After a very entertaining Elimination Chamber PPV, I welcome you back to THE Main Event Review. So, put down that joint and join me, won’t you?
The Miz is back as Michael Cole’s announce partner. Blah. The duo begins to discuss Alberto Del Rio’s successful title defense from the PPV and this brings out the man he beat, The Big Show. The World’s Largest Athlete is upset to say the least. He says he has been made to look like a joke the past couple of weeks because of Booker T. Show says he’ll destroy the whole locker room and challenges someone to laugh in his face. This brings out The Usos. What? That was less than exciting. The twin brothers enter the ring and we are set for action.
The Big Show beat The Usos (*)
The Usos didn’t have to tag in and out during this match. This was barely above a squash as The Usos did get some offense in with a double suplex and then double superkick. I guess Show got tired of playing around and won with a double Chokeslam at the three minute mark.
Show barely had time to celebrate his victory when the music for Brodus Clay played and we now have ourselves another match.
The Big Show pinned Brodus Clay (*)
These two behemoths went ten minutes. Yikes says my brain. Looking for a wrestling hold in this match was like looking for Easter Eggs in your living room in July. Did that make sense? Forgive me if it didn’t. I just watched Brodus Clay and The Big Show in a ten minute match. Lots and lots of headbutts and punches in this match. Clay thought he had the match won after hitting his big splash on Show but Show kicked out. Clay then charged Show in the corner but ate a right hand and that was all she wrote in this one.
Don’t relax Big Show. Here comes The Great Khali. Am I being punished tonight? Geez.
The Big Show defeated The Great Khali via Count Out (3/4*)
I didn’t hate this as much as I thought I would. That’s probably because as this match was going on Jack Swagger stopped by my house for a visit and now I’m feeling mellow, man. Get it Melo Man? Come on people what do you want from me? It’s a Big Show/Great Khali match. Khali hit Show with his ridiculously stupid chop that I wish Show would have no-sold. That would have been awesome. Things spilled to the floor and as Khali tried to get back in the ring, Show hit the KO Punch and Khali was counted out after eight minutes.
Things aren’t over for the giant yet as The Miz stands up from the announce desk and says he’s going to step up and take the challenge. Miz has felt slighted this whole broadcast because Show made some inflammatory remarks about him as he made his way to the ring.
The Miz and Big Show didn’t actually have a match as referee never entered the ring. Miz showed some good babyface fire in taking Show off his feet and chasing him out of the ring. Miz is a good babyface in the ring. It is his promos that cause people to hate him even more than when he was a heel. Once Show was out of the ring, he decided he had enough and headed back to the locker room.
Look, this gauntlet that Show ran wasn’t filled with guys that will make Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels jealous but it did display Show as a beast and aside from that you should give the big man credit. He wrestled three matches and was out there for some 22-23 minutes. That wouldn’t be easy for anyone let alone a guy his age and size.
It’s RAW Rewind time as we see The Rock unveil the new WWE Championship belt. I don’t hate it. It’ll take some getting used to and by SummerSlam we won’t even think of it as an issue anymore. What I will say is that I find it odd that we are about six weeks away from WrestleMania where even Ray Charles can see that John Cena is winning back the WWE Championship. I don’t know why they chose now to bring out the new belt when the spinner is Cena’s belt and he is going to be champ again real soon. I thought it would’ve been better to debut a new belt with CM Punk after he turned heel in the summer.
They also recap Brad Maddox being named Vickie Guerrero’s assistant on RAW and lucky us Mr. Maddox is with Matt Striker. Maddox and Striker do the old Dwight Schrute routine where Maddox thinks he’s the assistant manager but he is reminded that he is just the assistant to the manager and then they go back and forth. I found it funny the first time I saw it on The Office. Maddox says this is a new era in WWE and that this is going to the biggest era in the WWE’s history and it is the Brickie era. What? Get ready to hear the 148 times on RAW this week.
After Maddox Cole says Jack Swagger is going to WrestleMania to battle for the “world tire”. This could have been a slip up but after recent events I don’t see Swagger wrestling for the World Title anymore so maybe the “world tire” is something he’ll battle Cheech and Chong for in this year’s celebrity match. They show the video he and Zeb Colter did that was aired on RAW.
We head to the back where Matt Striker is now with Justin Gabriel. Gabriel is facing Titus O’Neil tonight and The Big Deal crashes the interview, does his millions of dollars dance, blows his whistle and reminds us all that he is African, Ok.
Justin Gabriel pinned Titus O’Neil (*1/2)
I like Titus. I like Gabriel. I didn’t like this match. They had the time to work but for whatever reason it didn’t click. I have noticed that Titus has trouble carrying singles matches. He is much more effective in a tag team. Gabriel could be Jeff Hardy lite with the right push. The Capetown Werewolf as Cole referred to him as won with the 450 Splash after nine minutes.
I don’t want to crap all over this show because I feel that becomes redundant but this wasn’t worth the last hour of my life. I still have to watch this week’s The Following and I just got Argo on blu-ray so I’ve got things to do WWE. A Big Show 23 minute gauntlet is not what I’m looking for after seeing Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler having an awesome match last week. This show has lost that special feel it had early on. There’s no Main Event announced at the end of the show so you have something to look forward to next week. They don’t build the competitors up any more making the Main Event feel like something important. Wrestler A comes out and bitches about something. Wrestler B tells him to shut up and that how we get out match. Sound familiar? It should because that’s how every other damn WWE show operates. I’ll give the 2/20 edition of WWE Main Event a 3/10 and that might be a little generous. I need some cheering up. Where’s Jack Swagger? I’m sorry. That’s the last one. I promise.
(That’s what she said.)
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Thank you for reading.