Hey peeps! Welcome back to THE Main Event Review. This week you get two for the price of one as I missed last week’s episode to work on another project. We’ve got the March 20th and March 27th episodes on tap so let’s get started.
WWE Main Event 3/20/13
The show opens up with R-Truth heading to the ring. That always brings excitement to my heart. The announcers are the duo of Michael Cole and The Miz. R-Truth’s opponent in tonight’s feature bout is the Intercontinental Champion, Wade Barrett. As Wade makes his way to the ring they show highlights from his successful title defense against Miz and Chris Jericho from the previous RAW. Both men are in the ring and we are ready for action.
Wade Barrett pinned R-Truth (*3/4)
They worked about ten minutes with a commercial thrown in. How I long for the days that the Main Event went over twenty minutes and featured guys I would actually pay to see. I’m not Truth’s biggest fan but he showed good energy when he was on offense and saved the match from being a total bust. Barrett swung the match in his favor after he pulled Truth by the arm causing him to go throat first into the top rope. Wade followed that up with The Bull Hammer and that was all she wrote in this one. Hey, look at that. A champion won a non-title match. What a novel idea.
After the match, Wade got a microphone and says that no one laughs at the Barrett Barrage because it’s bloodthirsty trench warfare. What? Wade gloats about his win on RAW and gets in Miz’s face. He shoves Miz back into his chair and Miz goes after him chasing him away. It looks like these two will do battle at WrestleMania. It could be worse. Snooki could have another match.
Next, they show the Triple H/Brock Lesnar contract signing from RAW. I’m sure the match will be an entertaining brawl but why should I care that a guy that wrestles twice a year has to put his career on the line?
Sheamus is with my favorite (please note an inflection of sarcasm here) announcer ever, Matt Striker. Striker wants to know if Sheamus wants The Big Show on his team against The Shield at WrestleMania. He says Show would make a great partner but he can’t trust him so he’ll ask Show to be on the team when sheep fly out of his arse. That’s an interesting visual.
The upcoming Divas tag team match is turning into a train wreck before the bell even rings. Alicia Fox (and if you knew she was still in WWE, good for you) starts talking about a trip the Divas took to Rwanda and says she took more out of the trip because all Natalya did was complain about missing The Great Khali. Natalya gets angry and goes after Fox and the bell rings. Thank goodness, let’s just get this mess over with.
Natalya and Layla beat Alicia Fox and Aksana (*)
The match wasn’t that bad. I’ll give the girls some degree of credit but poor Natalya. She deserves a lot better than this. The highlight of the match was when Layla spanked Aksana and then slammed her ass into Aksana’s face. In the end Alicia tapped to Natalya’s Sharpshooter after four minutes.
It’s time for The RAW Rebound where CM Punk said a bad word while tossing around The Undertaker’s urn.
The Usos beat The Primetime Players (**1/4)
Fun tag team match between two very underutilized tag teams. I really liked the aggression the Players showed while they were on offense and the crowd and the match had good energy when the Usos were on offense. Hopefully, post WrestleMania these two teams will have a bigger role in the tag team division. Pick your Uso and that one hit Darren Young with the Superfly Splash to pick up the win after 12 minutes.
The show ends with the announcers hyping The Rock’s return to RAW.
The Verdict- SKIP IT
Before we get to the next episode of Main Event I’d like to plug a few things. If you are a WWE action figure collector like me, I ask that you subscribe to my YouTube channel and check out my new series simply called Christian Michael’s Figure Review where I review WWE figures and try to have a little fun along the way. So far I have uploaded four episodes with more to come on an almost daily basis. Here are the first four episodes
Episode #1: WWE Mattel Survivor Series Heritage The Rock
Episode #2: WWE Mattel Basic Series 27 Antonio Cesaro
Episode #4: WWE Mattel Basic Series 27 Ryback
Also, last week right here on TJR I wrote The Ten Biggest Stars of WrestleMania. I’m very happy with how it turned out and the feedback I have received on it. If you haven’t read it yet, please do so.
WWE Main Event 3/27/13
The show opens with the stage catching on fire which means Kane is on his way to the ring. He is flanked by his Tag Team Championship partner, Daniel Bryan. Bryan will be joining Michael Cole and The Miz on commentary for the match. The United States Champion, Antonio Cesaro is Kane’s opponent tonight and before the match he gives us some culture by what sounds like him yodeling. That was um, interesting.
If there’s going to be an Antonio Cesaro match and Daniel Bryan is at ringside that should be a crime. I’d love to see those two go at it for 15 minutes. I’ll settle for Kane vs. Cesaro because it’s a lot better than what this show has been producing recently.
Kane pinned Antonio Cesaro (***1/4)
This was a very entertaining wrestling match. It was nice to see Main Event return to what made it fun in the beginning, a nice long wrestling match. Yodeling aside, I have a man crush on Antonio Cesaro. The man is simply awesome in the ring. It’s a damn shame all he does is lose and doesn’t have a match for WrestleMania. Could you image him vs. Chris Jericho in a 15 minute bout at WrestleMania? He’s the type of guy Jericho should make into a star. Not that doofus Fandango.
Cesaro’s uppercut counter to Kane’s top rope clothesline was great and he showed tremendous power by walking around with Kane and just tossing him like yesterday’s trash in a gutwrench suplex. Kane is a very reliable veteran and he can have good matches with good wrestlers as was evident here. Kane was looking for the Chokeslam when New Jersey’s favorite skipping crazy chick, AJ skipped down to the ring. This led to a funny moment when Daniel Bryan stopped her from skipping by standing in front of her screaming “NO”. This looked to be the downfall of Kane as Cesaro had Kane set up in the Neutralizer but Kane counter and hit the Chokeslam for the win after 17 minutes.
While I wish Bryan and Dolph Ziggler had bigger roles at WrestleMania, I do like the fact the WWE is building part of this feud around the fact that AJ used to be with Bryan and Kane. It’s storyline continuity and that’s something WWE doesn’t always do.
In a bit of breaking but obvious news, Miz announces that he will challenge Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania.
For the second week in a row, Sheamus is in the back with Matt Striker. Fella Boy admits to being selfish when he said he didn’t want The Big Show on his team at WrestleMania. He says that if he, Randy Orton and Show get on the same page that The Shield will be in for the fight of their lives.
Naomi and Cameron pop out onto the stage and announce that the Tensai/Brodus Clay tag team is named “Tons of Funk”. I doubt someone burned themselves out thinking of that name.
Team Rhodes Scholars accompany The Bellas to the ring as the next match will be The Bellas vs. Naomi and Cameron. We learn of some more breaking but obvious news as Team Rhodes Scholars and The Bellas will be facing Tons of Funk and The Funkadactyls at WrestleMania. When that match is on, you’ll find me searching MetLife Stadium for a souvenir and a place to take a leak.
The Bellas beat Cameron and Naomi (*)
I’ll say this, that wasn’t bad. It was short but very enjoyable. All four Divas played their roles well. The Bellas did well as the bitchy bullies they are and the Funkadactyls, especially Naomi showed great athleticism. After a running enziguri by Naomi, she got distracted by Cody Rhodes. Pick your Bella and that one rolled up Naomi for the win after three minutes. The rollup was botched but I won’t let that take away from a pretty good performance by the Divas.
The show ends with a replay of The Rock and John Cena’s Hall of Fame Q&A from RAW. I thought The Rock was on fire during this and this was probably his best moment since returning in January. Cena on the other hand was ok but he acted very heelish if you ask me. It was to the point where I could see him losing at WrestleMania and then completely snapping after the match or the next night on RAW. It’s been ten years, something has to give with this guy’s character sooner or later! Bret Hart’s reaction to all of this? 4/10.
The Verdict- SEE IT
(That’s what she said.)
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