Welcome back my friends to THE Main Event Review. Let’s get right into it.
It cracks me up that The Rock, the WWE Champion is not featured in the opening video for Main Event. I know you have a better chance of walking into your kitchen and seeing Jesus and Hitler playing poker than seeing The Rock on Main Event but not even one quick shot of The Champion? They even added Chris Jericho this week. I don’t get it. It’s not a big deal, just thought I’d throw that out there.
The commentary team for Main Event this week is JBL and Michael Cole. This should be the commentary team every week. The Miz is probably out to sell the fact that Brock Lesnar killed him on RAW this past Monday.
Cody Rhodes heads to the ring for a match but he is none too happy. He says this show is becoming a farce and he is upset that he is not in the Elimination Chamber Match. He says that he has been waiting six years to become World Champion. He says the six men in the Elimination Chamber Match are former Champions which means they are six failures and he wants his shot. He grabs a chair and sits in it in the ring and says he is not going anywhere until he is put in the Elimination Chamber Match. This brings out Sheamus, who is Cody’s opponent tonight. Cody does some really bad impression of Sheamus which was actually funny because it was so bad. After some bantering back and forth Sheamus does bad impressions of Booker T and Vickie Guerrero. They weren’t funny like Cody’s. Cody says there are people in the back that owe the Rhodes family some favors and he’ll call for them if he has to. If that’s the case then why hasn’t he done it sooner to get a World Title Match? Sheamus takes this to mean that Cody is going to go to Vince McMahon and Sheamus does his impression of Vince’s “you’re fired” which leads Cody to punch Fella Boy. Can’t say I blame Cody. Sheamus slugs him back and Cody bails as we head to commercial.
Things were going fine with Cody’s promo until Sheamus showed up. Cody showed some fire and desire to be a World Champion. That’s great because I still think he’ll attain that goal at some point. Sheamus needs to go the Brock Lesnar route of less talking and more destroying. In the ring I love Sheamus. He’s proven that he can have great matches but on the mic, especially as a babyface he’s horrendous. He almost makes you yearn for John Cena’s poop jokes. Almost.
Sheamus pinned Cody Rhodes (***)
Fun match that went about 14 minutes. That’s short by Main Event standards. The outcome was never in doubt in this one though. It’s hard to really think Cody had a realistic shot of winning this match after doing two minutes job to Cena and Alberto Del Rio on the last two episodes of RAW. The fight spilled to the outside and Sheamus hit a fallaway slam on Cody and threw him into the security wall. Ouch. When things got back in the ring, Cody had one shot to win the match. Sheamus went to the top for his shoulder tackle and Cody met him up there with the Beautiful Disaster kick. Cody got a two count and that was the last time he was a threat in the match as it was the Sheamus special of White Noise and The Brogue Kick for the win.
Damien Sandow comes to the ring for his match with Daniel Bryan but on his way he says that it is a travesty that his best friend, Cody Rhodes will not be in the Elimination Chamber Match. Damien says he will avenge Cody by defeating Bryan. If these two are going to still reference each other and be BFFs then why the hell did they split them up? I thought they had a run as Tag Team Champions before splitting up. That could have been pretty entertaining.
Damien Sandow beat Daniel Bryan (NR)
This wasn’t really a match, it was done to further the Kane/Daniel Bryan problems. Kane came down to the ring and his entrance nearly cost Bryan the match as Sandow got a two count with a roll up. Bryan hit some kicks on Sandow and then Kane set off his pyro which did cost Bryan the match as it allowed Sandow to hit his neckbreaker and gain the win after two whole minutes.
Oh boy. Brodus Clay is in the back eating cake when Tamina Snuka and Aksana offer to be his new dancers. Of course this brings out the Funkadactyls. Things get weird as Aksana calls Naomi “Kofi” and then they throw food at each other. Awful. Just Awful.
It’s time for the RAW Rewind where they take a look at Cena, Sheamus and Ryback’s brawl with The Shield. Then they show exclusive footage of Cena challenging The Shield to a six man tag at the PPV. The match has been confirmed but it is not in the Elimination Chamber like I had hoped. Reports coming out are that WWE didn’t want the match to be in the Chamber because they didn’t want five guys that are booked so strong to be beaten. That’s a cop out. Someone has to get pinned in the normal six man and that guy could easily be the guy to lose in the Chamber Match. The match doesn’t have to be an elimination match. Once all six guys are in the ring then pins can occur. I think it’s a mistake and really robbed the fans of something unique and that would have been really entertaining.
The Funkadactyls defeated Aksana and Tamina (*)
This wasn’t that bad because the Funkadactyls actually have some semblance of wrestling skill. With more seasoning they could actually be decent enough for the fans to actually care about. Brodus was on commentary on he was so bad. How bad was he? He was so bad that I can’t even finish the joke. Naomi pinned Aksana for the win after four minutes.
Clay and his ladies danced to end the show.
There was a little bit of Main Event history this week as we saw out first Divas Match on Main Event this week and the first time Main Event had three bouts. I hope that the show doesn’t stick with three matches. The show works best when the Main Event goes twenty minutes+ then they do the RAW Rewind and come back for the second match that goes 10-12 minutes.
The Sheamus/Rhodes match and Cody’s promo was good. Everything else on the show, please leave it at the door. The 2/6 edition of Main Event gets a 5/10.
(That’s what she said.)
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Thank you for reading.