Welcome to the WWE Main Event review. As you can see by the banner I am your new reviewer, Brandon Lasher. Christian’s work has been wonderful and I thank him for setting a high standard to live up to in these reviews.
I have always been a big fan of this show. While I miss some of the unique elements of those first shows last October, it constantly is a show with some high quality wrestling. It helps that three of the wrestlers in my banner (Rhodes, Sandow and Cesaro) are constantly on the show. A.J. generally isn’t but I like A.J.
So I love forward to reviewing the WWE’s “C” show for all of you. I also think I am likely the only one on the TJR staff that actually has ION Television so I got the job! Let’s begin the show. How many times will The Miz mention he is the host of Summerslam?
WWE Main Event 7/24/13
We got right into it with Sheamus coming to the ring. He is still limping and still sporting quite a bruise. Zeb gives us a “Texas is actual Mexico” speech. He even calls Sheamus an illegal immigrant! Good old-fashioned racism. Someday I need someone explain to me how Cesaro could be a “Real American”. Before the match The Miz said, “The Real Americans just like to hear themselves talk.” Look in the mirror Miz. Look in the Mirror.
Sheamus defeated Jack Swagger (**3/4)
We get many unnecessary shots of Sheamus’ leg. Naturally, Swagger focuses a lot of the bruised leg. It started pretty back and forth, sticking to the corners. Swagger finds new ways to attack Sheamus’ bruise near the announce table and on the steel steps. A little different ring psychology work before we go to our first commercial break.
After the commercial break, we come back to see Swagger twisting the leg of Sheamus. Swagger sees that injured leg and he is going to kick it dammit! Our idiot Swagger turns his back to Sheamus to yell “We the People” allowing Sheamus to gain the momentum. Sheamus turned the momentum around when he isn’t grabbing his leg and tossed Swagger over the top rope. Sheamus might be injured but he can still slap a man ten times in the chest.
They get back into the ring allowing some more bruise hitting by Swagger. Sheamus last a long time in the Patriot Lock for an “injured guy”. Sheamus hits his Brogue Kick out of nowhere and that is it at 13 minutes. Our Irish hero sells the leg injury as he celebrates. A decent match that focused on the injury throughout. Certainly better work from Swagger then we have seen in a while.
Now we get a brief Raw Recap with CM Punk and Paul Heyman. I am already buying the pay-per-view WWE. You don’t need to sell me on the event.
Sin Cara defeated Drew McIntyre (*)
You read that title correctly. I am amazed one of these guys won too. Something has to give in this battle of jobbers. But I think Sin Cara has the built in lighting advantage. Some good acrobatics and kicks by Sin Cara until 3MB had to cheat. Yes, it takes all three members of the Three Man Band to defeat Sin Cara. They are doomed.
Drew, needing help of two other grown men to beat a luchador, gained a momentary advantage but our favorite luchador gained the momentum. I did enjoy the spot where Sin Cara jumps over the rope into the three members of 3MB who simply place him back into the ring. How nice. Sin Cara dropkicked McIntyre to his knees and followed it up with an impressive hurricanrana driving McIntyre into the canvas for the victory. A four-minute match that is little more than a squash match for Sin Cara.
More hype videos for Summerslam showing the events from Raw. They should have just shown the entire Bryan versus Cesaro again. I wouldn’t have complained.
We get our intellectual savior Damien Sandow. I will never get tired of him insulting WWE audiences calling the fans in Texas losers. He discusses the burden of carrying the Money in the Bank. Thanks for doing that for us Damien.
Damien Sandow defeated Justin Gabriel (**)
We come back from our commercial break to see Damien’s opponent, Justin Gabriel. Knowing I haven’t seen him on Raw or Smackdown in a long time, I don’t like his chances. But as is pointed out by our announcers, he does have a new jacket!
A lot of reversals and near falls in the early going. Gabriel is quite good at the very quick reversals. Why he felt the need to go to his 450 Splash s early, leading to Sandow knocking him over the top rope, I will never know. But we did need a commercial break at that moment.
Back from our commercials, Sandow is certainly in control. He resorts to a lot of rest holds and an “Elbow of Disdain”. I am trying to enjoy the match but The Miz keeps discussing how amazing it is he is hosting Summerslam. It is not.
Some good high flying moves by Gabriel. But one mistake running into the corner by Gabriel leads to Sandow hitting the Half Nelson Slam for the win in about nine minutes. A back and forth match that needed some more time to go to that next level.
I am going to simply give the show each week a thumbs up or thumbs down in honor of my favorite critic, Roger Ebert. But I will always give a few thoughts on why.
Not a particularly memorable edition of Main Event. Sin Cara winning a squash match? Bizarre. Sandow and Gabriel needed some more time to build their match. Knowing how often they are on “Main Event” they might get more chances. The highlight was a decent match from Swagger and Sheamus. Decent is the best I could say.
See you next week!
Feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Additionally, I added a Twitter account, WWELasher as well. I would love to hear your thoughts on this Wednesday’s show.