There is a good chance I am preaching to the converted. However, I thought I should try my hand at persuading the readers of whom are pessimistic about the potential benefits of the site move. If the following plea does cannot convince you then I don’t think anything ever will.
Some of our readers were highly critical of the move. Some even think that TJR Wrestling will hit Rock Bottom; I think those readers need a mild Attitude Adjustment. I can think of at least 619 elements of the new site which are an improvement on the original. There is not a chance in a hell of coming across a Tombstone for TJR Wrestling because it has the Pedigree. Yes there is a new comment system but you hardly have to be a Codebreaker to use it. Just accept that the site came to a Cross Rhodes and opted to go in the right direction. Please stop being a Backstabber. Yes the end of TheJohnReport.net is sad but just because it has to Go To Sleep does not spell the end for the columns that you so dearly love. It is hardly Trouble in Paradise. TheJohnReport.net had its Last Ride. TJR Wrestling is Air Bourne.
Who needs WWE’s Wrestlemania when there’s Galloway’s PunMania!
Match 1 – Kofi Kingston vs. Curt Hawkins w/Tyler Reks
I just have to give a quick shout-out to the kid seated behind Josh Matthews and Scott Stanford; his enthusiasm is unrivalled and insurmountable.
Hawkins wins the initial jostle but Kingston quickly turns things around with the assistance of his impressive agility. The bout is not long started and Kingston looks to end it with Trouble in Paradise, however, the former Jamaicans attempts are in vain as Hawkins escapes the ring before he can connect. Reks has a little tactical chat with his tag-team partner on the outside; I don’t feel the same guy love from them as I do with Hunico and Camacho. There is a fan with a very original sign that says “The Guy Behind Me Can’t See”; of course he cannot see because your holding a sign up – what an idiot! Kofi Kingston indicates the size of his penis to his opponent; very inappropriate Kofi.
Hawkins gets his mafia ass back in the ring and performs a smooth take down on Kingston. Curt secures his control with an arm-bar. Kofi works out of Hawkins’ control with some impressive acrobatic movement which culminates with a big splash on his opponent for a near fall. Mr. Hawkins attempts to mount a quick come back but Kingston counters his running attack into an arm-drag and follows up with an arm-bar. Curt eventually escapes his opponents hold and grounds Kingston with a side headlock. Kofi slowly gets to his feet and forces himself out of his opponents hold whilst catapulting Hawkins towards the adjacent ropes. Unfortunately for Kofi; Hawkins comes right back at him and performs a shoulder takedown. Curt attempts to land more offense off the ropes but his attempts fail as Kingston lands a diving shoulder block. Kingston furthers his control with a dropkick, and after clotheslining his opponent out of the ring, lands a nice dive to the outside.
Mr. K Kingston returns Curt to the ring but after a distraction from Tyler Reks his opponent lands a hard knee to the chest. With Kofi on the apron Curt Hawkins lands a neckbreaker off the top rope which sends Kingston to the outside and us viewers to commercial.
We return from commercial with Hawkins in control. Kofi has a brief fight back but Curt remains in control with the assistance of a big clothesline. Curt continues his dominance with a standing headlock before hitting a leg sweep takedown on Kofi for a 2 count. Kingston creates an opportunity to mount a comeback with a pendulum kick in the turnbuckle. He follows up with a huge cross body off the top rope. KK continues his attack with chest chops and a standing dropkick. Kingston hits S.O.S, however, he does so within reasonable proximity to the ropes and Curt utilises this advantageous position to break the pin attempt. Kofi looks to land some springboard offense but he fails to connect with his opponent. Curt Hawkins hits a bodyslam for the 2 count. Kingston gets to his feet and quickly lands Trouble in Paradise. A successful pin attempt follows. Winner – Kofi Kingston
MoM – Kofi Kingston
Firstly I would like to offer Mr. Kingston some advice; trim your beard. My advice to Curt would be to persevere with his efforts. He and his partner are making reasonable progress. This match was mildly entertaining. The presence of Kingston always contributes towards a good match and Curt did a decent job too. The tempo was good and both wrestlers utilised fundamental wrestling holds throughout.
Match 2 – Kelly Kelly vs. Bella
What Bella? Who cares? If your answer is “Me” then please leave this column and return to your day-to-day routine of tweeting said Bella about how much you love her.
It is a shame all of the Bella fans have already stopped reading because their girl takes control early on with some aggressive stomps in the corner. The referee backs Bella up from her opponent. She attempts to go back in for some more stomping action but Kelly counters into that weird handstand choke thing she does with the collaboration of the ropes. Kelly releases her opponent and pulls her to the outside. With Bella grounded Kelly repeatedly slams her face off the mat; the funny thing is that Kelly does this so quickly that Bella doesn’t realises that she has stopped and continues to hit her face of the mat one extra time. I really don’t understand why fans think the Diva division is in a bad place…
I’ll tell you who else is in a bad place; Bella. She knows it to as she pleads with Kelly to make a truce. Kelly looks as if she may accept Bella’s offer! Kelly extends her hand to Bella and as the tears begin to trickle from my eyes our girl Kelly Kelly stomps on that bitch’s hand. Aw Yeah. She follows up with a slap to the backside. Aw Yeah. She looks to land the Kelly-go-round but Bella counters into a side slam. Bella continues her offense with basic striking moves and proceeds to pull Kelly’s extensions hair. Bella goes for a pin attempt but her offense has warranted a mere 2 count. Once in WWE ’12 I got a 37 count but the referee was down. It was a glitch in the game and I had to restart; suffice to say I was not a happy bunny. Oops! Apparently there is a wrestling match going on. Bella continues to wear down her opponent with basic holds. For the longest time Kelly struggles to escape the hold of her opponent. However, eventually Barbara gets to her feet and lands an arm drag which is followed up with a Lou Thesz Press. Next, Kelly hits; Kelly-go-round, Kelly Killer and Stink face. Bella looks to land some offense but Kelly counters into a bridged pin for the 3 count. Winner – Kelly Kelly
WoM – Kelly Kelly
The WWE Superstars Divas match is always better than what we get on RAW and this was no exception. These girls will never be as good as Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Kharma or Tamina but they performed adequately within what can be expected of them. Kelly’s offense was actually not to bad. If you try not to take them too seriously you may enjoy the match; I know I did.
Match 3 – Jinder Mahal vs. Ezekiel Jackson
It’s my main man big Jinder Mahal. It has been sometime since I have reviewed this fine athlete’s performance; hence my excitement. It has also been sometime since I have received anti-Jinder abuse in the comment section; I wonder if I will receive such with the new comment system. Only time will tell. Ezekiel looks slightly heavier than what we usually see. The most common reason behind weight gain is the termination of relationships; c’mon WWE help a brother out. Bring back Brian Kendrick.
Mahal appears to have established initial control only to be swatted down by big Ezekiel. Jinder quickly get back to his feet and slaps Ezekiel Jackson in the face. The personification of domination takes a brief moment to consider his retaliation before quickly hacking Jinder down. I suppose this is the part when the WWE locker-room runs down to break them up? No? Damn, I really mark out for Goldust in a suit.
Ezekiel continues his offense in the turnbuckle area and lands a big toss on Mahal. With his opponent in the turnbuckle area Mr. Jackson attempts a running clothesline, however, Jinder reverses his opponent’s offense into a takedown which culminates with Jackson landing face first on the second tier of the turnbuckle. Jinder recognises the opportunity for attack and proceeds with stomping offense. Mahal drags his opponent out of the turnbuckle and lands a swinging neckbreaker in the centre of the ring. This warrants a 2 count. Mahal furthers his offense with a leg choke on the middle rope and some stomps; I won’t lie to you that transition was slightly messy. With Ezekiel on one leg Jinder continues with his knee offense; this time ramming his knee into the jaw of his opponent repeatedly.
The crowd chant USA! USA! USA! Presumably for our announcer Tony Chimel because neither competitor is from these here United States of America. What is Jinder’s response to the USA chants? He performs a Russian leg sweep on his opponent. Big Zeke is really struggling to find a way into the bout and with Jinder locking in a chin-lock things don’t look too good for the West African.
Mahal takes his opponent to the corner and delivers another slap to the face. This enrages Ezekiel as he lands a right hand on Jinder and genuinely makes contact. Many fans have deemed Jacksons actions negligent and careless for this mistake but in my book Ezekiel reacted perfectly fine to Jinder’s slap. The contact was minimal but enough to produce blood. Jackson raises the tempo and after a big takedown he lands several clotheslines on a cornered Jinder Mahal. Zeke looks to land a big slash on Jinder but the Canadian Indian counters with a boot to the face. Mahal follows up with a knee to the back of the neck and locks in the Punjabi Clutch. Ezekiel submits to the greatness of Jinder Mahal. Winner – Jinder Mahal.
MoM – Jinder Mahal
Jinder carried the match. The more I review Jackson the more I recognise his limitations in the ring. I think he will be amongst the casualties for WWE’s spring cleaning. These days he seems more like a metaphor for mild control than personification of domination and that surely has no positives. Jinder will certainly survive the roster shake up but he is by no means moving up the roster anytime soon. Overall the match was decent. It was typical hard-hitting Mahal offense with a methodical tempo and relatively short duration.
This week’s episode was average. The opening bout was the best match of all three with Kingston, not surprisingly, coming across as the star performer. The other two bouts, in terms of quality, were typical Superstars matches. Perhaps I perceive them as average because the Superstars matches over the Wrestlemania season were of such a high standard. Overall the show was not disappointing; I think I just need to readjust my expectancy levels.
Thank you for reading my work and if you have any feedback I would be glad to hear it either via email email@example.com in the comment section below (if you are not too intimated by the new concept). As always, thanks for reading.