WTF: TNA Impact Review for 9/19/13
Hello dear readers! This week I’ll be in a bit of a rush, so please forgive me. I have work early today, so let’s just get straight to business.
Before any pyro or video packages, Magnus is being interviewed in the back about his loss to AJ styles “last week.” He then is confronted by Bobby Roode and the two exchange words until Roode attacks Magnus, which leads to the rest of EGO coming out to join the fun. Then we get the Traditional video package of current TNA events, including Bully Ray defeating Anderson, and AJ Styles winning the BFG series, and then calling out Dixie Carter. That should be interesting. Hopefully she doesn’t bring back Claire Lynch. Ugh.
Magnus comes out to the ring to properly open the show. He asks the crowd if they remember his loss from “last week” which is dumb, because to the crowd, the loss just happened. He then takes issue with EGO jumping him, and calls one of them out to fight. Kaz comes out first, and they start brawling. This goes on until Daniels and Roode jump in, and that leads to MEM making their way to the ring for the save. They clear the ring and Sting uses his magical powers of jump cut editing to produce a mic from out of nowhere to challenge EGO to a six-man tag match later. I guess Ego accepts, because Tenay said it’s on. I really hate that guy.
Backstage, Chris Sabin is talking with Manik. Sabin is cutting kind of a heel promo by taking credit for Manik’s success because Sabin set the bar for all X-division wrestlers. He also had a really hot Velvet Sky with him, and now I hate him more. Manik is kind of dismissive of Sabin, and he says he has to get ready for his match against Jeff Hardy. He walks off and Sabin says he’s going to go take a closer look at the match. You know what bothered me the most about this promo? They filmed the whole thing from behind Manik, so we never saw his face, like they were trying to conceal his identity, despite the fact that they have shown his face many times. It’s kind of funny.
Back in the arena, Jeff Hardy makes his way to the ring. We have a commercial, and then we have our first match.
Match 1: Jeff Hardy vs. Manik
This is the match that Hogan granted Manik last week. It was a pretty good match, but to be honest, I think Hardy doesn’t give a shit anymore. He seems like he’s going through the motions. Hardy wins, with the Swanton, and then shakes Manik’s hand as Tenay extols the virtues of “mutual respect.” I think that if I watched this show without sound, I could enjoy it more. Post match had the slow build to Sabin’s heel turn end, as he did the “shake the guys hand then pretend to leave and come back and jump him” bit. I wouldn’t mind seeing them have a nice feud.
They showed Dixie Carter arriving and walking away saying she has a lot to do. I hope one of those things is hiring someone who knows how to turn a company around.
After a commercial, Sabin is stopped in the back and asked why he attacked Manik. Sabin says that Manik is disrespectful and that everyone else is too. He says that he is overlooked by everyone, including the fans, and now he is going to take the respect he deserves. He does not sound like a tough guy heel, by the way. Then we have our next match.
Match 2: ODB vs. Mickie James for the Knockouts Championship
I try to avoid spoilers for the shows that I review, because I think it helps the quality of the reviews, but I heard about ODB’s victory in this match when I saw the news that Mickie’s contract was up and she didn’t renew. Letting Mickie James just walk away is a mistake, especially since the KO division is very weak right now. I don’t know what they plan on doing with the division now, and the future kind of scares me a bit. As for Mickie, I really hope she goes back to WWE to feud with AJ Lee. That would be fun.
The post match had EY coming out to celebrate with his “wife” along with his new best friend, Joseph Park. All of a sudden, The Bro Mans come out to talk shit about Park and EY. There is short back and forth which leads to a match between EY and Robbie E.
Match 3: Robbie E. vs. EY
The match goes about fifteen seconds, as EY threw Robbie into the corner, then rolled him up. Afterwards, Robbie E. Says the match doesn’t count because he wanted to fight Joseph Park. Park gets that look in his eye and we cut to commercial. They come back from commercial to show us Joseph Park jumping up and down on the apron, and they go back to another commercial. I hate when they do that. When we do return, we have our next match.
Match 4: Joseph Park vs. Robbie E.
This match was just as quick as the EY match. The Bro Mans get pissed off, and jump the crazy duo. This leads to Park bleeding, “Abyssing out” and destroying the Bro Man’s. They also had a terrible jump cut in there because all of a sudden, Park went from outside the ring to standing in the ring. He even took out his fake teeth for the transformation, but he had them back in when EY calmed him down, so that was a nice touch. I wish they would stop dragging this out though. It’s gone on way too long.
They show a video package of the Bully Ray/Anderson situation, and then they show Bully headed to the ring with Assmacher. She’s walking backwards, which I approve of. They’re up next.
After a commercial, they show AJ Styles from last week calling out Dixie Carter. They cut to Hogan asking Dixie about AJ. He says he will come out with her, but she says no.
Back in the arena A&E make their way out. Assmacher looks so good as a biker chick. Bully says the crowd seemed happy to see him. He asks them if they know who he is. Yes, Bully, they know. Bully says that there is someone who he couldn’t have done this all without. He looks at Knux, Brisco, and “Bisch”. Then he turns to Assmacher, and says that he owes all his success to her. A&E get all huffy, which is hilarious to see, because Wes Brisco is the worst when it comes to conveying emotion. He berates Wes and Baby Bischoff, which was fun to see, but Knux got right in Bully’s face. Knux says that he’s been with the club since day one, when they had “twenty five members”, but now they are down to four, and that makes Bully a bad leader. Knux says that it used to be club business, but now it’s all Bully business. Knux tells Bully that the first rule of every club is “bros before hoes.” Not the “No Homers” club though. Bully shoves Knux and threatens him if he ever gets out of line again. Knux walks after Bully, but Bully leaves. It looks like this may be the beginning of the end of A&E, and this makes me sad. Seriously, I haven’t been this upset since the LWO disbanded.
Backstage, Sting and Samoa Joe gave a pep talk to Magnus for their upcoming six man tag. Riveting.
After a commercial, we have our next match.
Match 5: Hernandez vs. Gunner
This was supposed to be a tag team match, but Chavo said he was injured, so he wasn’t cleared, so it led to this singles match. Also, whoever thought it was a good idea to let Gunner and Chavo do the speaking, you’re fired. As for the match, it went as well as you could expect. Gunner won with a shitty looking backbreaker in an otherwise passable match. The only way I can care about this is if Storm realizes that he’s better than this and just beats the crap out of everyone.
After a commercial, we have our final match of the evening.
Match 6: MEM vs. EGO
There are two things that I couldn’t help but take away from this match. The first is I wish I could somehow convince Tenay to retire. He’s just terrible. The second is that anyone who thinks that Sting vs. Undertaker would be a good match if Sting jumped over to WWE needs there head checked. Sting looked like crap here, especially when he applied the Deathlock, and he looked like he was trying to take a shit on Daniel’s back. EGO won after Roode hit Magnus with Sting’s baseball bat while the referee was distracted.
After a commercial, it was time for AJ to call out Dixie Carter. In the interest of fairness, I’m going to post the video for you. You can decide how to feel about it. I thought it was better than his first “pipe bomb” promo. Take a look and decide:
Damn, and it looks like Dixie is going to be a heel boss now. This could be a fun angle. I hope they don’t screw it up. Dixie is pretty bad though. Maybe she should have a manager.
The buzz after the main event angle was huge. It was well deserved too. It almost made me forget how sloppy the rest of the show was. Dixie ripping on AJ was awesome though. Calling him “and average fish in any pond” and “The Marginal One” was great. Her flipping out at the end was good too. I know that there will be people talking about how this is copying WWE, but to those people, I say be quiet and enjoy it. This may be the change in TNA that we have all clamored for. If this leads to higher ratings, then I am ok with it. If this leads to TNA finally growing as a company, then I’m cool with that too. And when you factor in the fact that next week’s tapings could be the final time we see Hogan as a part of this company since his contract is up Oct. 1st. I am actually excited to next week’s show. Until then, that’s all I got.