Welcome back peeps to THE Main Event Review. It’s our usual double dip with reviews of the June 19th and 26th episodes. Main Event has been on a roll lately so let’s see if the show can keep it going.

 

WWE Main Event 6/19/13

The show opens up with a recap of the previous Sunday’s Payback PPV. After the opening video plays, we see The Shield (yay) make their way to the ring and then we are greeted by the once again changed announce team of The Miz, Josh Mathews and Cody Rhodes (boo). The Shield will battle The Usos and Justin Gabriel in a Six Man Tag Match.

The Shield beat The Usos and Justin Gabriel (**1/4)

This was a perfectly acceptable TV tag team match. It was nowhere near the awesomeness that has been The Shield’s matches in the past. READY PEEPS?!!? It’s time for PICK YOUR USO! That’s the one that took the babyface beatdown. He got the hot tag to Gabriel. Things got out of hand and Gabriel went up top for the 450 Splash but Dean Ambrose crotched him and hit the Headlock Driver (that move really needs a name) for the win after nine minutes.

The one thing I noticed during the match had nothing to do with the guys in the ring. It’s how damn annoying Miz is on commentary. He needs to go. Without Michael Cole out there it’s like he and Mathews are having a contest to see who can be more annoying. Cody Rhodes and his mustache on the other hand were very good.

After the commercial break, they recap CM Punk’s win at Payback and then getting a F5 from Brock Lesnar the next night on RAW.

Antonio Cesaro comes out for a match with Sin Cara. Cesaro’s new mouthpiece, Zeb Colter comes out spewing the same nonsense he did about Sin Cara when Sin Cara would face Jack Swagger. Cesaro has stolen Swagger’s job of being the “We the People” guy.

Antonio Cesaro pinned Sin Cara (**1/4)

Does anyone remember Barry Horowitz having his own light show during his matches? No? I didn’t think so. Jobbers shouldn’t get their own lighting! Sin Cara is the 2013 Barry Horowitz. The only difference is one is Jewish and one is Mexican.

This was another perfectly acceptable TV match. We’ve seen these two have this same match about a dozen times since Cesaro has been in WWE. Sin Cara got some offense in after the commercial break but Cesaro gained control after tossing Sin Cara into the air and then hitting his devastating uppercut. That was part one of the Trifecta of Doom! Part two is the crazy spinning neck crank then it was part three, The Neutralizer and that was all she wrote after ten minutes

Kaitlyn defeated Aksana (RME)

RME you ask? Stands for Read My Emails. Getting spam on how I can save on my car insurance if I moved to a Native American Reservation and claimed I was a member of former WWE Superstar Tatanka’s tribe was way more entertaining than this match. I did check to see if Kaitlyn’s boobs popped out again. They didn’t. She won with The Spear.

The show ended with Mark Henry’s “retirement speech” and subsequent attack on John Cena from the previous RAW.

The Verdict- SKIP IT

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WWE Main Event 6/26/13

The opening credits roll and then Chris Jericho makes his way down to the ring. This episode is looking good already. Buzz killed. Josh Mathews and The Miz are the commentary team. I’m going to attempt to watch this show on mute. Cody Rhodes is Jericho’s opponent tonight and we jump right into the action.

Chris Jericho beat Cody Rhodes via Submission (***)

Fun match. It was a little slow in the beginning but they turned it up nicely toward the end. Cody dominated much of the match after poking Jericho in the eye and then focused his attention on injuring Jericho’s eye further. Rhodes threw everything he had at Jericho, an impressive moonsault, the Alabama Slam and the Beautiful Disaster Kick. Jericho survived all of them. Cody kept pushing and I really thought he had the win after he hit Cross Rhodes but Y2J kicked out and then hit the Code Breaker but Cody got his foot on the ropes. Jericho went for the Lionsault but missed and then Cody rolled him up for another long two count. Cody began to taunt Jericho by kicking him in the face but Jericho grabbed a leg and slapped on the Walls of Jericho and got the tap out after twelve minutes.

Next up, Antonio Cesaro and Zeb Colter came out. The show took place from South Carolina so Colter started going on about how he didn’t know what a Gamecock was and then he spewed his usual nonsense. Not a damn thing he says in any of his promos is different from any of the promos he’s ever done. Then Cesaro took the mic and said that he came to America the right way and that he is the personification of the American Dream.

Look, you all know I love Cesaro but this stuff with Colter is downright boring. The ironic thing is that reports said that WWE management found Cesaro boring and that’s why they stuck him with Colter. Well, WWE management is an asshole. I don’t like to curse in my columns but I think it’s warranted here. Seeing Cesaro used to be a bright spot on WWE programming. Now, it just makes me angry because we’re going to have to listen to Colter and that garbage for five minutes.

Christian defeated Dean Ambrose via Disqualification (*1/4)

This was just a taste, a tease if you will of the awesome matches these two are seemingly going to be involved in. As soon as Christian gained control of the match, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns hit the ring causing the DQ after four minutes. Christian received some backup in the form of the Number One Contenders for the Tag Team Championships, The Usos. The Usos cleared the ring of The Shield and sent the Hounds of Justice into retreat mode.

Next was a recap of the on goings between CM Punk and Paul Heyman.

The Primetime Players come out for a tune-up match before they face CM Punk and Curtis Axel on RAW. They are facing Tons of Funk who now have a third Diva, 19 year old Jo Jo sing their theme song. If you’re wondering why Jo Jo is out there it is because she needs some TV time before the Total Divas show debuts in a few weeks.

(Note from John: I had to edit that singing in because it was pretty awful.)

The Primetime Players beat Tons of Funk (3/4*)

I love the Players but they need a finishing move. They won after Brodus Clay missed a splash in the corner and it seemed as if Darren Young pulled his shoulder into the ring post. Then Titus made the cover and Young held Clay’s leg down to get the three count after four minutes. The whole thing just came off as awkward.

The Verdict- SEE IT

 

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