WWE Superstars 04/19/2012

By Graham Galloway


This week’s episode of WWE Superstars is brought to you from the prestigious United Kingdom. When I say United Kingdom I really mean England. Unfortunately the WWE do not appear to be interested in broadcasting RAW and/or Smackdown from Scotland. Nor do they seem tempted to broadcast from Wales or Northern Ireland. Yes the UK is relatively small but London is a 9 hour drive from my home. Hopefully when the WWE return next November to Birmingham I can arrange a trip down to visit – it all just depends on financial feasibility really. Anyway, let us begin our review of this week’s show.


Match 1 – Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jinder Mahal


The fighting spirit from Japan takes on the proud and regal purity of India in the battle of Asia. Yoshi looks to lock-up but Jinder rejects such cliché proceedings and instead implements a firm kick to the mid-section. Mahal effectively communicates his rage getting in the face of his opponent. The official removes Mahal from his dominating position and delivers a finger pointing telling off #naughtyboy. Tatsu attempts to exploit such advantageous circumstances, however, Mahal quickly re-gains control of the bout after a solitary chop stick from Yoshi.


Mahal performs an Irish whip sending his opponent into the turnbuckle; the Indian looks to mount some punishing offense but instead finds himself victim to some fight back from Mr.Tatsu. Yoshi hits a clothesline from the top rope - Jinder goes down way to early. Jinder Mahal rolls to the outside in an attempt to gather his thoughts but his opponent soon follows. Yoshi catapults himself to the outside and lands a big splash. Tatsu shouts something to the crowd but, like me, the UK crowd do not appear to be fluent in the tongue of Japanese and subsequently react with sympathetic enthusiasm. Yoshi throws Jinder back into the ring but Mahal quickly rolls back out and catches the Japanese superstar on the apron. With Yoshi grounded on the apron Mahal proceeds to choke/suffocate his opponent with the banner apron; ironically Josh Matthews is mid-sentence telling us how innovative Yoshi is.


We return to the ring with Mahal retaining control via some striking offense; he goes for the cover and receives a 2 count. Not content with fundamental striking offense Jinder initiates a chin. Mahal produces further submission offense; this time with his patented leg choke on the middle rope. After an excessive period of control Jinder finds himself facing his first real challenge in terms of Tatsu offense. Yoshi slowly fights his way back into the bout with an arrangement of chops and punches. Unfortunately, the Japanese superstar’s offense is cut short as Mahal executes a hard knee to his opponent’s face. Jinder advances with his typical methodical attack featuring predominantly stomps. Mahal looks to land a fall-away slam, however, Tatsu counters this into a pin attempt which warrants a 2 count.


We regularly hear the commentators inform us of the innovative and creative aspect of Yoshi’s offense; finally we get to see some. Tatsu grasps his opponent and as they are side by side performs a forward roll leaving Jinder sitting up on the mat, he then comes off the ropes and lands a diving clothesline. Congratulations Yoshi. Perhaps I spoke prematurely - Mahal reverses Tatsu’s attempts at finishing the bout. Jinder successfully plants his knee to the back of his opponent’s neck and follows up with the Camel Clutch. Tatsu taps out. Winner – Jinder Mahal


MoM – Jinder Mahal


Much like last week; Mahal carried the bout. I know some of our readers are not happy with my criticism of Yoshi but his selling at times was well below average; at times non-existent. Jinder’s selling wasn’t as good as it usually is but his offense is always oozing natural aggression. It was a fairly enjoyable bout. There has been talk of either one of these superstars (or even both) being subject to contract release fairly soon; you may want to check out potentially one of their last matches. P.S. I would bet my bottom Rupee that Jinder Mahal will not be future endeavoured.


Match 2 – Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres


Matthews describes Kelly Kelly with the following pre-fix “the always gorgeous”. Even without her; extensions, eye liner, foundation, fake tan, bleached teeth, blusher and lip gloss? Striker informs three young fans seated behind him to stay away from girls like Eve when they are older; fine advise if you ask me – go after the munters.


Kelly performs the roll of the conductor as the crowd engage in a “Hoeski” chant. They lock up and jostle like to sexy dinosaurs; if there is such a thing. For all the criticism I direct towards Matt Striker I have to commend him on his humour when he informs us that Zack Ryder has resorted to setting up a profile on Match.com; I laughed out loud at that one! I didn’t laugh my ass off or roll on the floor laughing though so don’t get carried away.


 Eve slaps Kelly and proceeds to swing wildly at her opponent in an attempt to disguise a slap that completely missed her opponent. Our referee backs Eve up and Kelly takes advantage landing a Lou Thesz Press. Kelly’s next real offense is that weird handstand choke that she does with the collaboration of the ropes. I need to think of a clever name for that move. With Eve on the apron Kelly comes off the adjacent ropes with venomous velocity and lands a merciless missile drop kick to her opponent; I am surprised Eve isn’t broken in half. Kelly continues with some basic offense manoeuvres and proceeds to land a crossbody pin attempt off the top rope. She warrants a 2 count. Babs continues her control and initiates mounted punches in the corner; it was at this point I prayed to our Lord and Saviour Christianity Made Punk to shut Kelly up because her voice was either going to burst my ear drum or cause me to one up Vincent Van Gogh. Our saviour heard my prayers and provided Eve with the strength to throw her opponent to the ground.


Eve quickly resumes control and secures a chin-lock on Barbie. Eve proceeds to choke Kelly whilst taking a well earned seat on top of the turnbuckle. The crowd engage with their first chant “We appreciate Diva wrestling talent!” No I’m only joking, can you imagine such insanity? The real chant was “Yes! Yes! Yes!” My response was “Aye! Aye! Aye!” – I thought I’d throw that in for the Scottish readers since this is a UK episode. Eve continues to utilise submission offense and locks in an innovative stretch hold. Our girl Kelly Kelly escapes the evil clutches of Eve by means of arm drag. She then performs a genuinely impressive handstand hurricanrana; this warrants a 2 count. Eve responds quickly planting Kelly and again grounding her opponent with a submission hold. Eve Torres looks to land a flipping leg drop on her opponent. However, not for the first time, a Torres misses in the UK.


Kelly takes advantage of an injured Torres; landing an ensemble of striking offense. She follows up with the Kelly-go-round, Kelly Killer and Stink Face. I’m not sure why she calls it the Stink face – I cannot imagine her bum stinking of anything except maybe out-of-date anal lubricant. Eve performs a take down on her opponent and goes for the pin attempt; she gets her feet onto the ropes without the referee noticing her dastardly tactics and picks up the win. Winner – Eve Torres


WoM – Kelly Kelly


This bout was somewhat entertaining. There was reasonably impressive offense at times and the Divas, though demonstrating a lack of talent, always apply exhausting efforts working coherently to deliver the best match that they can. They both sold adequately and I was impressed with the tempo they produced.


Match 3 – R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger w/Vickie Guerrero


I know that Jack Swagger has talent; I understand his strengths. However, I cannot convince myself that he is remotely entertaining. I do not fault Jack, though. I think the WWE needs to move his all American-American ass over to Smackdown and feud him properly. Back when he had his first, and only, World title reign he really impressed me with his ability to differentiate himself and introduce individualism. It is even more impressive when you consider that his feud was with Big Show who is simply a big bore. R-Truth would also benefit from a move to the blue brand; I enjoyed his brief #1 contender spot against John Cena last year. He definitely has the ability to produce at the highest level.


As both competitors jostle for control the crowd are chanting something, however, I cannot understand that cockney accent - there is a huge difference between Scots English and London English. Jack wins control and lands a back slam on R-Truth; he proceeds to utilise his opponent as a base for 3 consecutive press-ups. Swagger continues to taunt by kissing his biceps before being subject to a forceful takedown by R-Truth. In a blind rage Swagger looks to regain control by means of running offense but Ron simply reverses the all American-American’s efforts into an hip-toss. We get the jumping splits from Truth followed by his big leg drop.


R-Truth continues to control the bout with an arm bar; Swagger attempts to flip out of it but Truth, impressively, maintains his hold. Truth recognises that his current offense is sedentary and interacts with the crowd yelling “What’s Up!” It is little things like that which differentiate the top guys from the rest of the trailing pack. Jack Swagger fights back with a knee to the mid section; he employs further striking offense. Swagger begins to play with his hair egotistically; you need a good haircut in order to do this, Jack. Please consult Mr. Ziggles for further advice. Swagger fails to impose himself on the bout and Truth takes back control with a hip toss and arm bar. More “What’s Up!” from Truth.


Jack moves to mount some offense and he successfully strikes his opponent to the mat. With R-Truth down Jack Swagger comes off the adjacent ropes to land a double leg drop. This warrants a 1 count. Unimpressed with his opponents ability to kick out of his pin attempt so quickly Swagger initiates a submission hold in an attempt to drain Truth of his energy. Ron Killings escapes his opponents hold and executes a leg lariat. Truth follows up on a grounded opponent. However, Jack intelligently rolls to the perimeter of the ring and pulls on the top rope which leads to Truth falling out of the ring. Swagger follows Ron outside and lands a huge clothesline.


We get a Brock Lesnar promo; I look forward to reviewing Brock on WWE Superstars…


Back from commercial/promo and Mr. Swagger is in the position of control. Jack, again, fails to impose himself on his opponent and this allows R-Truth to find a way back into the bout. Truth commences with basic striking offense which culminates with an attempted bulldog, however, Swagger reverses this into an impressive back slam - Jack secures control with a hold. At this point both competitors appear fatigued. After some back and forth R-Truth almost gets the win with a roll-up pin. Swagger replies with a diving shoulder block and proceeds to work over his opponent in the corner. Truth plants Swagger with a tornado DDT from the top rope; both guys are down. Slowly, Truth moves to cover his opponent; 2 count. Both guys make it to their feet and go back and forth with striking offense. Truth begins to take control and lands a couple of running clotheslines before hitting the Lie Detector. Swagger lands a huge slam for the 2 count. Jack attempts to land the big splash in the corner but Truth gets his feet up to block. Ronald makes it to his feet and hits What’s Up! A successful pin attempt follows. Winner- R-Truth


MoM – Jack Swagger


Both these guys are in a different league to the others who appeared on the show. They put on a really good match which featured impressive; offense, continuity and tempo. They included the aspect of fatigue which increased the stakes for both guys as they had invested high efforts in order to pick up the victory.




Better than average episode this week. The only aspect I am missing from the post-Mania episodes is the Tag Team Champions or The Usos. I understand that Primo and Epico are part of storyline which involves them being off television but I would still appreciate their presence on WWE Superstars; they are always entertaining and exciting to watch. Hopefully the Usos are back on the show next week.


What did you think of this week’s episode? Did you enjoy the chemistry between Swagger and Truth? Were you entertained by the Divas? Are you convinced of Mahal’s charisma? I always enjoy our readers thoughts so let me know what you think in the comment section below. As always, thanks for reading.




Twitter – @Graham_Galloway (Please note that the majority of my tweets are composed by personal scribe Shug)