Welcome to this week’s edition of WTF! I am very excited for this week’s episode because TNA is doing something kind of interesting with AJ Styles, and I want to see how things go. Granted, the cynic in me is waiting to see how much they can mess this angle up, but I am trying to remain positive. Anyway, let’s get to it, shall we?
Johnny Q. Announcerman goes over some happenings from last week, which included Magnus being pinned in last week’s match, Bully Ray causing dissension in the Aces & Eights, and of course Dixie Carter’s heel turn. I love how they are playing up a “losing streak” angle with Magnus after like, what, two losses? What a crazy company.
Impact opens up with the strums of the A&E theme and Bully comes out with Assmacher, who is looking wonderful in her cutoff shorts. Bully says that he’s not usually at a loss for words, but he was speechless after Dixie turned heel. He says that he used to worry about how he would beat AJ, but now that Dixie is in AJ’s head now it’s going to be easy to win. He basically agreed with everything Dixie said last week, and then asked the crowd if they knew who he was. This queued up the A&E theme again and out comes the rest of A&E. Knux is angry that Bully is more concerned about Bully business and not club business. Knux says that Bully is worried more about his ho than his bros. Bully gets angry and tells them to not call Assmacher a ho. This leads to a “Ho” chant from the crowd. That was wonderful. Knux says that tonight He, Bischoff, and Brisco are going to take care of club business against the Main Event Mafia. Bully says its fine, but look what he did to D-lo Anderson, and his own brother, Devon. He tells them that his patch says president, while the others should be say “lackey”. Bully says that is A&E lose the match tonight, one of them is out of the club. If this is the end of A&E as a faction, then this is a very anti-climatic way for them to disband. I thought they would have to be forced to disband, not have Bully randomly throw people out. Maybe the contract statuses of the three departed caused them to plan things differently.
Backstage, Joseph Park was about to shave when EY came up and warned him that Park could cut himself and bleed which would turn Park into a monster, and that there are civilians around. The funniest part about this segment is that Park was already clean shaven. EY says that they have a match and they head to the ring.
In the arena, their opponents, The Bro Mans and Gail Kim make their entrance before a commercial. When we return from commercial, we have our match.
Match 1: ODB/EY/Joseph Park vs. The Bro Mans/Gail Kim
Yay, a comedy match! Well, part of it was comedy. I guess this will lead to a Gail Kim/ODB feud because I don’t see another reason to have her team with these goofballs. Also, one thing that has always bothered me in tag matches: When the babyface who is getting beat down makes a tag that the referee doesn’t see, but there is overwhelming evidence that the tag was made, such as the beaten wrestler laying near his corner, the referee becomes Captain Rulebook and restrains the fresh man while the heels continue to beat up the weary face while changing places without tagging, but by clapping their own hands together to simulate the noise of a tag, and when the referee turns around and sees a different heel in the ring, he kind of shrugs and moves on. What is up with that? Anyway, as you can tell, the match did not hold my interest for long. The good guys won after they all did finishers on Jesse, including ODB, who got the pin. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this will lead to ODB fighting men for the KO title. I sincerely hope not.
Backstage, Awesome Aries is asked what’s next for him since the BFG series is over. Aries says he’s going out to the ring to let everyone know. Cue commercial break.
When we return from commercial, they show a clip of Hogan from earlier today when he was asked about the Dixie/AJ situation.
Back in the arena, Aries makes his way to the ring. He says that people have been wondering what’s next for him. He said last year he was headlining BFG with Jeff Hardy, but this year, that’s not the case. He says that whether or not he’s headlining, he’s always the main event. He says that his future is looking just fine, and then some weird music hits, and HOLY SHIT IT’S KENNY KING!! I forgot all about him. He says that Aries takes credit for making headlines, but the headlines King remembered were about King winning the X-Division title, then having it stolen from him by Chris Sabin, then by Aries who was dressed up as Manik. This leads to a nice back and forth between Aries and King, where King gave this line: “Maybe ten years ago you were Generation Next, but what you’re looking at in front of you is the Next Generation of wrestling.” That was an awesome line. And just as I was thinking that this is going to be a good feud, King attacks Aries, and then bails, which leads to Aries calling for a referee, because he wants a match right now. Brian Hebner comes out and apparently we are going to have a match. But first, a commercial.
Match 2: Kenny King vs. Awesome Aries
When we return, King is already busted open. The announcers say it happened during the commercial, but no replay is shown. The match was fun to see, but the finish confused me. Aries won clean with the brainbuster, which is cool, but I would have had King get DQ’d which would have led to a good build to a match at BFG. What do I know? I’m just a simple blogger.
After a commercial, they show a video package of Lei’D Tapa, who is coming apparently. She was a Tough Enough participant over the summer and is the niece of The Barbarian.
Aries is walking in the back and he happens to bump into Chris Sabin. What a coincidence. Sabin is all delusional heel status, as he takes credit for making the X-Division what it was, and having a more memorable World Title win than Aries. Aries ripped Sabin by saying that all Sabin did was get his ass kicked for fifteen minutes before hitting Bully with a hammer. That’s exactly what happened. Sabin says that he is going to become a record setting seven-time X-division champion, and become greater than the “Greatest Man That Ever Lived!” Sabin walks away, and Aries teases showing up to the match later.
They show MEM in the back, getting ready for their match. Magnus is all bummed. Joe asks why, and Magnus says that he’s pissed off at EGO for interfering in his BFG series match, and hitting him with a bat last week. Sting tells him that the reason they got this group together is to eliminate A&E and they are almost there. Way to care, Sting.
After a commercial, they show a recap of the Dixie heel turn, before Hogan’s music hits. He gets a huge pop, which I hate because he thinks it means something more than “hey, I remember him!” Hogans says that he’s been here for four years, and for the last two he’s been GM. He says that in his 35 years, he’s seen a lot of shit go down, but dirty laundry should never be aired in public. Wait, 35 years and he doesn’t realize that wrestling is nothing but dirty laundry aired in public? He asks if the crowd wants AJ to stay with TNA. They all cheer, so Hogan asks again. I guess he’s deaf. They cheer again, and Hogan says that later tonight he will call AJ out and fix this whole thing. Why not just do it now? I am going to reserve my thoughts on Hogan until next week’s review.
After a commercial, there’s a vignette that tells us that “Ethan” is coming. I have no idea who the hell that is. Then AJ Styles is shown telling us he has no problem hearing Hogan out.
Then we have what Mike Tenay called a “very special” X-Division title match. Very special? Is this the one were Manik and Sabin visit the bike shop?
Match 3: Sabin vs. Manik for the X-Division Championship
This match was odd. It was a perfectly fine match, however, as a title match, it kind of sucked. Even the announcers seemed uninterested in the match, but then again, they always seem that way. Sabin is still trying to find his heel character, and I’m not sure what the deal is with him and Velvet. He turned heel by jumping Manik last week, but acts shocked when Sabin attacks Manik after Manik beat him. Aries ran out to save Manik. Thanks for coming, Kenny King. I’m down for an Aries/Sabin feud, but something tells me that they messed up by not doing Aries/King first.
Backstage, Knux, Wes, and Baby Bisch were trying to get each other for their match later. There is so much bad acting here; I thought I was watching a late night movie on cable. Wes Brisco is particularly bad. He’s like a poor man’s Batista.
After a commercial, EGO is shown watching a video package of Kurt Angle’s return to TNA at BFG. The conversation turns to Magnus and his losing ways, and Kaz says it would be great if he lost again, and that it could even damage…his ego! He even did the Dr. Evil pinky-to-the-mouth motion. Daniels and Kaz then proceeded to do giant evil laughs, while Roode looked at them like they were crazy. Then this comedy gem:
Daniels: Come on dude, Maniacal Laugh!
Roode: Stares blankly
…I guess you had to be there. Trust me, laughs were guffawed.
Then A&E hit the ring and we have our next match.
Match 4: MEM vs. A&E
To amend what I said earlier, apparently the stipulation is whoever gets pinned in this match is gone from A&E, which is kind of the way I wanted them to go out, but I don’t like that Bully all of a sudden doesn’t give a shit about them anymore. Watching this match, I kept hoping that Garett would take the fall, but alas, it was everyone’s favorite Brisco, Wes, who tapped out to Samoa Joe. Wow, if I was a member of A&E, I would not want to be associated with this bunch of losers. I know that the story is the demise of A&E, but after Magnus was taken out by EGO yet again, the three of them couldn’t gang up on Joe and the Aging Icon? I’d just walk right the hell out.
After the match, Bully came out berating Wes for tapping out and demanded that Wes give up his cut. Wes doesn’t want to hand it over, and Bully demands that Garett and Knux take Wes’ cut. They hesitate, so Bully drops Wes with a piledriver. Garett picks up the cut and Bully demands that Knux hand over the cut. After some teased tension, Knux shoves the cut into Bully’s chest, then he and Garett help Wes up, and the segment gets cut off in the middle. And thus ends the push of Wes Brisco. I hope.
After a commercial, Hogan is already standing in the ring. He says it’s time to handle business, so he calls out AJ Styles. Hogan all of a sudden becomes a little girl and starts gushing about how much he wants to keep AJ and offers him a new contract. After a short pause to show some fans mugging for the camera, AJ signs the new contract, which cues Dixie Carter. Dixie turns her attention to Hulk, and thanks Hogan for all he has done, but despite all that Hogan is “just and employee” and Hogan is much more than that, She tells AJ that Hogan may see some value in “The Phenomally Marginal One” but she doesn’t, and she tears up the new contract. AJ gets all mad, and Dixie throws him out of the ring. She then gets all “Evil Millionaire” and starts saying the fans are beneath her, especially the ones that have criticized her on twitter, and that she affords them the luxury of entering the world she created. She then tells Hogan that they both now how to get the company to the next level, but Hogan has one week to decide if he’s going to be part of Team Dixie. She leaves and Hogan ponders his future as Impact ends.
I love the shit out of Heel Dixie. It’s almost as if she’s been dying to try this out, and is really giving it everything she’s got. Sure, there are a few hiccups, but she’s really into her new character. As for the rest of the show, it was pretty good. I loved the return of Kenny King, but not so much the loss. He has a lot to offer TNA, and he should be used more often. I also love the EGO group, especially with Roode as the Moe to Daniels and Kaz’ Larry and Curly. Lastly, I think that EY is going to be the guy who finally awakens the beast that lies dormant within Joseph Park. Seriously, if they don’t do something soon, they better just drop the whole thing. It’s gone on way longer than it should have.
Until next time, that’s all I got.