like I said before, sorry if I missed a segment or two. As it was, I had to find a different link for the end of the show. This wasn’t a bad show, as it set up things nicely for next week, but in my opinion, the first three matches were too short. The best match was the Ladder Match. I thought for sure that Taryn was going to win, but I’m not one to say no to a Gail Kim/Mickie James match. It’s just going to be weird because it’s heel vs. heel. As for the Rampage reveal, I think the credibility of the MEM took a huge hit. Why are they putting a non-wrestler in this group? So many others that could have benefitted from joining this group and they put the one guy who says that he won’t wrestle until he retires from MMA? What the shit TNA? I did like the Sabin promo at the end. It makes me believe that he has a shot to win. I just wish they pushed him harder leading up to this. Next week should be a fun show to watch, and I’m looking forward to it.
Until Headlines, that’s all I got.
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