This is my second week back after a short absence and I just want to inform you all that I love you all and I am never going away. Where have I heard that before? This week’s episode of WWE Superstars was very short. I have yet to discuss my thoughts on the current WWE product. With Wrestlemania fast approaching I thought I would talk a little about the potential biggest match in the history of the business. I’m talking of course about Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan. What? Mike Aires has done that already? Damn… I suppose I’ll just do Cena vs. Rock then.<!--more-->I’m really looking forward to the Main Event of Wrestlemania 28. I expect it to deliver. Their promos are getting a little bit repetitive but they are still mildly entertaining. Who will I be supporting in Miami? Let’s go Cena! Why will I support West Newbury’s fruity pebble? He’s an active Professional Wrestler whilst The Rock walked out on the WWE for Hollywood.Dwayne says that he has already done the WWE thing and hence people don’t expect him to be at every episode of RAW. I just don’t buy this defence. He was only in the WWE for 8 years. That is a relatively short period of time. The Undertaker was an established star long before Rocky was and he is still here. Rock wants to be a Hollywood star NOT a WWE Superstar; otherwise he would have stayed longer than 8 years. Therefore I say “Screw you Mr. Johnson, I look forward to seeing you kiss John Cena’s candy ass in Miami.”None of us are getting any younger so let’s review this week’s episode of WWE Superstars. This was a short episode. Its Wrestlemania season and they spent a larger portion of the show promoting the main events for April 1st. Even with a short duration, this show was significantly better than last week’s.Match 1 – Santino Marella vs. Curt HawkinsSantino is such a versatile performer. A short time ago he almost defeated Daniel Bryan for the World Heavyweight Championship inside the Elimination Chamber. This week he is in the opening bout of WWE Superstars. He performs well in any position.Curt Hawkins is a guy I admire. He still has a long way to go but he has genuine passion and determination. If he continues with his efforts he will definitely move up the card. The only thing I don’t like is his cane. In my book only two people use canes; Persons with walking difficulties or 90’s Pimps. Mr. Hawkins is neither of these…unless he pimps Tyler Reks out.No sooner has the bell rang and Santino is demonstrating some MMA (Marella Martial Arts). This involves; forward rolls, scissor kicks, Samoan kicks etc. He rarely makes contact with his opponent, nevertheless its entertaining. We are informed that Marella is now doing Yoga. Who doesn’t these days? The crowd get really loud with their chant “Cobra! Cobra! Cobra!” Santino works with this and set’s up the finishing manoeuvre but before he can make contact Hawkins leaves the ring.Santino puts his snake away and Curt re-enters the ring. Marella performs a takedown on his opponent and proceeds to spin over Hawkins to keep him down. Curt hates this comical offense and attempts to take control of the match, however, Marella reverses his running attack into an armdrag. Santino continues to dominate utilising mat based moves, predominantly holds. The former LowerCard Mafia member get’s a couple of minor hits in before Santino executes a couple of armdrag takedowns. A little oscillation of control follows before the commercial break.We come back and Curt has control. Hawkins performs a takedown I’ve never seen before; as Santino comes off the ropes Curt performs a clothesline to his opponent’s feet whilst sliding out of the ring. It’s not the most exciting move but at least he is being creative. Curt continues with his offense and lands a nice bodyslam. Marella finds a way back into the bout after dodging a big splash in the turnbuckle. The Italian proceeds with his comeback sequence. Tyler Reks does what all good hoe’s would do for their pimp, he gets up on the mat to distract Marella allowing Hawkins to get to his feet and land a clothesline. Curt goes for the pin and thinks he’s got it but Santino kicks out. Curt Hawkins lines up a DDT but Santino reverses this into a cradle pin and gets the 3 count.MoM – Santino Marella This was a really good match, I enjoyed it. They had good chemistry, utilised an effective move-set and embraced the audience. Hopefully both guys keep up the good work.Match 2 – Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix (c) (non-title)Do I really have to tell you this is a non-title match? Or can I trust you to make reasonable assumptions? Our readers are typically quite intelligent so in future I think I will put my trust in you.Alicia is feeling confident about securing a victory over the Glamazon but I think she’s probably alone on that one. Beth takes control early on applying some ferocious strikes to Alicia Fox. Phoenix picks up her opponent with ease to hit a hard bodyslam. She attempts to set up the Glam Slam but Alicia fights out. Fox looks to initiate some offense of her own but Beth immediately takes back control of the bout.Beth Phoenix is notably more aggressive both physically and vocally. Previously she has been relaxed, confident and cocky. However, she now seems to be taking offense to a challenge. I like it. I would prefer if CM Punk took this kind of approach in his feud with Jericho. Phoenix proceeds to place Fox in a headlock. Beth then misses a spear in the turnbuckle and Alicia Fox takes advantage; after a couple of forearms she grounds her opponent with a dropkick. She then works over Beth in the corner with some stomp kicks. Alicia signals the end screaming like a distressed Chimpanzee being anally violated by a very large Horse. Beth was approximately 9.41 inches from her when she screamed and was therefore aware of Alicia’s finishing intentions. Subsequently, she avoided Fox’s Scissors Kick and hit the Glam Slam. Beth followed up with a successful pin.WoM – Beth PhoenixI like the new edge that Phoenix has. If the rumours are true and she will in fact face the awesome Kharma at Wrestlemania then this additional dimension to her character will serve her well. Beth got a decent length of time to demonstrate her dominance and I enjoyed watching her. Alicia did an ok job too. For a Divas match it was a good.Match 3 – The Great Khali vs. Jinder MahalIf Jinder Mahal had been giving the Punjabi Plunge to my sister I wouldn’t like him very much. I just don’t feel that same resentment from Khali. Why does he need to be so calm all the time? The only theory I have is that he is perhaps an emotionless robot. A wrestling machine sent back through time with the challenge of squashing his opponents. I’m only joking, that is such silly gimmick… allow me to get RY BACK on to the review.Jinder begins with some striking offense but that is never going to work against a 7 foot Punjabi monster. Khali bounces Mahal off the ropes and chops him down. With Jinder in the turnbuckle Khali pulls out one of his more complex moves; a big slap. It looked really painful. Bret Hart once said the only guy more stupid than the one giving the slap is the one taking it; a rational statement in the world of Professional Wrestling is a rare thing. The Punjabi monster continues his period of control with a head butt to Jinder before clotheslining him over the top rope.Mahal eventually lands his first real offense in the form of a DDT. After three stomp kicks he follows up with his signature high knee drops at the ropes. Jinder doesn’t slow down and works over his opponent in the corner choking and kicking him. At the risk of being disqualified Jinder moves out of the corner. Khali gets to his feet and with the assistance of some basic striking moves he re-gains control of the bout. The Punjabi Playboy hits the Khali chop for the win.MoM – Jinder MahalThis was an ok match. I don’t think people expect too much when it comes to Khali. I lowered my expectations and as a result I enjoyed the match. Unless these two go on to face off at Wrestlemania the match doesn’t mean much. Nonetheless, it was an entertaining bout. The live crowd seem to dig Khali so at least he is good for something.SummaryWWE Superstars is more about the individual matches than any real storylines; we got 3 fine matches this week. Each bout was entertaining in its own way. In my last review I complained that all 3 matches were similar and boring so I am very happy with what we got this week. We aren’t too far from Wrestlemania now and the quality of programming at all levels seems to be reasonably high. I am enjoying it and I hope you are too. I just wish they could do this all year round.Thank you for reading my work and if you have any feedback I would be glad to hear it either via email firstname.lastname@example.org
or in the comment section below.