WTF: TNA Impact Wrestling 01/19/12 by Marc B.
WTF: TNA IMPACT REVIEW FOR 1/19/12 By Marc B.Welcome everybody to your Sunday delight, your fix of mediocrity, the latest edition of WTF! I want to congratulate James Storm on the birth of his new son, Mason James. He was born earlier this week, and is already more talented than Garett Bischoff. On with the review!Impact opens the same way as it does every week, with a recap of whatever the main event feud is, so they recap the Jeff Hardy/Bobby Roode matches from Genesis and Impact last week. I didn’t see the Genesis match, but last week’s match was fantastic. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Even the ending was done ok, because it was foreshadowed earlier in the evening, so it fit.<!--more-->After the video, we are greeted by The Cowboy, James Storm. I say this every week, but Storm has become my reason to watch Impact. He is absolutely fantastic right now. When they split Beer Money, everyone assumed that Bobby Roode would be the biggest star, and while Roode has held the World title for a couple of months now, he has been a generic champion, while Storm has really established his character well. Even his theme song sticks out from the usual bland faux-rock that TNA usually gives their talent.Storm says it feels good to be in the Impact Zone as the new #1 contender for the TNA World Title. He says he beat the best wrestler in TNA, Kurt Angle, and now at Against All Odds, he will have his sights set on Bobby Roode. He tells Roode that he is sorry about his damn luck, and is interrupted by Jeff Hardy. Hardy says that he was screwed by Roode at the PPV, and he was screwed last week, so no one gets a shot at Roode until he does. Storm says that in case Hardy forgot, Storm was screwed first, and with all the screwing that Roode has been doing, that he should have a lot of child support. Good line. Roode’s music hits, and out comes Mr. Child Support himself.Roode makes his way to the ring. He says he is flattered that they are bickering over who gets to fight Roode. Roode says that Storm’s stipulation from his match last week was that Storm would become #1 contender to the winner of the Roode/Hardy match from last week, but since they had no winner, Storm’s #1 contendership is null and void. He turns to Hardy and says that while he loves to give to the needy, he already has given Hardy two shots in five days, and Hardy has failed both times, so he doesn’t get any more title shots either. Stings music hits.As Sting makes his way to the ring, I want to say that Sting has grown into this authority figure role, and as long as he stays out of the ring, I’m fine with him. Sting gets on the mic. He congratulates Roode on finding another loophole. He says there is a solution. There will be a #1 contender’s match between Roode and Hardy. He leaves. Good segment. I like that the focus is around these guys. This is a huge step for TNA.After a commercial, we have a short interview with Angelina Love, who is upset that Eric Young put his hands on her last week, so she challenges him to a match tonight, one on one. She tells him to come alone and to leave his boyfriend, ODB, in the back.Back in the Zone, we have our first match.Match 1: Gunner vs. AJ StylesThis was an ok match, nothing special. Gunner has improved, but he has a long way to go. The finish confused me. Daniels came out with Kazarian, instructing Kaz to do what Daniels told him to do, which implies that Kaz is going to interfere in the match. That’s fine. But Flair jumps on the apron to distract the ref, leading to the interference. My question is, why would Flair do that? It just made no sense. It’s not like he knew what was happening. Either way, Gunner won after the interference and hitting a DDT.Match Rating * ½ In the back, Magnus is in the back with Samoa Joe. He says he is ready to fight Crimson tonight. Surprise! Crimson is right behind him. Crimson says that they could fight now, but Morgan says to beat his ass in the ring.After a commercial, Bully Ray is in the back with Sting. Bully says that he hasn’t lost a match since he has been a singles wrestler. Is that true? I don’t know. Sting says that Bully screwed Hardy, so he gets no favors from Sting, and that means no title shot. He tells Bully Ray that the next time Bully wants to talk he has to make an appointment. Bully gets mad, and says the following line, which I swear I am not making up:“An appointment? Who the hell are you that I need an appointment? I’m freaking Bully Ray. I do what I want when I want. And if it’s an appointment you want….fine you got it.” Don’t ever change, Bully.In the Zone, we have our next match.Match 2: Magnus vs. CrimsonThe match was a minute. Crimson won. Yawn.Match Rating (DUD)Post-match, Samoa Joe comes in and attacks Crimson. He also throws the referee down. Magnus joins in on the beatdown, but Morgan comes in for the save. It doesn’t last long, as Joe and Magnus take him out as well. They beat up the champs and leave them out in the ring. The good thing about this? There is a story surrounding the Tag Team Titles. The bad? The beatdown lasted longer than the match.Backstage, Eric Young has an encounter with a caterer, who he mistakes for a Bellator Fighter, and a cyborg. Yes. You read that right. ODB come over and says he is going to beat Angelina Love tonight. He says his mother told him to never hit a woman. ODB tells him to be a man. Wait, what? This is the message TNA is sending? Be a man – hit a woman. Thanks TNA!After a commercial, they show a clip of a piece of wood talking to a piece of shit. Oh that’s Garett and Eric Bischoff. My bad. The clip is from last week. I am bored. The clip turns out to be a training montage video for the little Bisch. It’s awful. He’s awful. Where the fuck is Petey Williams? That has nothing to do with anything, my mind just wandered. Sorry.Then they cut to a highlight package for tonight’s cage match between Madison Rayne and Mickie James. They segue that into a backstage segment with Madison, who is rambling, and Gail Kim, who is trying to calm her down. They leave. Commercial time. That was a waste of time. There could have been a match.After the commercial, we have our next match.Match 3: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James in a steel cageThis was an ok cage match. It lagged a bit, but watching two hot women in a cage makes up for it. Mickie got the win, cleanly, in a match I thought would be better, but still a solid effort.Match Rating: ** After a commercial, they show Mickie backstage with Tara and Velvet, and they are celebrating. They decide to go get drunk. Please take me with you.They show an Austin Aries highlight package. He is awesome. I think he can go all the way to World Title status if he wants. After the video, we are greeted by A-Double. He says that once again he has to come out and tell people that he is the best. “You Suck” chant starts, and Aries addresses it by saying: “If I suck so much, how come I am still the champ?” I told you, he’s good. Just ask him, he will tell you how great he is. He says that he has no more competition in Impact Wrestling and that maybe he should sail around the world to find some. People still sail around the world? Ok. A familiar rat-a-tat-tat rings out, and out comes some new guy…no wait, that’s Alex Shelley. ABOUT FUCKING TIME!! You think I’m surprised? Even Tenay was shocked to hear his music. This should be good.I could not put this awesome segment into words. It was fantastic. These two guys were so great in this segment that I am going to post the whole segment for you here.http://youtu.be/mLy4a832U78 Backstage, ODB says that EY will beat up Angelina, and is then attacked by Winter. Yes! Finally! After weeks of waiting here it is! A BRAWL FOR NO REASON!!!! I am a happy bear. Winter leaves ODB laid out.After a commercial, we have our next match.Match 4: Angelina Love vs. Eric YoungThis was not a match. This was a comedy filler segment posing as a match. EY was trying to avoid locking up with Angelina, even going as far as locking up with the referee – twice. Angelina gets angry, and kicks EY in the nuts. She get’s disqualified and then she and Winter attack a fallen EY. ODB comes out for the save, but she gets beat up as well. Finally EY gets to his feet and throws Winter and Angelina out of the ring. ODB gets up and she kisses EY. Yay?Match Rating: (DUD)Backstage interview time with James Storm, who says that he has been here since day one, and it’s his time now. He looks at Hardy as an obstacle, and he won’t let Jeff stand in his way. He says he is prepared for Jeff, and that it’s time for him to prove that he can carry the company. He can. Pull the trigger already.After a commercial, we have our Main Event.Match 5: Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm to determine the #1 Contender to the World TitleThis was a good match, but due to the fact that TNA can’t have a clean finish to a main event, the match ended up a no contest. Here’s what happened: The match is going good, more of a brawl than I would expect, and then Storm hits a superplex on Hardy. Then, Bully Ray came in and attacked everyone – including the referee – with his chain. Sting runs out with a bat and chases Bully Ray away. Then Bobby Roode comes in and attacks Storm and Hardy with his belt. He announces that the match is a no-contest, and he is still your World Heavyweight Champion.Match Rating: ** ½ Final Analysis:This was an ok episode this week. There were a couple of filler matches, which I am not a fan of, and they pulled the old “splice in a match” routine with the cage match. The crowd changes, just look. I think little things like that make the company look weak. TNA has been going in the right direction. I am glad that they brought back Alex Shelley, and the main event scene is being established well. I am not too mad at the schmozz finish because it made sense. That’s encouraging. I think the promos are getting better and everyone has really gown into their characters well. I just wish the announcers could be better, and that the show didn’t suffer from an overall sense of apathy.Overall Rating: 5.5/10Do you have any Questions or Comments? Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or you can follow me on Twitter @FozzieMB.