Good evening NXT faithful. This here’s Lonestar, reporting once again from the bowels of cyberspace. Let’s talk about NXT, shall we?

Alright, so there’s a few things I took away from everyone’s favorite developmental program this week, including the fact that…

The commentators were atrocious.

That’s a-t-r-o-c-i-o-u-s, atrocious. Recently it seems we’ve gotten two sets of commentary teams. The first, featuring Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton and William Regal, is pretty damn enjoyable to listen to and manages to be both entertaining and helpful to the product. Renee Young also meshes well with this A-team. Then there’s tonight’s crew. We’ve got Jason Bloom, who has improved his way to acceptable, the new guy, who seems professional but also kind of lost, and Alex Riley, a man whose personality could provoke divine intervention in the near future.

If that last sentence didn’t tip off my opinion of the man and you lack the ability to watch NXT entirely, let me be blunt: Alex Riley is terribly annoying on commentary and drags down everyone around him. It goes beyond being the “heel commentator” and into “so distractingly moronic you derail the whole show” territory. Riley’s customary efforts combined poorly with the new guy’s growing pains tonight, causing the show to grind to halt around what language Bulgarian people speak (fun fact, it’s Bulgarian) in less than five minutes. Seriously, they managed a face-palmer in less than five minutes.

I have to assume the commentary gets better than this. I don’t think it can really get any worse without strapping a headset on an angry chimpanzee.

Another thing I noticed this week was…

NXT setting up title feuds.

“What’s next?” is the eternal question of a wrestling company, especially one that just announced another big live program for May 29th. If you pay attention, you can actually see the WWE setting up their pieces for that event during tonight’s show. The most obvious move was stripping Paige of her NXT title, only to have Charlotte pin her in the women’s tag team match later on in the show. Whether or not stripping the title was planned before that match occurred (remember, NXT tapes the bulk of its segments weeks in advance), giving Charlotte the big win is a pretty clear indication of what they’re planning for her.

On the men’s side of things, you’ve got Brodus Clay hopefully not actually knocking out Adrian Neville’s teeth in a backstage segment and the reappearance of Tyson Kidd, complete with a victory over Mason Ryan and an energetic line-reading of a promo. While I know the answer of which of these two men actually fight Adrian Neville at the not-PPV, looking just at tonight’s episode it could have gone either way.

Of course, this still leaves the Ascension with no discernible stories to tell.  Maybe they’ll see if the Headbangers are doing anything that day?

Actual Fun Stuff.

Beyond terrible announcing, the opening steps of a PPV push and squash matches, tonight’s NXT also had some fun, specifically the main event pitting the Usos and Sami Zayn against the Ascension and Corey Graves. Unfortunately, I am not a competent enough writer to explain why the pairing of these two teams would create an enjoyable main event and am therefore forced to express my feelings through short and unruly poem.


Dark warriors, boring wrestlers.

Strong Samoans forces boulders to move.

Superkicks for everyone.

…and that was NXT. What’d you think of the show? Do you wish mother-effing Giant Bernard would chop Alex Riley in half the next time he calls him fat? Let us know young warriors.