NXT Opening:The Usos are on the entrance stage when NXT starts and immediately perform the Siva Tau, though I swear the one on the right messed up his cue for it. Once they get to the ring the Usos grab some mics and get some cheap pops. Jimmy and Jey work their new Us-O call and response routine until Derrick Bateman randomly interrupts and talks about how Maxine left with Johnny Curtis last week. In typical Pro-Wrestling fashion Bateman mentions that he hasn’t talked to Maxine since last week’s episode. The Usos tell him that she actually left by herself (ok?) and Bateman leaves. Reks and Hawkins come down for a tag match, cause isn’t that just what we wanted to see?The Usos vs Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks:Hawkins has been cleared to wrestle, so sayeth Matt Striker. Hawkins barely dodges an early Uso superkick before tagging in to Tyler Reks. Before we go any further, yes I have seen the Mid-card Mafia cartoon, or part of it at least. The fact that I couldn’t finish it should tell you my opinion of it. The Usos take control and clothesline both heels from the ring in a fun spot that I was hoping would lead to duel planchas but didn’t. Reks decides to take control after Hawkins holds onto Uso A’s ankle. Believe it or not a nearly spontaneous “Uss-Ohh!” chant just broke out in the arena. It must have surprised the wrestlers, because Hawkins and Uso A just messed up a suplex counter spot before the commercial break.Reks hits his Kobashi chop as NXT returns from commercial. Frequent tags from the heels allow them to remain in control of the match. Jey Uso finally hits his stupid spinning headbutt in order to get the hot tag to Jimmy. Jimmy nails the Alley-Uss Samaon Drop and the Umaga splash in the corner but misses a traditional corner splash on Reks, who answers back with a Flatliner into the turnbuckle. Reks hits a clothesline (woo…) before setting Jimmy up for the Burning Hammer. Jimmy counters the move into an impressive bulldog but Hawkins breaks up the pin. Jimmy almost accidentally superkicks Jay but they turn the move into a tag team leg whip on Hawkins and finish Reks off with another superkick followed by a Superfly Splash. The Usos win, after a fun finishing sequence.Derrick Bateman Vignette:Bateman is looking for Maxine backstage but can’t find her. He mistakes a woman’s backside for Maxine, but it ends up being her mother who of course hits on Bateman. Curtis slinks into the camera and Maxine’s mom slaps Bateman in the face just like her daughter. Curtis tells Bateman he wasn’t with Maxine and wouldn’t do that to somebody’s fiancé. As Bateman walks away Curtis mentions that he was with Bateman’s mom last week. Bateman gets pissed and tries to kick Curtis’s ass but random jobbers pull them apart. Angry Bateman amuses me.Titus O’ Neil and Percy Watson vs Darren Young and JTG:If Percy Watson is in a match he will dominate early with his athletic moves. It just happens. Mix it up please. Young shatters Watson’s roll with the Nasty Apron Back Suplex that seemingly never gets old and tags in JTG to work over Watson. JTG does just that, hitting Percy with an interesting cut-throat-ish neckbreaker amongst other moves. Watson flies over JTG in a fresh variation of a sunset flip for a two-count. JTG slaps on a rest-hold to ground Watson, who can’t seem to get over to his corner. JTG puts Percy down and flies off the second turnbuckle, right into a dropkick that sends him halfway back to Brooklyn. Percy makes the tag and Titus lays out everybody. Titus hits his big shoulder breaker on Young but Tamina distracts Titus, allowing Young to knee Titus in the back and roll him up for a three-count. Darren Young and JTG win.After the match, Titus gets a mic. Could he be a bit frustrated? Titus cuts a passionate (if rambling) Titus promo and issues a challenge to Darren Young. I think. He was kind of contradicting himself here, issuing a challenge and then saying it wasn’t about challenges. Titus says he’ll show everybody next week that he is the next breakout star. I’d like to note that there were some boos from the audience here, which wasn’t quite the reaction I expected out of them.They show the WWE Network ad again, which people online have been saying contained dub-step music. Will someone explain to me what that’s supposed to mean?Derrick Bateman vs Johnny Curtis:There’s someone in the crowd with an “I Paid to See Bateman” sign. Don’t know if I’ve ever seen one of those before.Curtis hides in the corner at first, but soon takes control. Bateman answers back with a crossbody off the ropes and already this match seems more back and forth than most NXT matches I see. That might be smart, considering this is a heel vs heel match. After a chop fest in the corner in which he won, Bateman seems to be bleeding from the nose. Bateman hits a dropkick to Johnny’s face in the ring, but Curtis dodges another off the apron. Bateman is grabbing his arm as NXT takes its final commercial break.Back from commercial Curtis has what could be a keylock on Bateman’s inured arm. Curtis uses the turnbuckle to wretch on Bateman’s fingers and continues picking away at them with a move off the top rope. “Ahhh, I love you all!” Curtis yells at the crowd as he continues to pull away at Bateman’s fingers. Derrick hits a couple chops but gets sent shoulder first into the far turnbuckle. Bateman starts to turn it around with a back body drop followed by a clothesline and a neckbreaker. I think Curtis ironically may have jammed his own finger after that back-body-drop. Bateman hits a crossbody off the top rope that Curtis rolls through. Another chop-fest in the center of the ring. Curtis and Bateman run the ropes and bump heads to audible boos from the crowd. Man-Tasm to Curtis, which Matthews just calls “Innovative Offense”. Yes, Josh, that was his finish and it does give him the victory. Derrick Bateman wins.Maxine shows up. Oh man, I half hope this turns into a pregnancy storyline. How dumb/awesome would that be!? Maxine apparently doesn’t like Batman asking her mom questions about her and calls off the engagement! Dun dun dun. Bateman sad. Curtis happy. Fire Bad!
Wrap-up:If you don’t get that joke then look it the hell up.Ah…..what to say about this week’s NXT……what is there to say really? Sometimes I read the match line up ahead of time and I’m surprised by how good it turns out to be. Other times, like this week, it ends up being just as boring as you’d expect. We’ve seen these matches in some form or another so many times before and with the exception of Curtis vs Bateman they’re pretty well played out at this point. I don’t need to see the Usos face Hawkins and Reks again. I don’t need to see Team Titus have the exact same match against wrestlers X and Y. I want some forward momentum for God’s sake, or at least some sort of goal for these wrestlers to work towards. I guess what I’m saying WWE, is that what I want for Christmas is a new season of NXT. Or a floor seats to the Royal Rumble. Take your pick. NXT this week gets a 3/10 this week and no segment recommendations at all.Merry Freakin’ Christmas part 1:Speaking of the Holiday season, all this month I’m going to give you the readers the perfect gift, and it just so happens to be the same gift I would give Jerry Lawler if we were buds: pictures of some of my favorite wrestling hotties! So without further ado here’s a recent favorite of Serena Deeb, SES’s Mary Magdalene to C M Punk’s…..well, you know. Serena recently has had to withdraw from in-ring action because of a serious concussion but has also stated on twitter that she is now one year free from alcohol, so it looks like all in all things are going pretty well for Serena. Hopefully she can get back to wrestling eventually but until then we’ll just have to be satisfied with pictures like firstname.lastname@example.org