Welcome back to THE Main Event Review. I am your host, Christian Michael. The show’s opening video now features The Undertaker but still no sign of the WWE Champion. The announcers for tonight’s show are The Miz and Michael Cole. Ricardo Rodriguez is on the entrance ramp which means that the World Heavyweight Champion will be in action.
Alberto Del Rio feels like doing a little talking before his match. Lucky us. He says he has a big smile on his face because he’s about to show us something. He says that even though “Jackie’s” comments are hurtful they are sometimes funny and he’ll show us. Then they play the stupid ADR/RR parody video for a THIRD F’N TIME!!! WWE acts like this is the funniest thing ever and it’s so stupid. Instead of airing that crap three times why not make another video? I’d rather watch new crap than the same crap three times. Del Rio says he needs to get down to business tonight because he has a very big opponent tonight and cue The Big Show’s music.
I like Del Rio in the ring. He’s a great worker. He was even a good talker as a heel. Since his babyface turn his promos have been freakin horrendous. I don’t know if it’s because he can’t give a good babyface promo or it’s because the writing team is getting their ideas from an actual Mexican jackass but I cringe when I see a microphone in his hand.
The Big Show beat Alberto Del Rio via Count Out (*1/4)
This was very short for Main Event standards going only eight minutes. The World Heavyweight Champion was in control early when he hit the Backstabber on Show. At this point, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter came down to the ringside area to get a closer look. The show went to commercial and when it came back, Big Show was now in control. Del Rio used some lucha offense to get back into it and had the Cross Arm Breaker locked in on the big man in the ropes. Show used his strength to drop ADR on the apron causing him to fall to the floor. While on the floor, his WrestleMania opponent got an even closer look at the action when he chop blocked Del Rio. This was enough to keep the Champion from getting back in the ring and Big Show was awarded the count out victory.
This was really a nothing match designed to put more heat on Swagger for being a jerk for costing Del Rio a match. The problem is that WWE never mentions anything on Main Event so why they would further a Top Four WrestleMania match on this show is beyond me.
The Usos beat Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater (*1/4)
Solid tag team action for the four minutes they got. Drew worked with bandaged ribs after being treated like a human crash test dummy by Ryback and Mark Henry on RAW. The Usos won with the Superfly Splash and then went out and celebrated and then got arrested. Again. When will these guys learn?
They air the same Rock/Cena video they showed on RAW. Let me say this and upset some more people. I love The Rock, I’ve written a column defending him but I’ve been very disappointed with his comeback this time around and I’ll tell you why. It’s not that I haven’t been entertained by his matches and promos it’s because he is the WWE Champion and he works every other week. We are on the Road to WrestleMania. The WWE Champion has to be on RAW every single week. No excuses, no exceptions. If The Rock wants to come back for a WrestleMania match each year and only work three of the six RAWs that are leading up to the show, I have no problem with it. Just don’t do it as WWE Champion. To me, it cheapens the title that the Champion doesn’t even have to be on the show each week. The thing that pisses me off the most is that all his Tweets and Facebook updates are about the GI Joe movie. It’s like the WWE Championship and WrestleMania are the furthest thing from his mind. You want to promote a movie globally? Fine, as long as you’re not WWE Champion. If he was just in a match like Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania then it wouldn’t matter if he wasn’t there every week. That’s why I don’t care if Brock misses shows on the way to WrestleMania, but when you’re the WWE Champion and in THE main event of WrestleMania you need to be on RAW every week, pushing the hell out of the match and making us care about what is essentially the biggest match of the year. I love ya Rock, but you’re killing me right now.
Speaking of Lesnar, after the Rock/Cena video, they show him destroying the New Age Outlaws and issuing his own challenge to Triple H.
Wade Barrett pinned Justin Gabriel (*1/2)
Gabriel’s offense is a lot of fun and Barrett did a really good job of keeping up with him. The match only got three minutes but it was fun while it lasted. Gabriel tried coming off the second rope but got caught with the Bull Hammer Elbow and was pinned.
After the match, Barrett taunted The Miz as they ready themselves for the Triple Threat Intercontinental Championship Match on RAW that will also include Chris Jericho.
The show ends with a video package highlighting the CM Punk/Undertaker events from RAW. After one week that feud is already infinitely better than anything else going on for WrestleMania.
I would like to wish The Diagnosis the best in its Future Endeavors. As Main Event is presently constructed, it is pretty pointless for me try to come up with a paragraph analyzing the show. Starting next week, after I run through the show I’ll simply say See it or Skip it. If the show was worth watching you’ll see me write “See it”. If the show wasn’t worth watching I’ll write “Skip it”. Simple enough?
Since the matches are short and really aren’t done to further storylines much, I’ll write some thoughts on stuff they show from RAW when I find it suitable so you guys can read something more than just my thoughts on some random, forgettable three minute match.
This is the last number score I’m going to give for Main Event. If the show’s format changes after WrestleMania, then I may go back to analyzing and scoring the show but for now, I don’t see the point in it. The 3/13 Main Event gets a 3/10.
(That’s what she said.)
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Thank you for reading.