WTF: TNA Impact Review for 9/12/13
Welcome followers! This week’s Impact episode is the No Surrender-themed episode, which is headline by the final four in the BFG series and the world title match between the champ, Bully Ray, and Mr. Anderson, who was in the BFG series, lost, and gets a title shot anyway, because in-fighting. This may also be a very short review because I’m kind of in a rush today. Sorry guys. Let’s do this shall we?
There are two video packages that open the show. The first focuses on the final four in the BFG series, and the second is a quick recap of the Bully Ray/Anderson match. Then the music of Aces & Eights host and the fabulous behind of Ms. Assmacher is accompanied by Bully Ray. Bully demands the music to be shut off, and the gracious music guy acquiesces. Bully says that he’s in a bad mood because of the family in-fighting in A&E, and he blames only one man for it – Hulk Hogan, who takes his cue and hobbles his way out. He gets the crowd to pop to their city (St. Louis) and mocks Bully Ray by calling him a baby and making baby noises. Bully blames Hogan for all the A&E problems, and says that Anderson will “do the right thing” whatever that means, and Hogan says that Bully has to worry about putting the title against “one of your brothers, brother.” Is it possible I can hate Hogan more? Bully says that he wants to hear it straight from Anderson. So Anderson comes out to join the like-fest. Bully looks at Ken-boy and says that all Anderson has to do is apologize for last week. Anderson says that last week he was out of line, and this week he can’t wait to be out of line again, and he punches Bully in the face. Bully escapes, and Hogan makes the title match Last Man Standing. Anderson says that he will win the title. Sure you will Kenny, sure you will.
We then have our first match.
Match 1: AJ Styles vs. Austin Aries
If No Surrender was still a PPV event, I would buy it for this match. It could close the show if TNA were smart, but here they are, curtain jerking, and that’s a shame. AJ wins the match because his contract I up and they gotta make him happy.
Backstage, Sting is giving Magnus a pep talk. Sting says that Magnus is two wins of away from having the gold around his waist. Magnus says he’s tired of being called the future of TNA, and that the future is now. Good line, but I don’t see TNA having much of a future.
We then have our next match.
Match 2: Bobby Roode vs. Magnus
This is the second semi-final match, with the winner facing AJ Styles later tonight. To be honest, I really didn’t care who won this match, because this is a solid final four. I think both guys match up well against Styles. Magnus gets the win with a flip pin, which was kind of creative, and Roode is out of the BFG series. Our main event tonight will now be Magnus vs. AJ Styles. I have been pulling for Magnus the whole series, but I’m sure AJ will win.
Backstage, Roode is flipping tables because he’s pissed at the loss. Kaz and Daniels come to comfort him, and they end up blaming all this on Hogan for some reason. Roode vows that no one will make the finals. Dun du duuuuunnnn.
We cut to Hogan having a conversation with Manik sans mask, and Hogan is congratulating Manik for being on fire recently. Umm, you mean the guy who lost his last television match and hasn’t wrestled on TV in a month? Yeah, he’s burning it up. Hogan compares Manik putting on the mask to Hogan hulking up. Doesn’t it feel like Hogan should just walk around with a giant arrow pointing towards him and bells and whistles going off? Manik wants to fight Jeff Hardy, and Hogan gives him the match, they are interrupted by Dixie Carter, who poisons my TV so much I have to administer treatment before I turn it on, and she says that Bellator lawyers have said that Rampage and Tito Ortiz can’t appear again on Impact TV until after their Nov. 2 fight. But who will I make fun of? Oh right, Robbie E. See, he is good for something.
In the A&E clubhouse, Bully is yelling at the rest of the members. He says that it seems like the rest want Anderson as champ and president. Bully says that he put the club together, and that they really don’t want Anderson as president. He says that they will do the right thing tonight, and again doesn’t elaborate. What a guy.
They show quick highlights of the BFG series matches from earlier, and then they show a video package for the Bully/Anderson match. Bully is a condescending prick. I love it. Then we have our next match.
Match 3: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray for the World Title
They played the A&E theme for Anderson, and just let it run when Bully came out. What happened to Anderson using his old theme? He used it last week, why not use it tonight? Too many questions, I know. This was a very good brawl, to be honest. Bully won of course, but its how he won, plus the post match beatdown that was noteworthy. After Bully shoved Earl Hebner into the corner, Anderson hit a Mic Check on Bully. He then tried to wake up Hebner, but the old man really needed this nap. The rest of A&E comes down to the ring. They tease aligning with Anderson, and they beat him down – including a triple powerbomb - and Anderson shows has more heart than anyone. Eventually Bully spears Anderson through a table that was just chillin in the corner. Then in hilarious fashion, the “Emergency Technichians” botch the stretcher job. It didn’t matter, because Bully ended up pushing Anderson off the stretcher and really laying in a beating, eventually giving him a pile driver. I have heard that Anderson’s contract was up, so this was a write-off. It was a hell of a way to go out.
Back in the ring, GunStorm has arrived. Have I told you how much I hate the fall of James Storm? He is being misused terribly in this tag team. He ends up laying out a challenge to any team in the bike. Oh crap, here comes Chavo with a mic. My ears are starting to bleed. He’s terrible. Anyway, they set up a match where if Chavo and Hernandez win, they get a tag title match. Whatever.
After a recap of the Anderson beating, we have our final match.
Match 4: Magnus vs. AJ Styles in the finals of the BFG Series
It became obvious a couple of weeks ago that AJ was the one that was going to win, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I really wanted Magnus to pull it out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with the AJ win, but Magnus winning would have boosted the young guy’s confidence. I will also not lie when I say that this was Magnus’ best match in a long time, but AJ will do that. Magnus looked great in defeat, too. This sets up Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles at Bound For Glory.
Post match, AJ cut a promo saying he couldn’t have done it without the fans support, but he says that Dixie Carter has been ignoring him, especially in social media and calls her out for next week, vowing to drop a bombshell. Impact ends there.
Wow, Manik really set the ring ablaze, huh? All kidding aside, the in-ring action tonight was top of the line. Everyone brought their A-game and worked hard to make the BFG series look legitimized. However, the rest looked like filler. The Hogan segments were brutal, and Chavo should never be allowed near a live mic ever again. And someone please save James Storm.
Until next time, that’s all I got.